Among the thorns
by Miriellar
Summary: The inconceivable results of the naivety and arrogance of a Lorien elleth bring the edge of war to her people. Middle-Earth will see the myth of elves returned to power. Haldir and Elrohir Romance- WARNING- contains scenes of rape!
1. Lost

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognize it- it's not mine!

* * *

I know not how long they have kept me with them. I know that I have watched thesun rise and fall without me and fade to the darkness that now feel like home. I know nothing more. 

I am the kin of Lorien. I grew and lived in peace with the silver boughs,working to maintain the beauty of our lands until a short time ago.

I have been ignorant and naïve in my judgment. I am here because of my own foolishness.

They have whipped me, beaten me and used my body in ways which I do not care to divulge or re-live.

The camp is filthy. I have not eaten indays and I have been given no water, only that putrid draught which now coverd my skin in a thin sheen of filth.

My hair is covered in dirt and tangled andmy wrists have been rubbed raw and have bled as the coarse rope has bitten into my flesh as i've been pulled along.

My Adar and Atara are no doubt worried about me. I had not even left a note telling them where I had gone. I had left wearing a blue riding dress and a cloak, the cloak had been lost during the struggle when I had been captured and my dress was now torn beyond repair or even decency.

My eyes shifted from the disgusting bodies of the orcs to the brilliant streaks of organge and pink that was the sunset. I shivered, not because I was cold, but because I feared what would happen when the dark blanketed the sky. Not even the stars could save me then.

I sighed wearily and shifted, trying desperately to relieve the pain in my back. I had been whipped last night, as I had almost every night. They had re-opened old wounds and made new ones.

I had taken sword lessons from some of the best warriors in Lothlorien. Even Lord Celeborn had been known to spar with me on occasion though, of course, I lost to him. I had trained long and hard to become an able warrior. Unfortunately all of my training could not save me from the torement that awaited me.

I closed my eyes and was jolted by the sound of clanging. I opened them slowly, knowing what was coming next.

The leader of the hoard approached me and grabbing my hair he shoved my face down into the dirt. Mud coated one side of my face and the bitter taste of dirt flooded my senses almost making me retch.

I could feel the repulsive hands pulling at my skirts and against my will my body lay still and I was unable to stop myself. The humiliation was now part of my life. My underwear had been disposed of the first night they took me. I felt the sharp nail like claws as they scratched the back of my thigh. A hand was laid on my backside and I prepared myself for the pain, though it never helped. The pain intensified each time. They had taken me violently in both of my passages. The pain when I walked was horrendous and I knew that my violation was the cause.

I felt nauseous as I heard the laughter and sneering of the rest of them that had gathered to watch.

I felt a searing pain as he entered me and I bit my lip to stop myself crying out in pain, but I would not cry.

I closed my eyes and let my mind drift.

When I opened my eyes once more, the sun was shining and the birds were singing. I was alone. They had left me here alone.

I felt pain and exhaustion wash over me, and I let sleep take me.

* * *

A magnificent horse and its elven rider bust through the trees at a great speed, cloak flying wildly behind him and his face set in grim determination. 

He and his brother had been tracking orcs for months now with great sucess but depite this the months of behing away from their homeland had taken their toll and he and his brother felt the need to return. However he could not dismiss the feeling of urgency to continue and so while his brother journeyed on he had diverted his tracks to follow an orc trail that had led him for miles. The trail had led him here, an open area of woodland not far from his home. Quickly scanning the area his grey eyessaw nothing, the orcs had already moved on.

A small bundle that was almost hidden among the tall grass caught his eye andcautiously he dismounted and approached it. Upon catching sight of a pair of bloodied bare feet he hurried over. To his shock it was a female. Her dress was torn and stiff with blood as was her hair and her skin was mottled with more injuries than he could count.Carefully moving her face to look at her he found the one aspect that perhaps saddened him the most. She was elf kind.


	2. Healing

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it isn't mine!

NessaThranduiliel- thank you- I hope you'll enjoy it

Alyssa-farrell- thanks- to be honest not even I know where this is gonna go or whats gonna happen- you'll just have to read and expect the unexpected

Angelhair1- thanks- don't worry I won't neglect my other stories. It's nice to see some of my loyal reviewers reading my other stuff

* * *

His eyes narrowed in rage at the sight of her and without further inspection he thought her dead. Her skin was waxen and her eyes closed. He could have cried at the descovery that she was still alive, it would have been kinder for her if she had fled to Mandos. 

She had been battered, bruised and possibly raped but he had no time to stop and see to any of her wounds.

Carefully, he lifted her into his arms, ignoring her soft whimpers of pain for the time being. Setting her down as comfortably as he could at the base of a large oak tree, he then set about making a fire. The hour was late and the sun was retiring, soon the stars would be their only company.

As he stoked the fire, his sensitive ears caught the sound of hooves. It was an elven horse, that much he knew, but who it was remained to be seen.

A white horse bearing a rider who was hidden by a blue cloak, casually made its way over to the small camp.

The rider leapt off of his horse and embraced Elrohir.

"Brother, how did you find me?"

Elladan drew back his hood, to reveal his identical high cheekbones, grey eyes and long dark hair.

"Ro. You underestimate me"

Seeing the bundle near the tree he raised an eyebrow

"Are you now in the habit of stealing maiden's brother?"

Elrohir's eyes turned dark and his expression one of anger. He made his way over to his discarded pack and took out a carefully wrapped bundle of medicines. He looked over to his brother and motioned for him to remove his cloak and set it on the ground.

"I found her here a short while ago.She has not been seen to,I had to make a fire before I could do anything"

Elladan watched as his brothers features hardened and his eyes became fierce. His brother was a gentle elf who was patient and kind. It was rare that this side of him was seen, by anyone.

Elrohir stood and lifted the girl as gently as he could and brought her to rest on Elladan's cloak.

Together the two set about boiling water and cleaning her wounds. Elladan, being mindful of her wounds removed her dress and laid Elrohir's cloak over her to hide her nakedness. Identical eyes met as they saw the blood and sticky residue on her bruised thighs but before they could do anythign her eyes started to flutter against her bruised cheek. A moan came from her parted lips and the two waited. Her lids parted to reveal startling green eyes. They widened in panic and a stream of tears began to make their way down her face as she treid to sit up.

Taking charge, Elrohir placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her down.

"Peace, we are not here to harm you. We only wish to help"

He said softly as she loked at him, a look of clear panic and confusion in her eyes. She did not trust them that much was obviousbut her pain was too great and her spirit did not wish to fight.

"I am sorry, but we must clean your wounds lest they become infected. I am truly sorry my lady" Elladan said.

He glanced at his brother and silent words were passed between them. Slowly placing his slender hands underneath her Elladan rolled her over before quickly moving to her legs and allowing Elrohir to take his place. Elrohir lifted her shoulders and placed then on his knees hoping that the pressure in her pelvis would be lessened by the angle of her body.

Parting her thighs Elladan hardened his expression, blood was still making it's way down her thighs, mixed with the black of the orcs seed. Inwardly he cried out in horror, she was torn and battered andhe knew thatwould no doubt pain her for sometime to come.

He raised his eyes and looked at his brother; deciding that it would be better to care for the whip wounds on her back he reached for a cloth.

She knew what was coming and braced herself. She waited and was shocked when it did not happen instead feeling only gentle hands on her back. The dull pain invaded her sense and spread through her body liek wild fire but she remained still under their care

Elrohir, sensing her distress decided it would be best to talk to her.

"I am Elrohir and this is my brother Elladan. I am sorry for the inconvenience my lady but you will just have to lie back and enjoy it while we lavish attention on you"

She tried to laugh but it hurt and she was somewhat startled by the sound.It had been so long since laughter had passed her lips and now it felt so foreign to her. But nonetheless it had given Elrohir the distraction that he had needed.

She stiffened as she felt Elladan's hands on her backside and the twins felt a wave of terror sweel within the air aroudn them. Elrohir was quick to save the situation and while Elladan worked talked avidly to her. As her discomfort increased he held her hands tightly makign sure that he never let her go.

Elladan coated his fingers with a healing athelas paste; carefully he inserted a slender finger into her battered entrance, feeling her tense he waited and let her become used to the intrusion ashe did not wish for her to think that he would assault her.

Feeling her relax, somewhat forcibly, he cleaned the wounds as carefully as he could. As he did so memories of the hurt and pain assaulted her and she momentarily fought their efforts. Elrohir bent down and whispered to her, hoping to distract her. Her hands clung to his as she wept.

They waited and within a few minutes she was quiet once more.

Sharing a look with his brother they switched placed. The maiden was too exhausted to notice. Carefully they rolled her over again and laid her on her back.

The night had set in and the stars caught her attention. Their shining depths sparked something in her, though she did not know it.

Talking advantage of her distraction Elrohir quickly cleaned her most intimate parts. She flinched as his fingers moved within her andhe became worried as more blood coated his hands. With some regret he moved deeper and felt the entrance of her womb,discovering that this was the cause of the bleeding.

He worked quickly to try and stem the bleeding before the wound became life threatening while Elladan had to hold her down as everytime she felt Elrohir's fingers, her hips bucked and she desperately tried to escape from his touch.

"No, No, leave me, just let me die, please don't touch me"

She pleadeddesperately with thembut it was to no effect. Theydid not like what they had to do but it was out of necessity not malice.

Elrohir sat back on his heals and nodded at Elladan, who let her go. She did not move when she felt his hands leave her shoulders; instead she lay back as tears of exhaustion filled her eyes.

As he watched her Elrohir felt despair andhis brother knew thatdespite his expression of neutrality, inside the rage for the spawn of Mordor was building, as was his own.

Taking the opportunity he cleaned the wounds on her torso, huge scars ran over her breasts, scars that would turn silver but would never disappear.

By now the maiden had stopped looking so intently at the stars and was now focused on Elladan who smiled softly down at her.

"Hello my lady, may I have the pleasure of your name?"

He asked her, bending down to whisper it and hoping to distract her from Elrohir's ministrations.

She winced as Elrohir cleaned a deep scratch on her stomach but kept her eyes on Elladan.

"Tanithia"

Elladan smiled,

"That is a beautiful name"

She smiled genuinely at him.

Elrohir packed away what he had used and placed then near the fire. He had done all he could with the simplest of tools. All they could do now was hope that she wouldlive until they reached Imladris. His eyes scanned the trees watchig every shadow and listening to every soundas neither of them wished to meet any evils over the night as it would be impossible to make a fast exit with Tanithia in the condition that she was.

Standing by his horse Elrohir let his mind drift for a moment, wanting to escape the savage reality of their situation. he was a warrior and a healer butyet he hadstill to get used to the eveils of the world.He was a kind spirit who wished nothing but a quiet life.The idea of finding a maiden and starting a family was far from his mind though. While orcs roamed free over their lands he could not rest. To see such an innocent be subjected to the torture that this maiden had fuelled the hatred towards them.

Grey eyes, turned dark through anger, met his twins. Elladan felt just as he did. However it would not be wise to discuss it while Tanithia was still awake.

He smiled at the picture she and his brother made. She was a small elf, her frame lithe but thin from lack of nourishment. Yether body was deceptively thin, for her to have survived she must be quite a warrior. But if that was so, how was she captured in the first place?

Her skin was clean but her darkhair was still in tangles. She was as beautiful as all the elder were, high cheekbones, round eyes that sparkled like emeralds and full lips. She was in pain, he could see it from where he stood, but she tried her best to ignore it and remarkably, she did not shed one tear.

His brother was a warrior, he had devoted his time to the sword whereas Elrohir had devoted his time to literature and art. Though he too had been taught the sword and could use it well. Both of the twins had spent many years with their father, learning the art of healing. It had turned out that Elrohir was more the healer and Elladan the warrior, it was then that they had found their paths.

"Where do you come from my lady?"

Elrohir asked as he sat beside them.

A range of emotions passed over her face before she answered.

"Lorien"

The twins smiled, they regularly visited Lothlorien to see their grandparents.

"Perhaps we have seen each other but we do not recognise the other" Elladan joked, making her smile for a fleeting moment.

* * *

They were not intending to hurt me. It had been so long since somebody had touched me with care that I almost felt afraid of them. In truth, I am not afraid of them,I am only afraid of my memories. When theyhad touchedme the pain almost became unbearable. But having one of them talk to me was more intriguing and their care touched my heart. 

They were both beautiful. Dark hair and the most innocent grey eyes, although I am sure that they are anything but innocent. They have a playful side to them, that had already become obvious.

When Elrohir asked me where I lived, feelings which I did not know I stillharboured emerged. I do not feel that I have a home anymore. I had thrown away the privilege of calling myself a warrior and a daughter of Lothlorien the minute I left my home.

My mind was telling me to cry. Yet my heart told me that there was something beyond the tears. Something urged me to place my trust in their hands.

They seemed to do things together without even talking. They certainly were a mystery.

"Where are you from?"

I tentatively asked, afraid of making them angry. I snuggled down into thesoft blanket of Elrohir's coak and burriedmyself into the warmth that the twin so readily offered me.

Elladan looked at me before answering. There was a depth in his eyes, Elrohir's as well that was both fascinating and terrifying. I could get lost in them.

"We hail from Imladris, home of Lord Elrond. As you know I am Elladan and this is my brother Elrohir, we are the sons of Elrond and Celebrian"

I nodded,and tried to sit up but asI dida sharp pain shot through my stomach and I had to stop for fear of fainting. Elrohir rushed over from his place beside the fire where he was cooking something. My eyes stung with tears as the pain got worse.

* * *

I left my place at the fire when I heard a cry, it had come from Tanithia. Her hand shot to her stomach and I could see her eyes glistening with tears that she refused to let fall. Her breathing became shallow her chest heaved with the effort of trying to stay where she was. She had managed to sit up and I was surprised that she had made it that far. The injuries that she had sustained from the rapes would make her immobile. She would not be able to walk for some weeks. 

I laid my hands on her shoulders and she raised her head. Her green eyes were misty, she was exhausted, yet afraid to sleep.

"Shh, you must lie still"

She nodded and tried to lie back down. Unfortunately, it just caused more pain for her. She bust into tears and sat with her head bowed, tears running down her pale face.

I placed one arm around her shoulders and one underneath her bent knees and gently lifted her. She whimpered but her tears stopped. The cloak that was still covering her naked body was not enough to warm her weak body, therefore I had no choice but to move her closer to the fire.

With great care I sat down and settled her on my knee. To my surprise and wonder, she placed her head on my shoulder and secured herself in my arms.

We sat in silence. It was only then that I realised that Elladan had not spoken a word. I looked around and saw him tending to the horses. He caught my eyes and nodded, a small smile playing on his lips.

* * *

I don't know what it was but when he picked me up I instantly wanted to snuggle into his arms. The way he treated me made me feel safe. But then there was a part of me that wanted to slap him, for an instant I had been torn between the two. But he did not deserve my anger. 

The pain slowly subsided as I lay in his arms like a child. It was long since I had just been held by somebody and my body welcomed the offered contact.

I gazed at the flames of the fire for a while, watching them dance and listening to them crackle. So beautiful and yet so deadly.

I heard footsteps approach and lifted my head to see that it was Elladan. He crouched down beside his brother and offered me a drink. Elrohir lifted my head and I drank it. It was bitter and it was reluctant to go down. It had a sleep inducing drug in it. I'd know that taste anywhere, my mother was very fond of it.

I laid my head back down, the last thing I saw and heard were smiling faces and an old lullaby.

* * *

Elladan sighed and shook his head. 

He rose sharply and began pacing. His booted feet crunching the fallen leaves and twigs.

"This should not have happened Ro"

His twin looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms.

"No, you are right. It should not have happened. But it did and there is nothing that can change that"

Elladan shook his head, his anger beginning to die down. The fire cast a shadow and made the elf look more intimidating than he actually was.

"Dan, would you please sit down"

Elladan sent a sharp look in his brother's direction but did as he was asked.

"What shall we do tomorrow?"

"We shall leave early, hopefully we should make it home before nightfall"

Elladan nodded.

"I do not like this Ro. At all" he said looked at Tanithia who slept with a troubled look on her face.


	3. Unknown

Disclaimer- I won nothing- if you recognise it-its not mine! 

Thank you to all those who reviewed!

* * *

The air smelled of pine and burnt wood. A soothing scent. But the quiet of the night was unnerving andno matter how often I stayed among the trees it still had the ability to put my wits through their paces.

I looked down to look at Tanithia, she had slept well for most of the night but for the past hour she had become fitful.

Her face had taken on a look of pain and she had whimpered as if in fear of something. Her slender hands clutched my tunic tightly refusing to let me go.

The fire was dying down and the only thing that I could hope for was that Elladan hurried in his search for more firewood.

In all the time that I and my brother had spent hunting orcs, this was the worst circumstance that I had come across. Most victims were killed outright, some were tortured, but rape was extremely rare.

She stirred in my arms and buried her head further into my chest. My hair swept over my shoulders and fell over hers minglingwith the light locks. Her eyelids fluttered and she suddenly sat up screaming, chanting something over and over again. The chanting became more insistent as she began to rock herself. Her hands went up to her head and she began to cry.

Not knowing what to do I placed a hand on her shoulder. I was hoping that it would calm her and bring her out of her trance. Instead she turned and with raised fists began to hit my chest. I grabbed her wrists and held them in the air.

"If you lie still, it won't hurt, if you lie still it won't hurt, if you lie still it won't hurt"

She chanted over and over again. A wild look of panic and fear deeply set in her wide eyes.

Her tears ceased but she quieted, but her lips still moved.

"Tanithia, look at me"

I said sternly, hoping to rouse her. Slowly her eyes found mine and locked on. Her chest heaved and her body shook as she calmed. It took a few moments but she finally relaxed.

"I did not mean...I did not mean it. Forgive me"

My eyes closed and I gently enclosed her in my arms. I did not know what to think or say. In all truth she had scared me. I know how to heal wounds of the body but wounds of the mind were not something that I had had much contact with.

* * *

Elladan emerged from among the dark trees and approached. A huge bundle of dead wood lay in his arms and an expression of concern was etched into his features.

Without saying anything he knew not to ask about it, for his brother would discuss it with him later.

"Elladan could you be useful for once and place those on the fire"

The maiden in his arms let out a small giggle and then a heavy but relived sigh. Her eyes closed and her body once again succumbed to sleep.

"What happened?"

Elladan asked a little more forcefully than he meant to.

Elrohir bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"Her injuries go deeper than we first suspected. Much deeper"

Elladan furrowed his brow and waited for Elrohir to continue. As he listened to his brother, Elladan felt the anxiety creep up on him and almost take him forcefully. Matters of the mind were not to be taken lightly. As they well knew.

Elladan studied his twin intently. Elrohir's face was slightly more slender than his own, his eyes were the same, they held a depth which held the very key to their soul's. His normally beautiful features were twisted in a mix of confusion, concern and anxiety. It was rare that his brother became so agitated.

The events concerning the elleth had unsettled them both, but Elrohir seemed to be taking the brunt of it.

"It would seem that our plans to leave at dawn will have to be altered. We shall take our leave in an hour"

Elrohir's head snapped up to look at his brother. Eyes met and an argument was settled. They could not remain in the forest any longer than necessary.

Elladan stood and began pacing.

"We will have a problem Ro"

He stopped his pacing and stared into the now blazing fire.

"She cannot move without pain and riding will worsen it. Home is less than a half a day away if we ride with haste. But she is not able to ride at speed. Therefore, what must we do?"

"We will have to drug her"

Came Elrohir's simple reply. He disliked the idea of drugging her but it was the only way that she would be able travel at the speed necessary.

The hour passed swiftly and silently and soon it was time to wake her.

While Elladan prepared the drink that would render her unconscious, Elrohir set about waking her.

"Tanithia, it is time to wake"

She opened her eyes slowly and looked around. She did not question the early hour but confusion was there in her eyes. Elrohir just smiled gently at her.

The circles under her eyes and her flushed cheeks along with her messy hair made her look like a child, and it made their cause for waking her all the more important.

She sighed and closed her eyes.

"I think not my lady"

Elrohir chuckled.

She gave up and opened her eyes. He followed her gaze to Elladan, as he approached the two of them.

He bent down on one knee and offered the cup to her. Without a word she tried to sit up but the pain in her lower body was too much for her and she collapsed once more in Elrohir's arms.

"I cannot get up"

Elladan simply smiled at her and with one hand, lifted her head and helped her drink.

"It will get better, we promise"

Elladan said quietly as he moved the hair from her forehead. She smiled sleepily and fell into sleep.

"Well then brother, shall we depart?"

Elrohir looked up and handed Tanithia to Elladan.

"Aye, we shall depart"

Elrohir whistled and two magnificent steeds came galloping to their masters.

Quickly the two made sure that they had left no tracks behind and mounted their steeds, Elrohir mounted first and took Tanithia from Elladan.

Settling her in front of him as best he could, he set off, followed by Elladan.

They rode swiftly through the tress and reached the boarders of their home in a matter of hours. They stopped as the large archway leading to the courtyard was revealed through the bark and leaves.

Tanithia stirred but did not wake. Both twins were regretting their actions earlier. Drugging her made the trip home easier but she would be in more pain later. Her body could not have stood the pain had she been awake, and being unconscious was not much better.

Elladan shouted an elf and asked him to tell his father to meet him in the bedroom adjoining Elrohir's.

Quickly they carried Tanithia to the room, stopping for no-one.

The door was flung open by an exhausted Elladan, who looked immensely pleased to see his father.

"Welcome home, I suspect that there is a reason for you request?"

"Yes, we have found a maiden, her name is Tanithia, and she hails from Lothlorien. She has been battered and raped. The wounds have been cleaned but they must be looked at more closely. Her mind is not what it should be either, that is the cause of our early arrival"

Elrond was about to speak when Elrohir entered carrying the maiden in his arms.

Elrond nearly gasped at the sight of her. But luckily, his millennia of healing and diplomacy had allowed him to school his expression to one of indifference. Inside he felt as much rage as his sons.

Over the course of the next hour, the twins watched anxiously as their father checked and healed Tanithia's wounds.

The air was thick with the smell of altheas and lavender by the time he had finished. Both twins looked to him for re-assurance that their efforts had not been vain and their charge would live.

"She will live. Her wounds will heal in a short time, though the pain she feels will stay for a time"

He stopped and looked at his sons weary faces. Their hair lay about their shoulder in a dull mass. Their usually bright and jovial eyes were dim with exhaustion.

"You must bathe and then rest my sons. You are weary. Do not worry about..."

"How can we not?"

Elrohir interrupted, Elrond merely allowed the comment to pass.

"Do not worry about her, she will be fine. I will ask another maiden to sit with her until she wakes. Upon her awakening, she will be in much pain and I ask that you are here. She will need a familiar face"

* * *

I nodded numbly. The events of the past two days were catching up on me and fatigue was setting in andElladan looked in much the same state.

My father placed a hand on my shoulder as I left the room. I did not spare a thought for my brother as I entered my room.

The familiar smell of sandalwood hit me and my eyes swept over the décor of my room. Its cream coloured walls were soothing, and the blue velvet bed covers and drapes around the bed were merely done in my favourite colour. Silver silk cushions had been laid out on the top of the bed among the pillows.

I shrugged off my dirty cloak and carelessly let it fall to the floor before heading into my bathroom and turning the tap on the bath.

I undressed quickly, desperately trying to rid myself of the grimy clothes.

I slid into the bath and closed my eyes, very much enjoying the hot water.

My thoughts were occupied, the image of Tanithia lying there, unmoving. I had thought her dead at first glance. The bruises that marred her skin, I had seen the likes of before, but on her they were far worse. I could hardly believe the extent of her injuries.

Unconsciously, I had already cleaned my hair and washed. The water had gone cold so got out and wrapped a towel around my waist. My thoughts were too occupied for me to be able to rest so I sat in front of fire reading.

My eyes looked at the words but my head did not take them in. I had to read each page twice.

I gave up and stared at the flames for a while before giving up and dressing. My wardrobe was full of blue, there was the occasional tunic of red but most were of a royal blue colour.

I slipped on a velvet tunic and a pair of leggings. I opted for a comfortable pair of black boots and quickly fastened them.

I do not know why I was in a hurry but I felt it necessary. I braided my hair in my usual fashion and left the room. I passed Tanithia's room but stopped, turning back I felt the overwhelming urge to see how she was.

Shaking my head I entered the room to see one of the maids, Amania, sat reading a book and Tanithia was still asleep. A peaceful look on her face.

"She is fine my lord, I can assure you"

I looked at her,

"I am sure that she is, you have my gratitude Amania"

She smiled as she heard me speak her name, she did not think that I listened to things. I knew all the names of our staff. They were as important as my father. Without the work that they did the house would be in disarray.

"You are most welcome my lord. Now why don't you go and eat. She will not awaken for a while yet"

I smiled and approached the bed. She did indeed look peaceful and calm. Not thinking I bent down and kissed her forehead.

I left the room bewildered at my actions.

Dismissing my thoughts I said my goodbyes and headed towards the kitchens.

* * *

Please review! Pretty please! 


	4. Waking

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it isn't mine!!!  
  
Thanks to all those who reviewed!!! Love and hugs xxx  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
The room was silent, only the sound of Tanithia's breathing and the occasional turn of a page in the book that Elrohir held in his hand, penetrated the room.  
  
He had watched her for hours. The slow rise and fall of her chest and the flutter of her eyelids, the sporadic whimpers that came from her throat.  
  
He sat, uncomfortable in his seat but refusing to move in case of her awakening. The pale colour of his skin was testament to his need for slumber and he refused this as well. He could not rest until she had awoken.  
  
The hours passed and the midday hour came and went, but still there was no sign of movement from either occupants of the room.  
  
The door creaked and Elladan walked in, concern clearly showing on his face, but there was no sign that he disapproved of his brother. Under his brothers scrutinizing gaze he checked on their patient, who aside from a temperature, was doing well.  
  
He finished and sat in the chair opposite to Elrohir's.  
  
"You should rest Ro"  
  
Elrohir shook his head. Elladan frowned, not knowing how to deal with his brother when he was in this mood he simply sat back in his chair and waited.  
  
The dinner hour passed agonisingly slowly as both began to hope that she would wake soon.  
  
A knock sounded on the door and a maid entered with a tray laden with food.  
  
"Your father sent me with this. You really should eat you know"  
  
She looked pleadingly at them, taking pity on her Elladan rose and picked an apple from a plate. She smiled thankfully and bowed her head.  
  
"Thank you"  
  
Elrohir said quietly from his seat. His features were soft in the light of the dusk.  
  
The maid smiled at him and left them once again to the quiet.  
  
"Are you going to eat?"  
  
Elrohir stood for the first time in hours, giving his brother a pointed look he took a plate and goblet of wine and resumed his quiet watch.  
  
Elladan stood, pleased that his brother was at least eating.  
  
Elrohir stood from his chair intending to take his plate to the kitchens as he had not left the room all day. In truth he was getting frustrated with waiting. The battle between staying where he was and going to bed was raging inside of him. He was beginning to doubt that she would wake up anytime soon.  
  
Elladan observed his brother with alert eyes. They were twins and as such they shared a strong bond. He could feel what his twin felt most of the time. But at this moment he could not discern Elrohir's feelings. He could sense turmoil but other than that Elrohir was a closed book.  
  
"Elrohir if you don't sleep I'm telling Adar"  
  
Elrohir's head shot up and he almost dropped his plate where he stood.  
  
"No, don't. I'll sleep don't worry. Just don't tell adar, he'll probably drug me and put me to sleep for days"  
  
"Alright I won't tell adar. It is a good thing that atara is not here, she would have sent you to bed hours ago"  
  
Elrohir nodded, distracted. His sharp eyes had noticed a change in Tanithia's breathing. Her chest heaved as she took short breaths and her eye lids fluttered.  
  
"Elladan"  
  
He nodded towards her still sleeping figure. Taking one look at her Elladan strode towards the bed.  
  
Her temperature was soaring. Quickly he threw off the thick covers in an effort to cool her down.  
  
Elrohir placed his plate down and rushed into the bathroom for a cool cloth.  
  
When he returned Tanithia was whimpering and looked as if she was struggling against something, or somebody.  
  
"Dan move that pillow"  
  
Bracing her head Elladan removed the pillow from under her head.  
  
All of a sudden her body went still and her eyes fluttered open. With wide eyes she looked at both the twins, Elladan was stood next to her bed and Elrohir was sat beside her with the wet cloth on her forehead.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
She asked quietly, her voice hoarse.  
  
"I am Elrohir and this is Elladan"  
  
She nodded, her memory slowly returning to her.  
  
"How do I tell you apart?"  
  
Elladan grinned,  
  
"Elrohir will be the dressed in blue and I will be the one wearing any other colour"  
  
She smiled and winced as she coughed.  
  
"Where am I?"  
  
A smile slid across Elrohir's lips despite his weariness.  
  
"You are in Imladris. How do you feel?"  
  
Elladan asked. She grimaced,  
  
"I feel sick, and sore. I hurt everywhere"  
  
Elladan sat down and took her hand in his.  
  
"I am sorry, it is our fault that you are pained"  
  
"Yes, it is your fault! I cannot believe that you drugged me. Whatever the circumstance you could have asked me first!"  
  
She almost shouted, although it was clear to the twins that it was painful for her to speak. She closed her eyes,  
  
"I am sorry, I did not mean that. I simply wish to be consulted before you drug me again. Is that clear? I have had enough of being told what to do and I will not stand for it any longer"  
  
The twins grinned, she was feisty and unafraid of her own power. She surely was a warrior.  
  
"There is no need for apologies my lady"  
  
Elladan stood and retrieved a glass of water from the table. With the aid of Elrohir she drained the glass greedily.  
  
"Thank you, you have no idea how long it as been since I've had water"  
  
Her voice was clearer now and she sounded a little happier.  
  
She nodded and slowly her demeanour changed, her eyes grew misty and her features dark.  
  
"A faded vision"  
  
The words, spoken in a whisper passed her lips. Though neither knew what it meant they could guess its meaning.  
  
"You are beautiful"  
  
Her eyes remained distant despite Elladan's words, she shook her head,  
  
"Broken"  
  
A look of sorrow passed Elrohir's face.  
  
"No, you are not broken. They took your body but they did not take you heart or your mind"  
  
She smiled at him. The smile was simply one of courtesy but he was more than satisfied for now.  
  
She opened her mouth to say something but the words would not form on her lips. They had been snatched from her as a blackbird steals a jewel, they would not return. Shaking her head and blinking back tears she looked at the identical elves in front of her.  
  
They sat still under her scrutiny. Her hands came up and cradled their faces. Her slender fingers running over their soft skin.  
  
"So different. It must be horrible sometimes"  
  
Elladan cocked his head a slight smile gracing his lips. Elrohir sported a similar expression.  
  
"Do people not mistake one of you for the other?"  
  
"Of course they do"  
  
"It must bother you"  
  
She said distractedly.  
  
"Indeed, it can become tedious. But then again it can work to our advantage"  
  
She smiled at Elladan's secretive whisper.  
  
"How so?"  
  
"It is easy to deceive ones who cannot distinguish us, in fact there are very few who can. But when we do not wish to do something or one of us has played a prank we can easily avoid punishment"  
  
She grinned at his playful answer but something inside of her bade her to watch Elrohir. She had seen the emotions swirl in his eyes as she had studied him. Already she felt a connection with them, and them with her. She was draw to Elladan as a little sister would be to an older brother. But there was a connection that she could not put her finger on with Elrohir. It went deep, something in her very being seemed to recognise the thoughtful elf.  
  
She yawned and immediately found herself tucked under a light blanket. Elladan kissed her brow and left the room, leaving Elrohir alone with her.  
  
He still sat beside her, one of her hands between his larger hands in a protective gesture.  
  
"My room is next door, you need only shout. Sweet dreams my lady"  
  
She smiled sleepily at him and nodded.  
  
"Thank you"  
  
He stood and watched as her eyes closed and she fell into sleep. As he did so he felt the weariness that he had pushed aside rise up and engulf him. Silently he exited the room only to come face to face with his father and brother.  
  
Elrond smiled and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"She is sleeping?"  
  
Elrohir nodded, trying to hide his tiredness from his father.  
  
"As you should be"  
  
His sons rolled their eyes.  
  
"Has she said much since waking?"  
  
"She has spoken with us, but only about trivial things"  
  
Elladan informed him.  
  
"She is not yet ready to talk about it. But I fear she must. Whenever you speak to her watch her closely. Her behaviour, her speech, anything can tell you what a person if thinking and feeling. Now go and rest, both of you. Your mother and sister will return tomorrow and I suggest that you receive them in fair spirits"  
  
A smile slid across Elrond face at the thought of seeing his wife again. His wife and daughter had been visiting Lothlorien for the winter and it was time that Imladris once again heard the laughter of Lady Celebrian and the cheerful laughter of a child from Lady Arwen.  
  
"Aye adar, we shall do that"  
  
"Goodnight my sons"  
  
Elrond turned and journeyed to his study to meet Glorfindel, who by now was probably irritated by Elrond's lateness.  
  
Hopefully with Glorfindel's aid he could find out who this maiden was. 


	5. Cover of darkness

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!  
  
Angelhair- all is revealed- so put your inner perfectionist back- thanks  
  
Laura- sorry it took me so long to update- thanks  
  
Eowyn- *hug* oh my goddess- that is the nicest review anyone has ever left for me. Thank you so much. You've never insulted me in a nasty way and your criticism is always welcome. And yeah it was a typo- I'll get that fixed when I can bothered. Thanks again  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
My eyes struggled against the blackness of the room. Nothing but blackness and the faint light of the moon would fill them. My sighs seemed to grow to an immensity where I could no longer handle them and even then the ongoing thoughts in my mind taunted me. I fancied I could hear my heart echo in the, what seemed like, empty room. My blood coursed through my veins and lent me strength that I did not know I had.  
  
The shadows and the silence, only broken by the slither of moonlight on the ceiling above me. Many times over the hours I had lain awake had the ceiling crashed down upon me in my mind.  
  
I could feel a horrid hunger rising up inside me, wanting to scream and curse, wanting to make words fly and blood spill.  
  
I closed my eyes and the pounding and the cries increased ten fold. There was nothing to stop them.  
  
Yet in my mind I saw myself, dressed as one of the Galadhrim warriors, with my bow strapped to my back and my knives in my quiver and my sword by my side. My hair was tied back in a severe knot. I looked strong and I had known that the minute that I put that outfit on my duty had begun. I had spent hours patrolling the boarders of my home and I was well aware of the dangers that loomed there. I had foolishly allowed myself to become arrogant. I thought I could protect myself, no I did not think, I knew I could protect myself. I had trained for over a thousand years and not once had I come away from a conflict without learning something. My knowledge, it appears, is not enough.  
  
There is no place for a fool among warriors.  
  
I felt a smile creep across my cracked lips at the memory of my parents. But my smile faded soon enough and only its ghost remained behind.  
  
I had been told by many that my smile was one that could light a whole room. But, I rarely truly smiled, I was rarely in the company to do so. I was a solitary person. I did not welcome those who intruded upon me. I spent my time writing or reading or training. Some had remarked on the strict schedule that I imposed on myself, but I thrived upon it. I was never late and I was never unprepared. It is the fault of the marchwarden, Haldir had taught me well and in return I had been determined to do the best I could.  
  
Without the intention of being harmfully deceitful, I must hide myself, create an alternate persona. They know not who I am and it shall be easy to fool them. I shall not speak about that which plagues my heart and mind so much so that my eyes will not clear and I cannot sleep.  
  
The means of my humiliation shall never pass my lips. It shall not be spoken of again.  
  
Perhaps I am wrong in my thinking, but my fear is greater than my sense of right and wrong. That which was clear before is covered in shadow and will never again see the daylight.  
  
Imladris seemed like a beautiful place. And its residents only added to its beauty.  
  
I admit, I am embarrassed that they saw me in such a state and had to heal me as they did. But they would not divulge anything unless they felt it was important.  
  
There was a knock on the door beside my bed and Elrohir entered. I could only just make out his figure in the dark, but I knew it was him.  
  
I felt something inside my shy away when I saw he had no tunic on, only a pair of loose leggings. I wished him gone at that moment yet the small amount of pride that I had left refused to show my discomfort.  
  
"Are you well"  
  
His lilting voice was soothing to my ears, it engulfed me like a sheet of pure silk. It eased me a little. He still stood where he had entered, by the door. For that I was grateful. In the dark everything seemed much more sinister, despite the fact that I was a night child. The darkness used to be a blanket to me. When I was out on patrol I felt safer at night knowing that the stars would protect me. A silly childhood belief carried into adulthood, I know, but I could not let go of it.  
  
"I am well"  
  
I heard myself speak, it was not the strong voice that I had willed to speak, it was the frightful voice that had answered.  
  
I watched him leave the room and a minute later he returned with a candle which he placed on my bedside stand.  
  
I watched as he sat beside me in the chair that he had occupied for the past day or so. He looked serene in the candlelight. Serene, but beautiful and terrible. His eyes were soft but held a sparkle of quick temper and deadly initiative. He smiled at me and a warmth chased away the chill that had set in my body hours ago.  
  
"Why are you still awake?" she asked him quietly.  
  
~  
  
Elrohir had slept fitfully, his slumber deep but troubled.  
  
Images of orcs and thunder and rain had a firm hold on his mind and would not leave him. He could hear shouts and screams, the shouts of a woman.  
  
He stood helplessly as he watched unfocused images run through his mind at speed.  
  
He shot up from his bed gasping. His mind spun as he desperately tied to wipe the images from his head. Shaking his head he rose from the bed and dressed in a very loose pair of leggings since he slept in the nude.  
  
The breeze was cool as it blew softly through his room, hoping to put his thoughts to rest he opened the adjoining door to Tanithia's room. The room was dark but his eyes were keen and everything was clear.  
  
To his surprise the figure on the bed was awake. She was lay on her side with her arms tightly wrapped around a pillow. Her hair hung about her face and shoulders, shining in the moonlight that bathed the room. After retrieving a candle from his room he sat himself down in the chair in front of her.  
  
She lifted her melancholy gaze and looked at him. Her expression hardened then softened as if she had made a discovery.  
  
"Hello Elrohir"  
  
He smiled at her quiet voice,  
  
"Hello little one"  
  
She scowled at him childishly,  
  
"I am not little"  
  
"No, indeed you are not"  
  
They sat in a comfortable silence enjoying each others soothing company, neither wished to be alone.  
  
"Why are you awake?"  
  
She asked him quietly. He shook his head and asked the same question.  
  
"I...I could not sleep"  
  
His eyebrows rose,  
  
"You have not slept?"  
  
She shook her head as an elfling would when caught doing something wrong. His expression softened as he saw the wonder creep into her eyes.  
  
"Why are you doing this? Why did you not just leave me?"  
  
Her eyes looked straight ahead not wishing to look at him, she was almost afraid of the answer. Elrohir was slightly put off by her questions but kept a calm expression.  
  
"Do you wish that I had left you?"  
  
She shrugged her shoulders as best she could but did not answer.  
  
"I do not regret it. To see a warrior such as you reduced to bitter tears is a challenge I will take on gladly"  
  
She sat up leaning on one hand,  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
He lent forward in his chair and whispered,  
  
"I intend to wipe the bitter tears away and replace them with a smile. The terror in your body shall be beaten and once again you shall hold a sword in your hand"  
  
She smiled wryly,  
  
"You speak with confidence my lord. How is it you know that I am able to wield a sword?"  
  
His eyes sparkled,  
  
"Your arms, for one, they are slightly more muscular than most maidens are and you have a feisty spirit, I do not believe a maiden like you would be content to spend her days sewing"  
  
She laughed at him, pleased at his observation though she did not know why.  
  
"You are correct my lord, I am able to fight, although my sword was lost to me on the night of my capture"  
  
She trailed off into silence. Her face became hard and stoic, much to the disappointment of Elrohir.  
  
"Why do address me as a maiden, for I am no longer such"  
  
He smiled sadly but hopefully.  
  
"In our eyes you are as much of a maiden as anyone else. You were taken against your will. You gave not your consent but your screams. Is that not correct? You shall remain a maiden in our eyes until the day that you consent to a joining"  
  
Her eyes stung with tears that she refused to shed. His words had touched her deeply and she was thankful for his support. Both his and Elladan's, for it was obvious that when they spoke, the spoke for each other.  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"It still hurts, standing will be a problem I fear"  
  
"Do not worry, you will have me and my brother to help you. And I promise that under no circumstances will we make mention of your wounds or the circumstances in which you received them. I wish to make that clear to you. Trust us and we will do everything in our power to help"  
  
She smiled thankfully at him. He looked at her with nothing but the deepest concern in his eyes and she believed him, although a part of her did not, she pushed it away with force.  
  
The conversation then took a turn and the two spent the last hours of the night learning things about each other.  
  
The dawns light spread slowly over Imladris reaching two young elves that were spread out on Tanithia's bed talking. She lay with her feet resting on the headboard and her head in Elrohir's lap. Elrohir was lay across the bed in a lazy fashion, stroking her hair while she told him about her childhood, most of which was perfectly happy and somewhat parallel to his own.  
  
"But he never forgave me for it, how was I supposed to know that he didn't like spiders. But the whole city was amused by it so my hard work was not a waste..."  
  
She broke off as Elrohir burst into laughter trying to imagine his grandfather running from a spider.  
  
She sighed happily and turned over so that she was lying on her stomach. She turned her head so that she could see his face clearly. She smiled at him and held his gaze as she lightly placed a kiss on his toned stomach.  
  
"Thank you Elrohir"  
  
He smiled and stroked her cheek as she laid her head down on his stomach and closed her eyes.  
  
"Tired?"  
  
He asked cheekily.  
  
"Yes- some infernal male kept me awake all night talking"  
  
She smiled but kept her eyes closed. She moaned when he sat up.  
  
"Well, I am afraid that you cannot sleep as you have plans"  
  
He said secretively with a grin on his face, she looked at him sceptically,  
  
"I do?"  
  
"Yes, we are going to go riding"  
  
Her eyes widened and she grinned,  
  
"Really?"  
  
He nodded and she threw her arms around his neck just as Elladan walked through the door, he raised an eyebrow,  
  
"Am I interrupting something?"  
  
She turned to see him and smiled happily,  
  
"You told her didn't you?"  
  
Elladan asked his younger brother, who just grinned,  
  
"Remember Ro that we must be back to welcome naneth and Arwen back by noon or adar will have our heads"  
  
Elrohir rolled his eyes but nodded and left to dress.  
  
Within minutes Tanithia was ready, as was Elrohir, the two stood shocked at each other as they came though their doors, they were both wearing clothes of a light golden colour. Tanithia was wearing a gauzy summer dress with flowers embroidered in it and Elrohir wore a tunic with leaves upon the collar and cuffs.  
  
Tanithia took the opportunity to study the brothers once more. Elladan's eyes were so different to Elrohir's. That is where they differed so dramatically. He looked mischievous and deceptive. His eyes betrayed his choice in lifestyle, they held a guarded looked. He was ever looking for anything suspicious. He was stronger in mind than his brother. Elrohir it seemed, was quick to back down from a pointless argument to keep the peace, but Elladan was headstrong and stubborn and would fight for something if he believed in it. With Elrohir it was all in the eyes, but Elladan showed his feelings with his actions.  
  
Elladan shook his head and slid his arm around Tanithia, Elrohir did the same on her other side. And together they made their way to breakfast.  
  
Where unbeknownst to them distressing news awaited one of them. 


	6. Anger

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!

SilentBanshee- thanks for the heads up- it has been fixed.

Elven-Star-of-Gold- Thank you- I hope you'll keep reading.

Laura- I'm sorry you probably get a little annoyed at me for doing that- but never mind. And thanks that's so nice.

Eowyn- Thanks- obvious mistakes have been fixed but a few are probably still lurking. Thanks a lot- I'm glad you like to review- although your reviews sometimes make me very nervous- don't know why. 

Angelhair1- why thank you very much- that's so nice. Here's your update!

~~~~~~~~

At last the three young elves reached the dining hall. It had taken them longer than normal due to Tanithia's wounds but it was of no trouble to any of them.

Elrond sat at the head of the table with Glorfindel and Erestor, their expressions grim. They heard the laughter of the three elves and quickly schooled their expressions to ones of indifference but still allowing their kindliness to show.

Their unease increased when they saw the happiness and delight shining on Tanithia's face. She looked content to be in the safe arms of Elrond's sons, both of whom looked as content and happy as she. Their laughter and smiles filled the room with joy.

They stood before the three already sitting and bowed before taking their seats. Elladan helped Tanithia to her seat as it appeared that despite her show of strength she was in great pain. 

They sat in silence as they began eating. Tanithia was a little daunted by everything, but she had dined often with lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn and her memory put her at ease. 

The three young elves ate giving no indication of the tension in the room. Elrond sighed heavily and placed down his glass. Taking notice everybody stopped and all eyes focused on him. 

With regret his eyes found Tanithia's. 

"Tanithia, daughter of Aranir and Carathia. I have news of your family"

Her eyes held fast to his but their depths revealed nothing of her feelings. Elladan and Elrohir watched with curiosity and concern as their father told their friend news which would send most into waves of grief.

"Your mother and father, unable to cope with your presumed death and lack of a body, sailed across the sea. They felt that there was nothing left for them here"

Her eyes flickered for a moment but it was soon covered up as if nothing had been there. Her features remained as they were and she smiled,

"It matters not"

She said brightly as she stood shakily. Without a word the twins stood and were by her side. She turned and bowed her head as best she could at the three elder elves and let herself be led from the room. 

Silence once again reigned over them as they walked to the garden. Two pairs of concerned eyes watched the young maiden as she smiled brightly and held up her head with dignity and strength. 

"What are you two looking at? If you have something to say then say it but cease your stares!"

She snapped at the two surprised elves. 

Elladan sighed and lowered his hands from her waist for a moment so that he could look her in the face.

"You do not find this news distressing?"

 She shook her head and stared back at him, her features becoming sifter,

"Nay I do not. There is no use sitting and despairing that they are gone. It will not change the situation"

"You do not wish for them back?"

Elrohir asked without emotion. He found her odd; her unfeeling attitude to everything was strange to him.

"Nay, I do not wish them back. They simply did what they had to"

She tried to move forward but Elladan stood in her way, she said not a word but her expression became clouded.

"Elladan, excuse me"

"Nay, I shall not move until you confess to your thoughts, hiding them will do you no good"

"There is nothing to confess. They left and I understand"

The exasperated Elves in front of her held fast and would not let her pass.

"What is it?"

Her patience was wearing thin.

"You are being stubborn"

Elrohir remarked, hoping to ignite her anger and her feelings.

She shook her head.

"I am not being stubborn. There is nothing to discuss because there is no situation"

Forgetting her pain she pushed passed them and made her way to her room. Her mind was calm. In her heart she felt nothing. There were sparks of something but they were not big enough to gain her attention. 

She doubled over as she made her way to the bed and buried herself among the covers. The pain in her abdomen had finally become more than she could handle and if she had not made it back she would have collapsed.

Her mind drifted back to her patrol on the Lorien boarder and her resolve was strengthened. She needed nobody; she was a trained warden, one who could kill with her bare hands. No, she needed nobody. 

The news of her parents had not registered within her heart. She had known that that would be the path her parents took but she had not thought it would be so soon.

Her eyes stung with tears and she let herself weep, safe in the knowledge that she was alone.

~

"She is just stubborn"

"Nay, brother, she is not"

Elladan tried to stop his brother from following Tanithia. As a warrior Elladan had seen this behaviour many times, although the circumstances were different. He knew what to expect and in order for them to allow her to heal they had to stand back and let her behave as she felt she had to. 

But his brother was different. He had seen this kind of behaviour but his own emotions conflicted. He wished to comfort her but he knew not to. 

The two were sat in Elrohir's study. Elladan sat, perched on the end of Elrohir's desk watching him as he filled in the numerous reports that had been sent in while they had been busy.

Elrohir sat, his hair in a single braid to keep it from disturbing him. His quill danced as graceful, flowing letters made their way onto the page. His eyes were determined but distracted. He could not concentrate and he looked up with annoyance. His silvery eyes locked with the clear orbs of his brother and he sat back in his chair. 

"I cannot sit here while I know that she is in pain and solitude"

Elladan shook his head, his hands idly playing with a small inkwell.

"She does not wish for company Ro. It is best that we leave her for now"

Elrohir's eyes clouded at his brothers words but he knew he was right. 

~

Elrond walked swiftly toward Tanithia's room, he had not had chance to examine her wounds that morning and it had to be done. He quickened his pace as his sharp ears picked up the sound of a struggle from her room. He threw open the door and strode towards the bed. He looked down at the young elf, her face was covered in a thin sheen of sweat as she tossed and turned in her bed. He waited for her to wake; it did not take long for her eyes to open. 

Her eyes met his and she immediately put her guard up. He had seen her as she really was, weak, but she would not tell him what she had dreamt about. 

She sat up and adjusted the covers,

"What can I do for you my lord?"

Elrond had a feeling she would react badly to his examination and he hoped that she would submit to his intimidation techniques, it had always worked on two noisy elflings.

"I need to check your wounds"

He said simply. Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head.

"They are fine I can assure you my lord"

Elrond laughed inside but kept up a stern exterior.

"I do not need your assurance, I am the healer and I will tell you whether you are fine"

She shook her head once more,

"No, I will not be subjected to it, leave me…please"

Her tone left no room for discussion and reluctantly he left the room. He would just have to drug her food at dinner and examine her while she was unconscious. 

As Elrond left the room a maid entered to help her get dressed to meet Lady Celebrian and Lady Arwen. 

Tanithia was not allowed out of bed but Lady Celebrian would visit her, of that there was no doubt.

~

Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel and Erestor all stood in the courtyard as they awaited the approaching figures. 

Forsaking ceremony Celebrian leapt off of her horse immediately and embraced her sons as they ran to meet her. Her eyes met those of her husband over Elladan's shoulder. She could see the love, relief and turmoil in the depths of his eyes. It was something that only his wife could read. She nodded at him and laughed as their small daughter threw herself into her fathers waiting arms. She stood at knee height and so Elrond had to bend down to lift her. But he did so with a smile. Joy danced in the elf lords eyes as his daughter hugged him, laughing down his ear and kissing him. It seemed so long since he had heard that delightful laugh.

"Glory"

Arwen shouted and stretched her arms out to the seneschal that was more like an uncle to her. 

"Stor"

She bounced and without letting go of Glorfindel she reached toward Erestor who kissed her on the cheek and hugged her.

Celebrian stepped back from her sons and embraced her husband.

"It is good to have you home Cele"

Elrond whispered to her, she smiled and stepped closer to him.

"What is wrong?"

He shook his head,

"I will speak of it when Arwen is out of hearing"

The party made their way to the family chambers, laughing and joking as they went. The house seemed to rejoice as Arwen skipped through it halls singing at the top of her voice.

Elrond informed his wife about the newest addition to the household while the twins amused Arwen. 

Celebrian was sickened as she listened to her husband. She felt her heart go out to Tanithia and she left Elrond and made her way to the room where Tanithia had fallen asleep.

Celebrian opened the door and smiled at the sleeping figure. The blankets were tangled around her legs and her hands were tucked firmly underneath her head. 

Tanithia awoke as the unknown woman sat down beside her on the bed. A calming feeling ran though her body as the figure stroked her hair gently.

She lifted her head and looked at the woman. She was tall, her features were delicate but strong, her hair was a fair colour, it was neither golden nor silver. The woman looked at her with kind eyes, but those eyes held something else, a kindred thought. She was stronger than she looked.

"Indeed I am little one"

The woman spoke.

"How did you…?"

"I am the daughter of the lady Galadriel, her gift has passed to me, though it is not as strong" She said kindly.

"You are a warrior?"

Celebrian asked, smiling at the reaction of the younger elf. Tanithia sat up hurriedly.

"Yes I am...I was"

She added quietly, Celebrian frowned, she knew what the young elf was doing- she was berating herself for a mistake that could not have been foreseen. She intended to ask questions in the hope that she could push her and make Tanithia see her worth.

"What do you mean was?"

"I am no longer fit to be considered a warrior"

"Perhaps not"

Celebrian said haughtily,

"A child such as yourself should never have been given the title in the first place"

She spoke plainly and watched in secret delight as flames appeared in the girls eyes.

"I am no child. I earned my title"

"What did you do to earn it; did you pass your favours among the guard?"

Tanithia's eyes widened and she fought to keep herself under control.

"I earned my right just as anybody else did! I was a good warrior, I did my duty well"

Celebrian smirked patronisingly at the infuriated elf. 

"Is that right?! Well then, perhaps you can tell me why you are laying here snivelling and crying about something that can easily be regained"

Celebrian hissed. She smiled as she watched the emotions and realisation pass over the young elf's face. Tanithia locked eyes with the now grinning Lady of Imladris and got out of bed, the pain forgotten.

"I am a warrior"

"Yes, indeed you are"

Celebrian stepped forward laughing and embraced the shocked elf.

"I am sorry"

Celebrian said,

"There is no need to be sorry my lady. I only wish to ask one thing of you"

Celebrian stepped back and waited for her to ask it,

"I ask that you train with me, you are a warrior yourself are you not?"

"I am, it would be an honour to train with you"

The two stood grinning at each other before embracing once more. 

"You will become who you once were Tanithia, I promise"


	7. Complications

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!  
  
Galadriel evenstar- to me- it seems more likely that she would be a feisty and strong person rather than a docile maiden- after all she is Galadriel's daughter.  
  
Snow crystals- thanks- Tanithia is a little younger than the twins so that would make her about...umm I'll get back to you on that one! And- Arwen is about 7  
  
Eowyn- wow- you wrote a review without criticism- you must be losing your touch *ducks the punch* I mean that in a good way- thanks.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
That afternoon the household of Imladris saw a bright change. Tanithia seemed to have pulled herself out of her depression and was now quite happily playing in the gardens with Arwen.  
  
The two elves sat quietly playing a game of chess, although it wasn't so much a game as they made up the rules as they went.  
  
Arwen sat, a playful scowl on her face as Tanithia moved her piece. As quickly as she could Arwen moved her piece and jumped into the air with a victory cry. Laughing she fell into Tanithia's open arms.  
  
Celebrian and Elrohir stood on the balcony of the library watching the two girls below them.  
  
"Much has changed for her has it not?"  
  
Elrohir spoke first, piercing the silence that stood between them. His eyes sparkled at the joy he felt, but his heart refused to share in that joy. Celebrian smiled sadly at her son.  
  
"Nay, it has not yet changed, she is merely playing a game. A game that she will loose if she does not end it soon"  
  
Elrohir's eyes darkened, unidentifiable feelings were swimming about his head and heart and he could not make sense of anything. He was vaguely aware of Elladan's presence in the room but he did not acknowledge him.  
  
Smiling, Elladan entered the room. He had felt his brothers anguish and had figured out its meaning and cause. He worried for him; Elrohir was a scholar and therefore could be somewhat blind in life. He thirsted for knowledge but was loath to use it for his own endeavours. Whereas Elladan gained his knowledge from life, from living.  
  
Celebrian kissed her sons on the cheek before leaving the room to go and find her husband, who was no doubt locked away in his study.  
  
Elladan grinned cheekily and flung one arm over his brother's shoulders.  
  
"You should get out more Ro; I tire of seeing you in your study"  
  
Elrohir turned his head and raised an eyebrow,  
  
"Is that right?"  
  
Elladan nodded and guided his brother from the balcony.  
  
"Come, let's go and annoy our little sister, she looks as though she is having a little too much fun"  
  
The hall filled with laughter at the remark, it was well known among the residents of Imladris that the three siblings were playful enemies. No harm ever came from their banter so they were left to it.  
  
Elrohir sighed as the warm rays of the sun bathed his face when he stepped out into the garden. He took a minute to listen to his surroundings.  
  
He could hear the gentle rumble of the waterfalls and the cheerful singing of the birds. The gentle and magical sound of laughter reached his ears and like his brother he could not contain a grin.  
  
They came upon the two girls unnoticed and stood watching the two lying on the grass making flower chains. Elrohir studied Tanithia as she had studied him so many times. Her long hair had been pulled over one shoulder and had been left loose to fly in the breeze. Her slender hands were fast and graceful as she carefully split the stems of the flowers and threaded them together. She looked relaxed and happy as she bathed in the suns warmth.  
  
"Dannnnnn"  
  
Arwen screamed happily as she ran into his open arms.  
  
Seeing the twins Tanithia sat up quickly and let the chain fall from her hands, a sheepish look on her face.  
  
Elrohir smiled at her before sitting next to her. The two sat in silence as they watched Elladan play with Arwen.  
  
Without noticing their hands had entwined while their eyes were else where. Elladan grinned at the two who sat with thoughtful expressions on their faces; each looked as if they were contemplating their own deaths.  
  
He chuckled and deviously left them to each others company with the promise of sweets to Arwen.  
  
Tanithia was dragged out of her thoughts by a small white butterfly fluttering in front of her face. Smiling she tentatively held out her hand to see if it would oblige her and settle there.  
  
The butterfly did indeed oblige her, making her laugh with delight.  
  
Elrohir turned to look at her when he heard her laugh. He had delved too deep into his own complex thoughts and had only served to make himself more confused that he had been in the first place.  
  
He shook his head and lifted his hand only to find it trapped. He looked down to find his hand holding Tanithia's rather tightly. He had no memory of doing that but he was not about to complain.  
  
Sensing Elrohir's confusion she turned to him, following his gaze to his hand only to find it tangled with her own fingers.  
  
Blushing furiously she moved her hand and brought it to her chest in an embarrassed gesture.  
  
"I'm sorry; I don't know how that happened"  
  
"Do not worry; neither of us were harmed were we?"  
  
He narrowed his eyes playfully. She shook her head slowly, a smile creeping back onto her face.  
  
"No. so what brings you outside this fine day my lord?"  
  
She cheekily asked him, he rolled his eyes,  
  
"Am I only known for reading books?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
He looked at her sharply,  
  
"What?! Would you find me more agreeable if I was dishonest with you?"  
  
She grinned at him. He sat back after carefully listening to her. Perhaps honesty was best between them. But it was doubtful whether or not she would grace him with the truth. Turning to look at her he held her gaze.  
  
"Tell me then, honestly, what is it you are hiding?"  
  
Her eyes widened and she shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"Alright. We shall leave that conversation for a later date"  
  
He remarked not giving her chance to protest. He sensed her sudden need to be alone he kissed her hand and swiftly left her to her thoughts.  
  
~  
  
He truly wishes to help me? How can he help me? He was not there when it happened and he does not know what it is like to go through such a thing. Memories assault me for no reason. There is no way for me to hide from them. Last night Elladan stayed with me for a while. Over time I have become more comfortable with his presence. I find it easier to talk about what happened with Elladan, I do not feel as embarrassed with him as I do with Elrohir.  
  
Elrohir scares me. I feel as though he can see though me and into my very thoughts. It is as if my thoughts are not my own when I am with him, I feel naked, threatened, abandoned when I am with him.  
  
It is of no fault of his own and perhaps I am being foolish again.  
  
I spoke of everything with Elladan last night, with Elrohir I feel I must keep light conversation but last night with Elladan I spilled everything. He understands everything. I apologised for being such an unwise female and he hushed me. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes.  
  
He had listened to me with attentiveness, his eyes hardly leaving mine as I spoke.  
  
My life here was very different and I longed to leave the dresses behind and train once more. My hands itched to feel the cool metal of a sword.  
  
Lady Celebrian has been most gracious. She has almost taken over the role my mother used to play; she knocks on my door in the morning and makes sure that I am alright at night. The day before yesterday she took me and Arwen to the dressmakers, she deemed it necessary to supply me with a various array of beautiful dresses; both formal and practical, as well as tunics and leggings for training.  
  
Arwen is a delightful elfling; she will grow to become a beautiful and wise elf. Already her beautiful surpasses most. She reminds me of my home, she has a free spirit that makes her seem as if she would be better suited to live among the trees in Lothlorien.  
  
I miss my home and I miss my friends, even Haldir, who I have heard from Celebrian, has become somewhat drawn and closed to people. This news saddens me. He appears arrogant to those who do not know him, but I know him better than that. At heart, I would not say he is gentle but he is kind and passionate and protective, and he is one of the best friends anyone could wish for.  
  
But most of all I miss my family; my heart yearns for the gentle touch of my mother and the playful banter from my father. I never got to say good bye  
  
My eyes began to sting with tears and I felt my heart sink.  
  
There was a knock on the adjoining door to Elrohir's room.  
  
Sighing I rose from the chair I was sat in and opened it to find Elrohir, but not as I would have expected to see him.  
  
He was dressed in a tunic and leggings but over the top was a crimson robe of velvet. His dark hair had been pulled from his face in a single thick braid. The colour of his hair fit perfectly with what he was wearing. He looking imposing, like the lord he was. His sparkling pewter eyes locked with mine and for some reason I felt the urge to laugh.  
  
~  
  
"I am glad you find me amusing"  
  
"No, no I am not laughing at you. Please accept my apologies Elrohir"  
  
He grinned and laughed at her as he made his way over to her bed.  
  
"There is no need for an apology my lady. What is it you find so amusing?"  
  
His eyes followed her as she sat down beside him,  
  
"It is simply that, I have never seen you dressed so, and it shocked me a little. You look so different"  
  
"I shall take that as a compliment"  
  
She laughed and nodded. Elrohir sat up and crossed his legs and sat watching her.  
  
Her eyes found his and she looked away. She could feel the seriousness of his next question.  
  
"I do not want to. Please don't"  
  
"You must"  
  
She shook her head but resigned herself to the fact that she had no choice in the matter. She did not know what was wrong with her. She could trust him, she knew this. Yet her heart refused to let him in.  
  
"What do you wish to know?"  
  
"Everything. Tell me how you became their prisoner"  
  
She lowered her eyes and grabbed a cushion, hugging it close to her chest for comfort. In truth it was a barrier between them, she felt safer.  
  
"Alright, I shall tell you" 


	8. In her words

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it-it's not mine!!!  
  
Rogue mystique- thanks- I hope that this is to your satisfaction  
  
Eowyn- I'm sorry-kay? Anyways, it was a compliment. No- not actually 7- but she'd be the equivalent of a seven years old- I'm not actually sure what the elven equivalent is, I was gonna say about 80 or 90 years old but I'm sure that people would find something wrong with that.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and my reviewers xxx  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"I had risen late that day as the patrol the day before had been strenuous, we had encountered a band of orcs. Luckily nobody was killed, only injured. Unluckily we only managed to kill seven of the forty orcs that had attacked.  
  
I awoke to the smell of my mother cooking dinner. I could hear the birds outside and I could smell the fresh breeze as it blew though my room.  
  
My mother has...had, a love of wild flowers and she would always keep some on the table. She asked me to go and pick some more for her and I obliged. The air was clear and the sky was inviting, so I set off. As I walked my dress caught on sticks on twigs, tearing small holes into the hem, so as you can imagine I was not in one of the finest moods.  
  
I was venturing beyond the boarders so I had carried my sword with me, hidden under my cloak.  
  
As the day was coming to an end I found what I had been looking for.  
  
I knelt down beside the patch of flowers and began carefully picking them. My head was bent and I did not see the arrow that was meant for my head. It was only out of luck that it missed.  
  
I had not heard the orcs approaching, I do not understand why. With my training I should have heard them a least a mile away.  
  
My guard had been down and my mind elsewhere. I lifted my head and I felt my heart sink with panic. There were more orcs there than an entire patrol could have handled.  
  
My first instinct was to run, but that was not a viable or sensible option. The boarder guards would not have been able to handle such a number and we could not have orcs roaming freely over our lands; it would be too dangerous.  
  
So despite my fear I stood my ground and waited for them to advance.  
  
From where I was stood I could see the delight and hunger in their eyes. The fierce smell of death and decay followed them and almost made me retch.  
  
The first one attacked, he was easily killed and I moved on to the next one. I could sense them moving into a circle behind me, trapping me and I knew that there would be no way out.  
  
I thought it was better to die fighting than willingly give myself up so I kept fighting.  
  
I nearly vomited when I plunged my sword into their grotesque bodies; their thick black blood ran down my sword and onto my hand making it harder for me to use it.  
  
One of them came up behind me and before I could turn to kill him another struck me in the stomach. It was not deep but it distracted me enough to give them the upper hand in the battle. Taking the opportunity three of them descended upon me and struck me more forcefully, spilling my blood onto the ground.  
  
I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't see, my hair had fallen in front of my eyes and I couldn't see. I could hear them jeering and laughing in the background but thoughts of my mother had father and my friends lingered in the forefront of my thoughts.  
  
I thought I was going to die, I truly did, after all what would they want with me?  
  
I didn't realize what they wanted; if I had I would have killed myself before they got their chance.  
  
We walked for days, actually they walked- I was dragged. I couldn't stand up for very long. During the battle they had slashed my stomach, my chest and my legs and the wounds were not healing as they should have done.  
  
My feet were so sore, the shoes that I had worn were not meant for walking long distances in, they were for strolls and picnics and such. My hair was becoming knotted and filthy and my dress was ripped in various indecent places, showing more than I would have liked.  
  
At night when they made camp, they would tie me to a tree for the night, or whip me. I was given one cup of that fetid orc draught per day, there was no food.  
  
I had concocted a plan; they had not found the dagger that I kept strapped to my thigh. I would wait until I was alone with only a few guards. I could easily reach the dagger ad it would only take me a few moments to kill them. Once they were dead I only had to run.  
  
In order for my plan to work I would have to make sure that everything was precisely as I needed it. If only one orc was out of place I would not stand a chance.  
  
There was only one debate in my mind- would I wait for the cover of darkness or take my chances in the sunlight. It would be harder for the orcs to find me in the dark but the sun would give me more time as they did not suspect that a prisoner would attempt an escape in the daylight.  
  
I waited until nightfall a few days later to execute my plan. I had been tied to a tree as normal and there were three guards watching me. Fortunately they were more interested in watching the others so they had their backs to me. I was able to reach the dagger and cut through the rope with ease.  
  
I waited for the opportune moment and then jumped up, swiftly killing the first orc before he had chance to realise what was happening. The other two were just as easy to kill. Without a second look I ran.  
  
What I hadn't seen was the number of orcs that had spotted me and were after me. I felt dizzy and exhausted and I had to sit down. I could hear my blood pumping in my ears, deafening me and drowning out the telltale sounds of the stampeding orcs.  
  
I barely noticed when thick arms wrapped around me from behind and dragged me onto the floor, pushing me down face first.  
  
I heard one of them laugh before plunging his sword into my shoulder. I felt my body shake and I let my mind slip away. I barely remember what happened after that.  
  
I awoke the day after covered in blood. They had whipped me and slashed me with their swords, not caring what they did with me. They had tied my hands and feet together so that I couldn't move. I was draped over the shoulder of one of them; I could feel my body giving up.  
  
I was hungry tired and confused. I had been in their 'company' for fourteen days and not once had they touched me. It was only when one of the lesser ranking orcs killed the leader that they dared to touch me.  
  
That night I was taken by no less than ten orcs.  
  
After that, all thoughts of escape were dismissed, I wished only for death and that it would come swiftly, even painfully; I did not care.  
  
I lost track of the days and the nights. If there was a comfort in everything, it was the moon, every night she would watch over me. I became angry at her. She sat in the sky, as beautiful as ever and yet she watched as night after night I was violated.  
  
It hurt, but I gave up crying. They took pleasure in my pain and my tears and I was not going to give them that.  
  
I don't know why they left me. I simply woke up staring at the sky. My hands and feet had been untied and they had left me.  
  
They had left me to die.  
  
And I welcomed the prospect with open arms.  
  
Never again would I be able to walk under the trees of my home or train with my friends. My pride and my spirit has been broken.  
  
And then you...you came.  
  
I was so angry at you. I had been their prisoner for so long and then just when I am granted the one wish I had asked for, you came.  
  
In truth Elrohir, I did not wish to be saved, and I am not sure whether I can be.  
  
You looked at me with such pity and concern that it almost broke my heart.  
  
You were so kind, both of you. And although I resented you for helping me; I was thankful to be rescued by you. You showed me so much care and support even though you knew that I did not welcome you.  
  
Thank you"  
  
~  
  
Elrohir sat still, his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched.  
  
Thinking he was angered by her, Tanithia moved back from the bed and stood by the fireplace.  
  
The room was silent, except for the crackling of the fire which glowed brightly in the night air.  
  
Both occupants were deep in thought.  
  
Elrohir sat back against the headboard as he thought,  
  
She did not trust him, she told the bare minimum of the story. There was no feeling in it, no deception nor any ploy to try and win his affection through sympathy as some maidens would.  
  
She spoke plainly and simply telling only what she deemed necessary.  
  
It struck him how brave and foolish this maiden was, by her own admission. It was obvious though that her foolishness had been because of her condition at the time. He had no doubt that her malnutrition, fear, and desperation were to blame.  
  
His eyes studied her form intently. She stood with her back towards him, trying to hide her emotions, although her efforts were in vain as he could clearly read her.  
  
Her shoulders were tense and her head bowed in embarrassment.  
  
The feelings that she had stirred within him had finally solved his questions. However he would wait for her.  
  
There were more important things to do before he acknowledged his own feelings.  
  
He had spoken to Elladan about her training and it seemed that he was eager to take up the task. It would be better for her to start before she had a chance to dwell upon anything...unfavourable.  
  
While Elladan was training with her in the sword, Elrohir would be training with the bow. It had been proven that Elrohir was indeed the better archer of the two.  
  
He rose from his seat on her bed and stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. Smiling to himself he looked up at the moon from the archway in her room.  
  
He took her hand and guided her toward the archway.  
  
"Look"  
  
She shook her head but raised her eyes anyway,  
  
"What are we looking at?"  
  
He chuckled softly and stood behind her, placing his cheek next to hers,  
  
"Look at the moon"  
  
Her eyes widened and she closed them tightly. He lent forward and gently wiped away the tear that slowly made its way down her face. She took in a shaky breath and opened her eyes,  
  
"I see..."  
  
"A guardian?"  
  
Elrohir whispered to her, keeping his eyes on hers as she turned to look at him,  
  
"A guardian? What do you mean?"  
  
"I do not profess to know what you have been through nor do I know what you are feeling. But I do not believe that you are angry at the moon"  
  
He smiled at her, making her laugh through her tears,  
  
"No..."  
  
She leaned back into his embrace,  
  
"...No, I am not angry at the moon. I am angry at myself"  
  
Keeping his hands on her waist, Elrohir stepped back and moved so that he stood in front of her.  
  
"So your secret is out my lady"  
  
He jested with a grin, to which she leaned forward and grinned back,  
  
"I would be careful my lord, else I will beat you at your own game"  
  
"And what game would that be?"  
  
She didn't answer, but instead stepped back and offered her hand,  
  
"I'm hungry, care to join me for dinner?"  
  
He laughed and grabbed her hand before running out of the room with her following on his heals. 


	9. Training

Disclaimer- I own nothing- at all!!!

Rogue mystique- 'Forget your enemies but never their names' never heard that before- I like it.

Eowyn- I'm replying to a pretend review- hmm; and I consider myself sane.

Pallas Analise- thanks- I try- really I do!

StarAngel Caelum Sunsoar- OMG could you get a longer name! Thanks for that- I'm glad you like it.

X8DramaQueen8X- thanks- here's your update!

Thanks for all your reviews as always xxx

OK- here's the deal- I wrote this chapter a week ago but my computer got a virus and I lost all my work so this chapter is a bit lame- please forgive me- the next chapter will be a lot better I promise

~~~~~~~~

"Sit still"  
  
Celebrian scolded the young elf as she shifted on the stool in front of her   
dresser. Tanithia grinned as the woman braided her hair. She felt at peace   
with Celebrian, it was a kindred feeling partnered with a homely feeling.   
Celebrian smiled as she watched Tanithia, the huge grin on her face was   
enough to make anyone around her happy.  
  
The day before yesterday had been a monumental day for Tanithia; Lord Elrond   
had pronounced her fit to train. Knowing just how eager the young elf was to   
hold a sword once more, Celebrian offered to spar with her before Elladan   
arrived.  
  
The breeze made it's way down the hall passing the two women as they   
journeyed to the training grounds.  
  
Both wore light clothes made of cotton for the sun was high that morning and   
no doubt they would become very hot within a short space of time.  
  
Celebrian wore breeches of dark red and a vest to match; flexible boots were   
strapped to her calf.  
  
Tanithia wore the colours that she was most used to, breeches of light blue   
and a vest of white, black boots finished off her outfit.  
  


Not only was the day for recovering lost confidence and gaining new freedom, it would also be an opportunity to see what strength the young elf had lost.  
  
~  
  
The sound of swords clashing violently echoed round the training ground as   
the two women spared.  
  
Tanithia ducked as Celebrian spun round and attacked. Elladan watched quietly   
from the sidelines, making sure not to disturb them.  
  
He watched their graceful move as they attacked and blocked each other,   
their limbs locked in a graceful dance that he knew well himself; but he had   
been ignorant of it's deadly beauty. Perhaps the beauty of it was simply   
that it was being performed, as he had never seen it before.  
  
Every move was smooth and elegant as if well rehearsed.  
  
He saw the confidence and care that his mother fought with and he saw the   
confidence that Tanithia had. He frowned as he watched her, her stance was   
confident but her moves were somewhat hesitant, when she blocked an attack she   
became fearful and retreated instead of standing her ground. Her footwork   
betrayed everything. She was afraid of Celebrian but refused to give in to   
it.  
  
He watched as his mother blocked an attack only to be foiled when her   
opponent attacked from a different direction.  
  
With a fevered cry Celebrian blocked the attack and disarmed her, sending   
the younger elf to the floor.  
  
A grin graced both of their faces, both were happy to have been allowed the   
freedom that sparing gave them. It was rare that either of them had been   
given the chance to fight with another female; when the opportunity came   
around it was not dismissed. There was something more…feral involved when   
sparing with another female, there was an unspoken need for victory yet it   
would not come at a high cost, neither of them would allow that.  
  
In a fight, dignity was always the shield and should always be used wisely.  
  
The two females embraced and talked animatedly at they made their way over   
to where Elladan stood.  
  
Elladan was almost shocked to see his mother behaving in such a way. He had   
heard stories of her bravery and skill with a blade but had not realised   
just how magnificent she was. She looked imposing he thought, her long   
golden hair tied back in a high knot, her long sword at her hip and at her   
call.  
  
As a child Celebrian had been restless, her mother was kind and gentle with   
her but she needed something more. Her father had been more understanding, but   
he had refused to let her train with the Galadhrim, instead he taught her   
himself. He had been a ruthless teacher, pushing her to her limits and   
further. He had known what she was capable of and had worked his relationship   
with her to his full advantage, letting her get away with nothing.  
  
He taught her that with every action came a consequence.  
  
She smiled at her son before kissing him on the cheek and exiting the room.  
  
He stepped towards Tanithia who frowned and bit her lip as if disappointed   
with something.  
  
"There was a time when I would watch my make friends from the edges of a   
training room, wishing that I could be with them…"  
  
She stopped mid sentence and shook her head before jumping up and grinning   
at him.  
  
The light in her eyes was enough to tell him that she was more than ready   
for this however he did not miss the tell tale sign of pain when she lifted   
her sword arm.  
  
"Are you sure you are well enough to do this?"  
  
She nodded, knowing what he was referring to. She felt the pain, but it was   
as good as an incentive as any and she was determined to return to her   
former strength; already her arms ached and her legs were tiring. The pain   
in her abdomen was steadily increasing and the warning from Elrond was   
playing continually in her mind despite her best efforts to dismiss it.  
  
With a weary eye Elladan circled her; his eyes looked not only for weakness   
but injury. He needed an excuse to best her or to at least cut the session   
short.  
  
Taking the opportunity Elladan lunged and grabbed her wrist sending her down   
the ground and pinning her beneath him.  
  
For a moment she was back in the dark underneath an orc and terror filled   
her. She turned her head and caught sight of the dark hair that moved in the   
wind and she was filled with a playful anger.  
  
Turning, she managed to escape his grasp and she flipped and landed on her   
feet tackling him to the ground. Before he could move she clamped her knees   
around his waist and as he rolled over she kicked out and he went sprawling   
onto the floor.  
  
Elladan flipped and caught her arms swiftly, holding her forcefully to his   
chest.  
  
"So tell me, what it going on between you and Elrohir?"  
  
She stiffened and clenched her jaw, she did not feel the need to justify her   
relationship with Elrohir to anyone.  
  
"It isn't romantic if that is what you mean"  
  
She said as she spun and picked up her sword. Elladan raised an eyebrow but   
met her attack with his own blade.  
  
"Not yet"  
  
she growled; irritated at the avoidance of the question he wanted to ask.  
  
"Elladan if you have something to say then say it please"  
  
She moved swiftly and narrowly avoided Elladan' s blade.  
  
"Very well"  
  
He stopped his attack and made his way over to a bench. She sat down and   
watched as Elladan paced for a moment,  
  
"What are you are Elrohir doing?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
He snorted and shook his head.  
  
"Are you courting?"  
  
Her heart jumped within her chest and all of a sudden. She let her mind   
wander and everything became still; the sights and sounds of the training   
yard disappeared and the sound of the water reached her ears, drowning out   
the questions and the self doubt and her fear and replacing them with calm   
and tranquillity.  
  
She herself did not know what to make of her relationship with Elrohir and   
she was too scared to find out. She doubted that she would ever court someone   
or allow someone to court her ever again. After all what would stop them   
from taking advantage of her as the orcs had done. The though of letting   
somebody touch her in that way made her feel ill. At night when she lay alone she could still feel their claws all over her, touching her; if she listened closely she could still hear their taunts and their laughter.

"Tanithia?"

"Yes?"

She shook her head, unsure of the question that she was supposed to be answering.

Elladan frowned, afraid that he had said something that had brought up. Memories could be cherished or despised or angry or distressing. As he watched her battle her emotions her face became that of a child. The naked fear and vulnerability that replaced the hardened warrior showed him all he needed to know.

He kissed her forehead gently and left the room.

There she stayed, for an hour maybe two; time had no sway over her as she sat on the bench. Her thoughts took her to places that she did not wish to go to.

She watched in her mind the first archery lesson that her father gave her. The bow was nearly bigger than her and her arrows would not co-operate with her. Each arrow she shot flew off into the forest and disappeared among the silver trees.

Images of her and her mother baking in the kitchen flooded her sense; she could smell the fresh baked bread and the sweet aroma of berries from the pie that still lay hot on the table.

Her mind betrayed her; it showed her long dead images of a time when the only thing that mattered was which bow she used or what colour dress she wore.

There was no going back and she had long since given up on what could have been. The complex girl that wanted so much was gone and in her place stood only a broken warrior.

~

Lady Celebrian walked the hallways; silently watching her sons talk quietly with one another. Tanithia was supposed to be with Elrohir at that moment in time and the lady was confident of the missing elf's whereabouts. 

Silently she entered the training room and stood for a few moments; watching the young elf who had been seduced by her own mind. 

Tanithia raised her head; the scent of a musky perfume reached her and engulfed her as she sat, her eyes searched for the new presence in the room. She relaxed when she saw that it only Celebrian. 

The lady glided across the floor and joined her on the bench. 

"You missed your lesson with Elrohir"

Tanithia' s eyes widened momentarily at the mention of Elrohir' s name but she soon reigned herself in. 

"I am sorry. I had some thinking to do"

Celebrian smiled and placed her hand over Tanithia' s gently.

"And what did you have to think about?"

Tanithia looked at the older elf. She was confident that Celebrian would say nothing of the matter to any but her husband and that suited her fine, but she was somewhat embarrassed. She had not spoken of her feelings towards the rapes to anyone.

"Elladan asked me a question…about my relationship with Elrohir"

Celebrian smiled, knowing what was coming next.

"I didn't know what to say. I like him, I love him…but not in a romantic way, I don't wish to even consider what would happen if I ever allow myself to become involved that way"

"No, you are listening to your fear. Ignore it, do not let it speak. Never would an elf take advantage of you. You are free to love whom you will but do not let your fear rule your heart little one"

Tanithia smiled through tear filled eyes. Celebrian' s words had hit her to the core and had settled within the darkest corners of her heart.

"Do you think he will be angry with me?"

"Who?"

"Elladan"

Celebrian grinned and laughed,

"I know my sons well and I know that they are protective of one another, but he will not be angry with you. In fact; he is most likely glad of your honesty"

A smile slid across her lips as she considered her options.

"Do you know where Elrohir is?"

Her intention was to find him and talk to him; there was much to be discussed and she needed to talk.

"He is in the furthest archery field"

Tanithia sprang up and ran to the door without a word; she stopped mid-step and ran back to the laughing woman on the bench. She threw here arms around Celebrian' s neck and kissed her cheek,

"Thank you. Thank you so much"

She laughed before disappearing from the room in a blur. Her next destination, the furthest archery field.


	10. Courage

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!  
  
Hi everybody- uh- sorry to have kept you waiting for so long- here's the next chapter- I hope you like cos I agonised over this.  
  
Thanks for reviewing xxx

* * *

The river gurgled merrily as it ran by her and the birds sat in the trees chattering away with nothing to worry about. Her thoughts had been deep; she had been contemplating her return to the Golden wood. After talking, Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel had decided that it would be best for her to return now rather than later. She had considered returning but now that it had been said she was fearful. She was frightened of her reaction, of the reactions of her patrol and fellow wardens.  
  
Elrohir smiled softly at her troubled look and sat cross-legged beside her.  
  
Her eyes were dark with worry and her brows were furrowed. Her dress was the colour of leaves when they fell in the autumn and her hair flowed down her back in a golden river. The thought of leaving her and visiting her later crossed his mind but it was quickly forsaken, she was in need of somebody and it angered him to think that she was in pain because she refused to ask anybody for help. In her desperation for independence she pushed everybody away.  
  
She shook her head and turned to face him. Silently she studied him. He was dressed in robes again and his hair had been tied back. She frowned and moved to sit behind him. Her fingers worked nimbly to undo the thick braid. In moments his hair cascaded loosely down his back like a waterfall; shimmering as it caught the light of the sun.  
  
"I like it better this way"  
  
She answered his silent question and he replied with a laugh, a laugh that was able to lighten her heart and make her see the good in her situation.  
  
But nonetheless the fear remained locked around her heart.  
  
Elrohir's pewter eyes wandered over her face trying to discern any emotions from her: fear, pain, longing. All were present.

(

She raised her head and her eyes locked with mine. In their depths I saw what she had not the heart or courage to say.  
  
"I do not think you foolish for crying"  
  
My words startled her and her mouth opened to say something, but no words came fourth.  
  
I took the opportunity to say what I had meaning to say over the past weeks.  
  
"You are frightened, yet you know not what of. You know not what they think or feel towards you. You are not the dark soul that you think yourself, nor are you weak. The wardens and your friends will be glad to see you well. Do not despair"  
  
She closed her eyes and looked away. Her uncertainty was clear and her mind made up. My words could do no more unless she was prepared to meet them. Only she could breech the barriers around her heart.  
  
My eyes caught a flash of grief on her face but it was gone too soon for me to understand it.  
  
There was nothing I could do. I rose from the grass and began to leave.  
  
(  
  
"I had a dream. I saw in my mind their passing. My mother wept and my father walked away. I saw the sky turn black and the trees dying. I saw myself; a broken shell who has nothing nor will be anything.  
  
But I saw the light. I watched as my father embraced my mother and my mother embraced him back and in them I saw myself. I had done that. They had not touched each other in centuries and it warmed my heart a little to know that they are well.  
  
Come and sit with me."  
  
Elrohir smiled and went to sit by her.  
  
"I am so angry with them"  
  
She said quietly, ashamed to admit it. Elrohir leaned back against a tree, waiting for her to continue.  
  
"They left me. They had not even found my body before they left. Did the possibility that I may not be dead ever cross their mind? I will never see them again. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye"  
  
She closed her eyes as a tear slid down her cheek. But still, as much as he wanted, he could not move.  
  
"I used to think that I would not mind being alone in the world. That if my parents sailed west, I would be all right. I would be strong"  
  
She laughed lightly, shaking her head before raising her eyes to meet his silver eyes.  
  
"But I was wrong. I was so wrong. I was wrong about so many things. How could I have been so naïve?"  
  
Her hands gripped the folds of her dress tightly and her eyes closed as the tears began to fall.  
  
Elrohir sat, not knowing what to do. Never before had she shown any such trust in him and never had she cried. If he held her would she push him away or scream or shout. Perhaps that is what she needed, to scream and shout. Perhaps she need to cry, everybody needs to cry do they not?  
  
Her sobs came faster and harder, and her body heaved with the effort of trying to contain them.  
  
In one smooth movement he gathered her into his arms and let her cry.  
  
He rocked her slowly, soothing her, and it worked. Her sobs began to subside and she became quiet. She shifted and turned so that she was lying sideways in his arms and he held her as he would a fragile babe.  
  
She whimpered softly and burrowed her head into his chest.  
  
He pulled her closer and closed his eyes, listening to the soft gurgling of the water and the cheerful singing of the birds that flew from tree to tree.  
  
He heard her breathing slow and found her to be asleep.  
  
Her face was peaceful and calm and her body relaxed. It was a pleasant change from the restless girl that she usually was when she slept.  
  
He had started a habit of checking on her at night before he retired. He could hear the whimpers and the cries coming from her as he lay in his bed, but he knew that he could do nothing. She would not allow herself to be comforted; she would rarely allow anybody to touch her.  
  
In her quest for independence and courage she was pushing the very people who offered her comfort and safety and love to the far reaches of her heart.  
  
He sat there for over an hour, mulling over his thoughts and contemplating the situation he now found himself in.  
  
He loved her, but she did not return his affection. Only yesterday had she been angered by his offer to escort her to the dining hall. She was quick to anger, impulsive and sharp tongued. They were not a good match. But the feelings that he got were all good; there were no warnings or feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach.  
  
(  
  
(My vision swam as my eyes took in the bright light. I could hear the sound of gulls crying and the sound of weeping my vision cleared and my parents came into focus.  
  
I stood directly in front of them and watched them. My mother wore a purple velvet gown and my father wore purple robes. Purple was my favourite colour, it was also a colour that both of them hated. I had persuaded them to buy the clothes but they had never been worn, to my knowledge. They had sat in the wardrobe gathering dust.  
  
My fathers long golden hair had been tied back in his usual style, and my mother's hair hung loose around her shoulders.  
  
Their eyes were dull as they waited to board the ship that sat behind me. I couldn't hear what they were saying; their speech was silent to me. But whatever it was made my mother cry.  
  
They stepped forward and walked through me and onto the dock. Without a second look they boarded the ship and took their place.  
  
I stood and I watched my mother and father say their last farewell to Middle-Earth, and me.  
  
My heart sank and I felt as if I had been shrouded in stone. My shoulders felt heavy. I was ready to give in and cry, yet I couldn't; to do so would be cowardly.  
  
I heard my mothers voice in my head,  
  
'Trust those who give to you so freely and cherish them, for in them you will find yourself and your match'  
  
My thoughts went to Elrohir; I saw his smile and his eyes that always looked at me with strength and belief. Even though he knew what I was, a whore.  
  
My vision went blurry again and Elrohir's face came into view. I was lying down, in his arms. Why?  
  
I shook my head and willed all of my questions to the back of my mind.  
  
"Thank you"  
  
He smiled down at me and I was filled with warmth. His smile held so much and his eyes sparkled with joy.  
  
"No thanks is needed"  
  
I laughed and sat up before crawling to the riverbank.  
  
I sat there for a few moments, thinking, as I did so I felt his eyes burn into my back and I couldn't suppress a shudder.  
  
It was not pleasant, it was frightening. I had only just realised that I could trust him and my mind was pulling away. The thought of letting somebody hold me was frightening enough and I could not help but consider sickening hands in places where I did not wish them to be.  
  
Panic began to take over and I couldn't breathe. I heard Elrohir kneel behind me and move my hair from my neck. I flinched and moved away from his touch. The hurt on his face in turn hurt me and I felt awful.  
  
"Sorry. Please do not touch me"  
  
He nodded, the hurt in his eyes was quickly replaced with understanding and he moved back.  
  
(  
  
"We should return, the day is nearing its end"  
  
She nodded but stayed where she was.  
  
"May I ask you something?"  
  
He remained quiet, awaiting her question,  
  
"Has Elladan forgiven me yet?"  
  
Elrohir laughed and grinned at her, remembering her untimely appearance on the archery field.  
  
The twins had decided to hold a contest between them to cure their boredom. All had gone well and in the end all Elladan had needed was to hit the last target. He was about to let his arrow fly when Tanithia had run onto the field, making him loose his concentration and his arrow, it had flow off into the trees and had embedded it's self in a tree all of three yards away from the target.  
  
Making Elrohir the winner and making Elladan's pride deflate.   
  
"Aye, he has forgiven you, although I would refrain from speaking of it in front of Lord Glorfindel for a while"  
  
They laughed and rose from the ground, making their way back to the house for dinner.


	11. Even the strongest fall

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it isn't mine!!!  
  
Dazzler420- yes Elrohir and Elladan will be going to the Golden Woods  
  
Mademoiselle Morte- indeed it could  
  
In the Deep End- thanks- that's why I've set about writing one- personally Elrohir is my fav twin and I couldn't resist- if you know any good twin fics please tell me  
  
Rogue mystique- Aww do they not? One day someone will- lol- I had to give poor Elrohir a break from her insults- but now the breaks over- thanks  
  
EldarExilePrincess- she's trying- really she is. Thanks  
  
Hi everybody- I'm sorry for the delay yet again but I have had major writers block- but I'm back now- hopefully. Things have been a little slow to get going- things have to be established and things but after this we should be into the real story.  
  
Thanks everybody xxx

* * *

Elrohir sat down in the chair behind his desk with a heavy sigh. Earlier that morning he had asked her to come to his study and talk. He had known that she would hesitate but he had also known that she would not refuse.  
  
Despite Elladan' s reassurances he did not feel that it was wise to send her back to Lothlorien, she was not yet ready to face the judgement that she would impose on herself upon meeting her friends. It could be dangerous for her.  
  
He closed his eyes and thought back over their conversation, trying to make sense of it all,  
  
------  
  
Tanithia's footsteps echoed about the hallway as she made her way to Elrohir's study. She didn't know what he wanted to speak to her about but she knew that whatever it was serious otherwise he would have chosen to meet somewhere else with her.  
  
She knocked timidly on the large wooden door and waited for an answer. Her eyes scanned each and every mark on the wood as if frantically searching for an answer to all of her problems before it was too late.  
  
Her stomach was threatening to rebel and her head was swimming with a mixture of emotions.  
  
She shook her head and turned on her heel, deciding that perhaps he wasn't worth her time. She had gotten all of a few steps away when Elrohir caught the back of her dress.  
  
His features were soft and calming but she refused to give in, letting her anger at everything fuel her emotions and actions.  
  
Without a word he led her into his study and sat her down in the chair that faced his.  
  
She looked away, her attitude in different, and perhaps hostile in some respects.  
  
They both remained silent. Carefully, he studied everything about her. The way she sat with her body towards the window indicated that she didn't want to be there, but the slant in her body indicated that part of her did. Her eyes were hard and cold at first glance but it was easy to see the emotions that raged within her and the decisions that she was making internally. Her chest rose rapidly with each breath she took, she was frightened of something and was failing at trying to keep it at bay.  
  
He sat forward in his chair and smiled at her.  
  
"We have something that needs to be discussed before we journey to Lothlorien"  
  
She rolled her eyes and bit her lip but remained silent. He waited for her to say something but gave up,  
  
"You have to talk Tanithia, you cannot remain silent forever"  
  
Her eyes bit into him as she looked at him as if he were an orc, the contempt shining brightly in them.  
  
A wave of guilt and sadness rose in him at what he intended to do.  
  
"So you would rather live with the knowledge that you are nothing but a whore and the whole of Lothlorien will know it"  
  
Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened, but her barriers fell and her true feeling were revealed, even it was only for a short moment.  
  
Her eyes blazed with fire and she regained her attitude. She stood up swiftly, knocking the chair over. She turned to leave but was once again caught by the elf that had antagonised her.  
  
"Let me go!"  
  
She struggled against his grip as a torrent of images and memories assaulted her, she began to panic. He did not like what he was doing but it was the only way to make her see what she was doing to herself. She tried to pry his hands off of her dress, sobbing softly as she found that he was stronger than she was and he was not going to let go.  
  
"Please, please let me go let me go let me go"  
  
She pleaded with him as she tried to put as much distance between them as possible.  
  
Pushing his feeling aside, Elrohir let go of her dress and caught her hands, slowly bring her forward and moving her to a chair.  
  
"Tell me of your dreams, I have heard you cry out many times during the nights. Tell me"  
  
She shook her head and turned her face from him.  
  
He stood up, a slight smirk on his face; he knew just how to play this game. He poured two glasses of wine and made his way back to where the still seething maiden sat. She refused the glass and watched with hawk like eyes as he placed it on the table beside her. He remained silent and sipped his wine, waiting. He could see her internal battle raging, she was having a hard time trying to gather her thoughts.  
  
She could see what the logical thing to do was, but she couldn't find the words to say to him, or the courage.  
  
She closed her eyes and began,  
  
"They come back to me at night"  
  
He placed the glass down and listened to her, a frown on his face.  
  
"Who comes back to you?"  
  
"The orcs"  
  
She shuddered at the memory but continued,  
  
"I can feel their hands all over me; ripping at my dress and pulling my hair. I feel the pain as they grab my breasts and I can feel them as they take me over and over"  
  
She stopped and took a deep breath, she had started now and she knew that there was no going back,  
  
"It's cold, it's so cold. I can feel every detail. I can see everything"  
  
"What can you see?"  
  
He said softly so as not to disrupt her mood and her words. His pewter eyes were slowly turning dark as he listened and evaluated each words and each sigh that came from her in an effort to understand the real meaning behind her words.  
  
"I see...I see them coming for me. Their thick black skin, and their yellow eyes glaring at me. I watched as their nails draw blood from me with no reason than their own pleasure"  
  
He thought about her words, they were not associated with the subject that she truly wished to talk about, they were a diversion. She was not lying she was merely embellishing the minor details. She struggled to keep her composure and she dare not meet his gaze.  
  
"Tell me what you really see, what you really feel"  
  
Her eyes met his and she began to tremble, afraid of her own cowardice, of his reaction. He had called her a whore and to admit that that is how she saw herself would be to humiliate and degrade herself even further. She was staring, but no matter how many times she told herself that she was a warrior and she could face whatever event was laid in her path, she was wrong and she needed his help, but she could not admit that. A fact that Elrohir was well aware of.  
  
"I am afraid. I see my friends, I see Elladan, I see Haldir.... and I see you. I can feel your hands, ripping me apart, violating me. I know it is not you but I cannot help it, my mind cannot help it. I cannot allow myself to feel anything more you"  
  
Her eyes were far away and her voice quiet. She jerked and stood up quickly, only just realising that she had said more than she had meant to. "No. I cannot do this"  
  
"Sit"  
  
His voice was clear and authoritative, making her do as she was told. She looked like a small elfling waiting to be scolded by an angry parent.  
  
He watched with a slight smile on his face as she played nervously with the folds in her dress.  
  
"You take me for a fool Tanithia of Lorien"  
  
She looked up and shook her head, but not begin able to speak.  
  
"No, no I do not, think you a fool"  
  
She managed to say quickly. Amusement danced in Elrohir eyes as he watched her squirm, he berated himself slightly for his harsh approach.  
  
"Then why do you seek to feed me half-truths? I hear your tears at night and I am not without a heart. I would comfort you if you would let me. But you will not, that much you have made clear. You need somebody to reassure you. Lower your barriers, Tanithia, if not for me then for somebody else, but do it before it is too late and your heart is hardened"  
  
A tear ran down her cheek and she lifted her head,  
  
"You know nothing of me son of Elrond. Do not speculate about things you know nothing of"  
  
His eyes flickered and he felt a slight anger build in his chest, but he ignored it, keeping a calm front.  
  
"I know enough about you to know that you would let your pride overcome your need for a confident, for a companion, is that not true?"  
  
She looked away, seeming to study the paining that hung on the wall. It was a silhouette of a woman and a child, she didn't know why but it stirred something in her. The simplicity and elegance of it made her think.  
  
"I need no one"  
  
She said softly, her voice barely audible. Elrohir closed his eyes for a moment. His patience was wearing thin. That seemed to happen a lot where she was concerned.  
  
"Please, listen to me. You deserve be..."  
  
She turned on her hell to face him a murderous look upon her face,  
  
"I deserve nothing. I am nothing but a whore who was foolish enough to get herself captured and when I return home everybody will know what I am. I deserve nothing!"  
  
Her voice rose with each word and she faltered with every syllable as her voice began to quiver and tears gathered in her eyes.  
  
"I deserve nothing"  
  
She sobbed desperately, trying to believe her own words but the way that Elrohir was looking at her made her want to feel differently.  
  
Without thinking he stepped forward and grasped her arms. The normally composed elf had given way to the emotional elf that lurked underneath the calm exterior.  
  
Looking into her eyes he saw everything. And the conviction that he had had before melted away and he didn't know what to say.  
  
He looked her in the eye and nodded. His brows were furrowed and his jaw set as he observed her. 

Before she could make any sense of him he left the room, his blue robes swirling around his feet as he did so.  
  
The door closed and the maiden was left on her own with her thoughts, thoughts that swirled around her mind without a true purpose, wreaking havoc wherever they could.  
  
She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head on them as she rocked herself.  
  
She sobbed quietly as she began to realise that Elrohir had been right and she had been nothing but a fool. Her parents were gone and she had no one left. but she needed somebody.  
  
On the other side of the door Elrohir was struggling to rid himself of the guilt that he was feeling but it was of no use. His heart and his head were locked in a battle and there was nothing that he could do but wait.  
  
He only hoped that she would think upon his words. They were leaving within the week.


	12. Questions

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!  
  
In the Deep End- that's a shame- the twins are full of non slashy potential- you know what I mean. Thanks  
  
Dazzler420- no I won't give up with this, sorry. I had major writers block with this story  
  
Rogue mystique- thank you- here's your update.

* * *

It had taken her a long time to recover from her tears, but as she had cried she had realised her wrongs and had vowed to rectify them. Firstly, she was going to ask Elrohir for his help. Contrary to what she fooled herself and everybody else into believing, she was still in a lot of pain.

Some days she would wake up and feel as if nothing had happened, and other days she would lie awake at night in agony but she was too proud to ask for any help.  
  
Bending down was proving to be troublesome and she dreaded the thought of spending days on a horse.  
  
She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her dress and stood up. She was tired and pushed the thought of talking to Elrohir to the back of her mind, intending to speak with him the following morning.  
  
As she made her way to her room she began to feel ill; she felt drained of all her energy and she was dizzy, her vision doubled, but still she struggled on and eventually made it.  
  
She entered the bathroom and turned the tap, letting the warm water flow into the tub at a leisurely pace.  
  
Black spots appeared in her vision, making her reach out for the first thing to steady herself, which happened to be the dresser. She cringed when various items rattled and broke all over the floor, creating not only a mess but also a lot of noise, she dearly hoped that Elrohir was not in his room to hear the noise.  
  
She fell to her knees with a thump, jarring herself and sending a shooting pain through her body that resonated and pooled in her abdomen. She leaned her head on the cool wall taking deep breaths. The pain seemed to increase and all of a sudden stop, but as it did she felt warm liquid begin to flow down her thighs. Her mind didn't register it and she dismissed it quickly when she began to feel better. She waited until her vision cleared before crawling into the bathroom to turn off the tap.  
  
She was in such a hurry that she didn't notice the trail of blood that followed her. Stood up again, feeling a lot worse than before. She felt hot and sick.  
  
Another flow of liquid ran down her leg begging for her attention. Blindly her hands lifted her dress and she ran a hand down her thigh. She brought her hand up and stared at it in shock. Her hand was covered in blood, her blood.  
  
She walked backwards and into another table, knocking off the oils that were stored there in an almighty crash. She sat there among the broken bottles staring at her hand unable to do anything.  
  
---  
  
Elrohir had just finished talking to his father when he entered his room. He was relieved to be in a place where he could relax. He stripped off his outer robe and threw it uncaringly onto a nearby chair before pouring a glass of wine. He stood, drinking as he watched the birds fly about the treetops. He almost chocked when a loud crash from Tanithia' s room pulled him out of his thoughts.  
  
He threw the glass down onto the nearest surface and pulled opened the adjoining door to her room. His eyes scanned the room looking for the source of the crash. His eyes widened as he found the blood and he all but ran to the bathroom, following its trail.  
  
Images of seeing her dead flashed through his mind, unstoppable and dangerous. His heart pounded in his chest and it almost drowned out every other sound.  
  
One hand gripped the doorway while his booted feet worked to avoid the blood. He stood stock still as he looked upon her.  
  
Sweat dripped down her forehead and her chest and her eyes were wide in a mixture of pain and shock as she kept her eyes focused on her hand.  
  
"Help me"  
  
Her voice was desperate and pleading as she dragged her eyes to meet his equally as fearful as hers. He quickly gathered himself together and strode over to her. He assessed her condition and gently slid his arms underneath her to pick her up.  
  
She cried out in pain, and tried to quickly stem the flood of tears that were beginning to stream down her face.  
  
He tried to ignore her cries and focused on getting her to her bed. Her laid her down, uncaring of the blood that had already seeped into the white sheets and ran for the door.  
  
"Elladan!"  
  
His brother luckily was still in his room and having heard the urgency in his brothers voice he appeared at the door in record time.  
  
"Elladan go and get Adar and tell him that Tanithia is bleeding"  
  
Elladan wasted no time and set off at a sprint to Elrond' s study. Elrohir turned back to the elf that lay as still as she could on the bed. He could see the stain on the sheet begin to slowly spread and he couldn't help but feel his heart wrench at the thought of losing her.  
  
All of sudden she cried out and clutched her abdomen, curling her body and pulling her knees as far up as possible.  
  
He rushed into the bathroom and gathered as many towels as he could carry as well as some small washrags. He set them down at the bottom of the bed and went to sit by her, placing a cold rag on her forehead to try and cool the temperature that was steadily rising.  
  
"I have to see if I can stop the bleeding. I need to or you will die" His grey eyes pleaded with her to let him. She nodded and a huge wave of relief flooded through him.  
  
Carefully he helped her remove the dress and covered her with a blanket. Moving the blanket up he pressed down on her stomach to try and locate where the bleeding could be coming from. She screamed when he found the location; the wound in her womb had somehow been re-opened.  
  
With urgency and some regret he spread her legs and examined her. The wound had not only re-opened, it had also become bigger and deeper.  
  
The only thing he knew he could was to find the centre of the tear and stop her from losing more blood than she already had.  
  
She cried out when she felt his hands in places where she wanted no man to ever touch her again. The tears that she cried were due to the memories and fear rather than the pain which had ebbed slightly.  
  
Elrohir sat, his hands working quickly, hoping that his father would arrive soon as he could not heal her. He had neither the skill nor the strength to do so and not only would she hate him for him, but he would hate himself for betraying what little trust she had placed in him.  
  
Elrohir burst into the room Elladan and Celebrian in tow.  
  
While her husband worked, Celebrian sat at the top of the bed holding Tanithia' s hand and calming her as she began to panic.  
  
"Help me, help me, please"  
  
Tears rolled down her cheek as she closed her eyes and concentrated on the soothing voice that spoke gently to her.  
  
Elladan stood beside his brother, one arm around his younger twin. He could feel Elrohir's guilt and tension but knew that he could do naught. Elrohir eyes remained fixed on his Adar as he worked.  
  
Elrond was struggling with stopping the bleeding, there was too much blood and he couldn't see the wound clearly. But he did not stop, he did what he had to do; even it meant that she would never be able to bear a child.  
  
---  
  
Four hours later Elrohir sat with a sleeping Arwen on his lap. The small elfling had been worried about her newfound friend and had refused to go to bed until she saw her. Nobody had seen any harm in it and had allowed her to stay with Elrohir who had volunteered to watch over her.  
  
There was knock on the door and Elladan entered, an unreadable look upon his face. He sat on the bed facing his brother, taking Arwen from him and settling her in his own arms. Elrohir was brooding.  
  
"Are you sure Ro?"  
  
Elladan looked his brother in the eyes solemnly. Elrohir loved this elf, and he knew that in saying that he loved her, Elrohir would be in for a challenge, the challenge would not be easy and it was almost certain to bring him heartbreak at one point. Tanithia would not forget her ordeal so soon.  
  
Elrohir closed his eyes and took a deep breath; little did he know that he was thinking about the same thing as his brother.  
  
"Yes. I am sure Dan"  
  
Elrohir sat forward in his chair and looked at the elf lying on the bed. He smiled at her gently,  
  
"I am ready for this, I will be there for her"  
  
"But does she wish you to be there?"  
  
Elladan asked, he didn't mean to upset his brother but he had to face the reality.  
  
Elrohir sat back without looking at the retreating back of his brother and sister.  
  
She did not wish for his presence, she had made that all too clear. But in his mind he saw that way that's he had looked at him when she had asked for his help. She had needed him and more importantly she had asked for his help instead of merely accepting it.  
  
That in it's self was an achievement.  
  
"Go and sleep my son"  
  
Elrohir jerked in surprise as his fathers voice penetrated his thoughts. Elrond approached the bed, examining Tanithia before sitting where Elladan had sat not long before.  
  
"I do not understand what happened"  
  
His eyes found those of his father and he felt like an elfling again.  
  
"Unfortunately, she had ignored our instructions to stop training whenever it became painful, and this is the result. Her body was under too much stress and she re-opened the wound"  
  
Elrohir nodded,  
  
"What are you keeping from me Adar?"  
  
Elrond sighed, he did not wish to hurt his children and he knew that his son had become close to the maiden,  
  
"She will never be able to bear children"  
  
Elrond watched as his sons face fell, he was sorry.  
  
"I shall tell her tomorrow. Please Adar, I have to be the one to tell her"  
  
Elrohir pleased desperately.  
  
"Then you shall. But first, you must sleep"  
  
He said, surveying the tired elfling that sat before him.  
  
And so he did. Elrohir slept and that night he dreamt of the dead and he understood what he had failed to grasp before.


	13. Swallowing pride

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!  
  
In the Depp End- Let me know when you post it  
  
Snow crystals- thanks- don't worry you'll get your wish- after all I am a hopeless romantic  
  
Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- please review- hugs xxx

I know that nothing much happenes in this chapter- but there are some things that have to be said first- we pick the pace up in the next chapter

* * *

"Naneth! Nana!"  
  
She shouted out desperately for her mother as she ran barefoot over glass and stone. The passage ways were dark and dank, the only light source being torches that were hanging at random intervals on the walls.  
  
Her feet bled and she felt weak, but still she ran towards that voice the tormented her in her dreams.  
  
The air was so close that it was suffocating her, her chest was constricting and it was taking almost all of her energy to focus on her goal. Her dress was dirty and hung in rags, great strips had been torn and her legs were almost bare. Her hair was tangled and hung in dirty clumps, held together with blood and dirt.  
  
She was as she had appeared when the orcs had left her.  
  
The whispers became louder and she pushed herself faster, leaving barely seen footprints of gleaming blood on the floor.  
  
She stopped dead in her tracks, there was something wrong. Her mind tried desperately to sort though the fog that had settled on her mind.  
  
The walls were moving, everywhere was cut off and the walls were moving.  
  
She panicked and began to claw at the wall trying to get a grip so that she could climb, not that it would serve to do her any good.  
  
Her dress became caught in her feet and she flew back wards, landing hard on her back.  
  
All of a sudden the walls disappeared and were replaced with trees. She looked around, frightened of what would come out of them. It was once again dark, but the light of the moon above gave a little light and comfort.  
  
Her heart jumped when she heard the familier stampeed of orcs and she became aware of the cold air biting into her skin.  
  
The yellow glow of their eyes caught her off guard as they surrounded her, more and more stepped out from among the trees, each with a malicious grin of their ugly faces.  
  
Sweat began to bead on her forehead and she couldn't breathe. She tried to run but they caught her and forced her onto the hard ground, knocking her head against a rock. She struggled, kicking and screaming as hands grabbed at her dress but they wouldn't let go, it was no use. She had succeeded in injuring a few but she would pay for that when they were done with her body.  
  
She gasped, a strangled sound that forced it's way out of her throat when she heard the sound of materiel tearing and felt the cold air on her back.  
  
She didn't understand, it had never been like this before. They had never torn her dress from her body as they knew that she had no other clothes. A gentle hand lingered on the small of her back before trailing over her buttocks. She knew those hands. She cried out when the fingers dug into her skin, drawing blood. She listened and waited for what seemed like an eternity, and it finally came. In one vicious thrust everything she had fought so hard to bury rose with a vengence and a wave of nausea swept through her. Her violator bent down and whispered in her ear but before she had a chance to scream she woke.  
  
She shot up from the pillows, sweat dripping off of her body, her chest tight. It was Elrohir, he had raped her, not the orcs. Her mind cried out in confusion and anger. She didn't understand. It had felt so real, she had felt everything and she could smell everything. Her mind was playing tricks on her. Elrohir had not raped her.  
  
In the three days that she had lain in bed under Lord Elrond's orders she had done a lot of thinking. She had been angry with Elrohir for no reason. She had needed someone to blame and she had lashed out at the one elf that had shown her the love that she craved. Elladan had stayed with her for most of the time and they had discussed how she felt about everything and he had helped her take a step back and examine everything. She did want to go home, but she was letting her fear control her actions and she was elaborating everything until she could not tell life from her imagination.  
  
The complex feelings that she had for Elrohir were beginning to taunt her. She knew that she had to say something for it was affecting her relationship with him already. She had hurt him when he had asked if she would like some company only a day before, she had refused his company for that of his brother.  
  
Trying desperately not to cry she slid her legs over the bed and stood, ignoring the burning pain in her abdomen that was protesting heavily. She needed him, she couldn't stay in that room, in that bed alone.

----

As he lay in bed he could hear her soft cries, cries that were filled with pain and terror. Yet he never moved. He was not a callous elf, in fact he was one of most emotional and feeling elves that you could ever come across. Most supposed it was due to the mortal blood that flowed through his veins.  
  
He had battled with himself as her cries had escalated, he wanted so much to go and fold her within the safety of his arms, but the stubborn part of him knew that she needed time and truth be told he was still upset with her behavior the past three days. She had refused his company, preferring to sit with Elladan, but that was not all he was annoyed about. He had entered the room quietly with a tray of herbs, but had walked in a scene that he wished he hadn't. Tanithia was crying and she was in Elladan's arms. He had hoped that she would seek him for comfort but he had been wrong. Perhaps he had been wrong about many things concerning her.  
  
The scene had only served to strengthen his cause to leave her alone for a while. After speaking to his father he had decided that it was best for her recovery if she was left to think alone before anyone questioned her. No, he had spoken with her, and he would not seek her out unless she wished it.  
  
He rolled over onto his back, letting the silk covers slip down, revealing his pale and muscular chest. His dark hair, still slightly damp from bathing, flowed over the pillows. His eyes closed hoping to somehow lessen the pain that he felt as he listened to her cry.  
  
As he felt himself drift off to sleep he was jolted awake by the sound of his door opening. The room was dark but there was light enough to see the silver tear tracks on her cheeks. Her hair was messy and her nightgown crumpled.  
  
His eyes softened and knowing what she wanted from him, lifted the blanket and moved across the bed to make room for her.  
  
With somewhat stilted movements she made her way over to the bed and climbed in. Her scent invaded his senses as she did so. She burrowed her head into his bare chest and wrapped her arms around his waist.  
  
"I need you"  
  
She whispered quietly, so quiet that it was barely audible, but still he heard it as if she had shouted. He was startled by her words, he had not expected them. In took his a little time to respond to her embrace, but he did.  
  
Her heart pounded in her chest and she was struggling to stay where she was with her arms around him. She was well aware of every muscle in his body and every movement that he made, a part of her couldn't help but be on a constant alert for any sign that anyone would attack her. He moved his leg and she couldn't help but stiffen.  
  
"Shh, it's alright, I have you. I'm here"  
  
She nearly bust into tears with the relief that she felt upon hearing somebody say the words she had wanted to hear, especially from him. She already trusted Elladan but she needed to unravel the mystery that Elrohir presented her with before she could trust him as she did his brother.  
  
"When do I get to go home?"  
  
He tightened his hold on her slightly,  
  
"You wish to go home?  
  
She sighed and nodded her head,  
  
"It is ineveitable, I will have to return"  
  
"You are right. But you will not be alone"  
  
A comfortable silence drifted between the two of them for a few minitues. Both were deep in thought though neither wished to speak about it.  
  
"Are you still in pain?"  
  
He tried his best to sound objective but it did not work and his normally strong voice quivered slightly. Tanithia shifted slightly before speaking,  
  
"Only a little, it is bearable"  
  
He frowned but let her statement pass without challenge. He closed his eyes, regretful of what he was about to say but knowing that it would serve her well to be comfortable and reassured.  
  
"Tanithia, there is something that I must tell you"  
  
He paused, the strength that he felt waning with each word. He felt her body tense and her arms tightened around his wait, but she remained silent.  
  
"You lost a lot of blood, more than you should have. The wound had been torn and so was larger. The scar that will be left behind...I am sorry. You will never be able to bear children"  
  
A tear fell from her eye and onto his chest. She had known that it would be so but still, hearing the words from a healer made it seem more real to her. She did not wish to find a husband or have elflings of her own one day but not having the choice hurt her viciously. It was as if somebody had taken a knife and plunged it into her heart, twisting it to cause as much damage and pain as possible  
  
He pulled her closer, saying nothing, knowing that words would serve no purpose, nor were they needed.  
  
"I thought not. But...but it doesn't mean the end of anything does it. It doesn't matter now...nobody will want me now"  
  
She broke off as great sobs racked her body. He held her as she cried, giving her permission to cry as she wished.  
  
Her tears had caught the attention of Lord Elrond who had been on his way to her room to check on her. He had been mildly surprised to learn her whereabouts, but he was glad. If she had not accepted his help she would have faded, it had already begun, but with a little hope she would find something worthy of her attention. With a small smile he turned and left the pair to their silence.  
  
Half an hour later she laid still, her body exhausted and heavy. She let herself melt into his embrace and found herself not really caring about anything but him, and it was nice. Her head felt light and her worry had been replaced with a blissful happiness.  
  
"I will always be here"  
  
His words were quiet and she barely registered them, but she felt better for hearing them, even if it wasn't true.


	14. The first test of many

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!

Rogue mystique- he was always my favourite too- obviously- Thanks as always for such a nice review

em- hi- thanks that was so nice of you to say

Juno magic- are they- I may go back and re-edit them- thanks

I know I haven't named anybody- but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate your reviews- please review! Thanks xxx

* * *

All was quiet as the three elves journeyed through the forest. They were now into the second week of their journey to Lothlorien. Lord Elrond had been of the opinion that it would be in her best interests to journey home as soon as possible.  
  
Two weeks had passed since Tanithia had finally allowed Elrohir past the strongest of her barriers and since then she had continued to share as much as she felt she could. 

Her open relationship with Elladan was perhaps the strongest bond that she shared with anyone, this Elrohir knew, but he did not contest it as he knew how much they meant to each other.  
  
Tanithia sat stiffly on her horse. Her mind reeled with thoughts, memories and feelings, most of them unwanted and unwelcome.  
  
She thought back to the morning after she had asked Elrohir for his help,

---  
  
The sun streamed in through the sheer drapes, making the two elves in the bed stir. Elrohir was the first to wake, his eyes clearing to look at the maiden that lay in his arms. Her face was peaceful, a far cry from the distraught woman that she had been the eve before. He was pleased that he had had the privilege of seeing her as she was meant to be seen, without her guard up. Never before had he looked into her eyes and seen her true self, perhaps now she would allow him to.  
  
He watched as her eyes cleared and felt her body tense as she realised that their legs were entwined and his arms wrapped around her, more surprising for her was the discovery that she was holding him just as tightly.  
  
Blushing furiously she moved away from him although she made sure that she didn't move too far.  
  
She was uncomfortable, he could see that. But he didn't move a muscle as she moved, allowing her the time she needed to relax.  
  
He smiled at the blush that had stained her cheek and the tips of her ears and chuckled lightly, noting the way that her body relaxed when he did so.  
  
"Thank you"

He nodded and smiled at her, his eyes watching every small movement for an insight into what she feeling.  
  
She lay on the bed, her body curled up, as a child would sleep. Her eyes were soft as she looked at him.  
  
"Do you wish to eat breakfast in the dining hall or would you like to eat with me here?"  
  
She sat up, crossing her legs beneath her.  
  
"If you wish my company I shall eat here with you"  
  
The slight quiver in her voice was clear, telling him that saying those few words were a big step for her. To be alone with him was a great feat, but she had managed it nonetheless.  
  
Her eyes held a strange mix; contentment, sadness, pleasure and regret.  
  
He turned on his side, propped up on his elbow.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
She shook her head and sighed heavily,  
  
"It is nothing"  
  
He held her gaze, wordlessly telling her to yield her thoughts to him. Her fingers played nervously with her nightgown as she thought carefully.  
  
"I...I wish that...I wish that I could hold you as easily as you hold me. But I cannot reach out for you without seeing them in my mind"  
  
She blushed and closed her eyes, not wanting to see the disgust in his eyes at her confession.  
  
In truth she knew nothing of what he felt at her words. Waves of warmth flood him as he listened to her and he was overjoyed that she felt as she did.  
  
She felt the bed shift and strong arms slide around her, pulling her into a firm chest. She felt the feather light touch of his long hair against her neck and back and the whisper of his breath against her temple.  
  
Her body took a little time to relax but she did. She let her mind drift and just enjoyed the feeling of being safe and having somebody to care for her, just for a little while.  
  
"If you cannot reach out for me yourself- I will do it for you"  
  
His voice remained strong and steady despite the tender words that he knew she needed to hear. She pulled away from him and smiled. She waited for a moment before kissing his cheek and leaving the room.

---

"Are you alright?"  
  
She shook her head and looked towards a very concerned looking Elladan.  
  
"I am well. I was merely deep in thought"  
  
He grinned mischievously and raised an eyebrow. He had felt the sorrowful feelings that emanated from her and he wished to lighten her mind. It would not be wise to allow her to sink into depression while they were travelling. It would be dangerous for them as a group and it would do more harm to her.  
  
_"Get up you lazy whore!"_  
  
She gasped, barely containing a scream as a voice shouted in her ear. Elrohir looked to the elleth behind him in confusion.  
  
Her face paled and her eyes widened as if suddenly terrified by something.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
She shook head viciously, her eyes held a far away look, as if she was not really there.  
  
"I heard him, did you hear that?"  
  
Elladan, fearing the worst rode up beside her and placed his hand on her shoulder gently. She had heard something, that much was obvious. But there nothing around that they knew of. Elrohir stopped his horse and dismounted, quickly rolling out his bedroll.  
  
While he did so Elladan focused on trying to make Tanithia respond to him. He had seen warriors act as she was. She was in shock, something had triggered a memory or a feeling and she was breaking down.  
  
She was strong woman, even when she had cried she had always maintained her thoughts and she had always kept herself calm.  
  
Her hands shook and her mask fell, revealing her true emotions.  
  
Quickly Elladan dismounted and lifted her off of her horse before she could fall. Cradling her prone body in his arms he carried her over to Elrohir's bedroll and sat her down. The twins worked as one, not needing to ask one another anything. They worked in perfect unison.  
  
Elrohir wrapped a blanket around Tanithia' s shoulders as Elladan heated up an herbal tea that was commonly used to treat warriors who were in shock and couldn't pull themselves out of it.  
  
Her blue eyes were wide in terror; her face was so pale that it had a yellow tinge to it. Her skin was clammy and her body was shaking violently.  
  
Carefully Elladan poured the liquid into a cup from his pack and handled it to his twin who sat cradling their charge. He shifted her body slightly so that she was lying in his arms as an infant would, but still she made no move. He carefully tipped back her head so that she could drink while Elladan massaged her throat so that she swallowed.  
  
She awoke from her stupor with a cry, her body immediately shooting out of the arms that held her.  
  
All she could think of was the voices, she could hear them. She could feel her skin crawl as memories assaulted her.  
  
The brothers stood from the ground, knowing that Tanithia was not paying any attention to them.  
  
Her eyes darted from tree to tree, looking for them; she knew they were there. They were just hiding. They were waiting until night fell, then they would have her.  
  
She saw the twins coming towards her. But on their faces were smirks, their mouths were curled into a sneer and their eyes were black and solid. She saw demons, monsters. All of a sudden the twins manovered and caught her before she could run.  
  
She kicked and screamed, her nails scratching Elrohir's face and her hands tearing Elladan' s tunic.  
  
As one the twins sat down, Tanithia in their arms. Once sat they enclosed her in their embrace, not allowing her to move.  
  
Their quick decision was one of necessity not of want, but they had done what they thought was their best and unknowingly they had saved her life.  
  
Her body was betraying her. As the moments passed her body relaxed and a feeling of safety and warmth flooded her. In her mind the memories still played. She knew the trees, they had watched silently as she was violated. It was here that the orcs had first taken her. Even now the stench of decay and death surrounded her.  
  
A shell of ice surrounded her heart as she remembered.  
  
Her blood had been spilt by the large oak tree that their horses stood by and she had been violated by the fallen tree that sat by the side of the track.  
  
Elladan looked at his brother as he watched as an exhausted Tanithia fell slowly into dreams. Her body was still tense but she had relented to the embrace. She reminded him a child who had suffered a terrible nightmare. Her face was flushed and she eyes heavy as she tried to fight them.  
  
Elrohir looked up,  
  
"What did you put into that tea?"  
  
Elladan grimaced,  
  
"A sedative. Do you remember the time that we rode through the Redhorn Pass with Meaglein?"  
  
Elrohir nodded, his brows furrowed and his eyes guarded, he had a slight suspicion where his brother was talking the conversation.  
  
"Do you remember the attack that was launched there only sixty years earlier? Meaglein had been among the party that had been attacked; he had been taken and tortured. After the incident he recovered and by his wishes, he rejoined his patrol. Sixty years later we journeyed trough the same area. The setting triggered a reaction that we had not anticipated. He broke down, much as Tanithia has. Afterwards he recounted what he had experienced. In his mind he had watched his torture repeatedly until he could no longer cope and his mind retreated"  
  
Elladan watched the emotions flicker across Elrohir's face as he thought. Tanithia words drifted through his mind,  
  
_' I had been in their 'company' for fourteen days and not once had they touched me. It was only when one of the lesser ranking orcs killed the leader that they dared to touch me.  
  
That night I was taken by no less than ten orcs.'_  
  
He closed his eyes at the realisation, appalled at himself for not taking her words into account when he had planned their journey.  
  
"Valar Elladan. This is where she was first taken"  
  
Elladan' s eyes widened, although a part of was not surprised as the words served to reinforce his suspicions.  
  
"She told me that she had been in their company for fourteen days before they first raped her. We are twelve days from Lorien. We travel faster than orcs do, if we leave now we can be there within ten days"  
  
Elladan shook his head,  
  
"Do you think it wise to travel with her in such a condition. She may not react well to it"  
  
Elrohir's eyes turned dark and his jaw clenched, angered at his brother, though he could see sense in the decision. 

"She would not react well to waking up here either. I fear it is out only option. We must get her to Grandmother fast"  
  
With a few words that were of no consequence the two packed away their belongings and covered their track before starting on their journey once more.

---  
  
In Lothlorien the Lady stepped back from her mirror.  
  
"What have you seen?"  
  
Lord Celeborn asked as he slid his arms round his smiling wife.  
  
"She is returning to us. She has faced one of her biggest challenges, and she has passed. She let them comfort her"  
  
Lady Galadriel turned in her Lords arms and smiled up at him, a knowing look upon her face.  
  
"Her next challenge shall come when they reach the boarders. Haldir will not treat her any differently. She is changed my Lord, but she is stronger now"  
  
Celeborn smiled at his wife assurance and kissed her lightly. He hoped that Tanithia would flurish once more under her marchwarden's guidance. Haldir was a familiar figure; he was both a close friend and her instructor. He knew how far to push her and how to make her work.  
  
It would be hard and there would be times when she would wish to give in, but she would not.  
  
With help, the Lady was sure that Lady Tanithia Aranirielle would become who she once was.


	15. Lorien

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!  
  
Everybody- Thank you sooo much- I'm sorry for the delay but I just started a new job and it's making finding time to write very hard. I can't thank you enough for your reviews- they mean a lot so please leave one!  
  
Oh and do any of my anonymous reviewers want me to e-mail them a chapter when It's done? If you do just mail me or leave your address and I'll do just that!  
  
Luv, me xxx

* * *

Elladan turned his eyes from the leaf-covered path in front of him to his twin and their charge.  
  
Tanithia looked...restless. It had been three days since her breakdown and every time that she had awoken she had been hysterical. 

It had been against his better judgement, but he had decided that it was necessary to keep her sedated for the majority of the remaining trip. At night when she awoke they did not sedate her, instead she slept peacefully in between the two brothers. It seemed that sleeping in the arms of two elves was better than one. They had told her of the times when they were elflings and had slept in the bed and had taken baths together. It was no different now and none of them felt uncomfortable, which was remarkable; especially for Tanithia.  
  
As he watched as Elrohir placed his lips on her brow in a soft kiss, he felt his heart weep. He was loosing his twins. Although it would not be fair to say loosing, no, he was gaining a sister despite the fact that she could not see it.  
  
As he came to this realisation a great warmth flooded him and his thoughts were soothed and put at rest.  
  
"What do you see brother?"  
  
Elrohir lifted his head and looked at Elladan, who had now been staring at him for over half an hour and looked to be in deep thought.  
  
"Do you love her?"  
  
Elrohir eyes widened at the abrupt question and he stumbled for an answer.  
  
"I would not say that it is a passionate love, not yet. But the feelings that I harbour for her and the protective feeling that she gives me are overwhelming. I love what I have seen"  
  
Elladan nodded his head. The honestly that his brother had shown clearly had surprised him. Elrohir laughed at the expression on his twins face before turning his attention back to the journey.  
  
The day was drawing to a close and the moon was slowly making her way into the sky above them as they crossed the boarders of Lorien. As they did so a huge burden of responsibility and guilt lifted from their broad shoulders.  
  
Elrohir tightened his hold on the maiden as she stirred in his arms. He watched, as she seemed to struggle to wake up. Her eyelids fluttered and her vision finally cleared.  
  
She looked alarmed at the situation that she found herself in and tried to sit up.  
  
"'Rohir, let...me go"  
  
Her voice was hoarse but quiet as she tried to remove his arms from around her.  
  
"Put me down!"  
  
She scratched at his hand and with a yelp he let her go. The twins watched in bewilderment as her face turned pale, almost green. Her legs were shaky but she managed to make it to the side of the track where she emptied her stomach of the sedative herbs that she had ingested.  
  
Elrohir jumped down from his horse and quickly sat beside her, moving her hair out of the way while Elladan rubbed her back.  
  
She stopped for a moment; thinking that she was finished but as she sat back on her heels her stomach cramped painfully and she retched again.  
  
They watched in sympathy as horrible noises came from her throat, and even when there was nothing left, her body couldn't help but dry heave.  
  
She reached behind her and gripped Elrohir's tunic in her hand, wanting to cling to something that could get rid of the pain.  
  
After a few moments she sat back on her heels, collapsing against Elladan' s firm chest.  
  
She closed her eyes against the harsh light and the horrendous pain that was throbbing steadily in her head.  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
She flinched when the soft voice pierced her head and stabbed her head repeatedly. She vaguely understood the words and managed to nod her head before her mind went blank and she slipped into sleep.  
  
Elladan couldn't help but laugh at her as she fell into sleep as a child would. Elrohir smiled and wiped her face with a damp cloth.  
  
"She obviously feels tired"  
  
_"She is exhausted, if you hurry Haldir will meet you and escort you to the city"  
_  
They both jumped when their grandmother's voice entered their heads. Sometimes it was irritating to hear her in their heads but this time they welcomed the comforting words.  
  
"I wish she wouldn't do that"  
  
Elrohir said jokingly, masking his feelings of irritation from his grandmother. She knew what he was thinking and what he was feeling and it unsettled him. He was an intensely private person and he did not like the idea of sharing his feelings with anyone.  
  
"Come, we should be there within a half an hour"

---  
  
Lorien's marchwarden silently jumped from the high branch that he had been sat on. His cool blue eyes swept over the three that approached. He felt an odd stirring in his heart as he looked at his once valiant warden.

Her pale face was clouded in a sadness that enveloped her like a tight blanket and suffocated her. Her hair was dull and tangled and her face pale, her body was thin and weak. But he did not believe that she had become so weak. Even in sleep the power that she held was obvious. Her open eyes were glazed in sleep but were alert. No, she was still the warden that he had trained her to be.  
  
The marchwarden lifted his eyes to meet those of Elladan and bowed his head.  
  
"Elladan, long has it been since you have graced Lorien with your presence"  
  
There was no malice in Haldir 's words. In fact the two were great friends and his words were simply those of the truth. Elladan smile wryly,  
  
"Indeed Haldir, and if it was not a matter of great importance and necessity Lorien would have had to wait a little longer"  
  
Haldir chuckled lightly at Elladan' s jest before turning his eyes to the silent twin who looked dejected and uncertain as he cradled the sleeping figure in his arms.  
  
"What is her condition?"  
  
Elrohir raised his eyes and frowned  
  
"At the moment she is suffering with side effects caused by the sedatives that we had to administer"  
  
Haldir felt anger built inside him but kept it at bay as the two of them may have a good excuse.  
  
"And why did you deem it necessary to drug her?"  
  
Elladan felt his defences rise at the marchwarden s cool tone.  
  
"Without realising it, we had ventured into a clearing where she had been before. Her memories overwhelmed her and she entered a severe state of shock. When she did come out of it she became violent and unresponsive. It was not our choice Haldir, it was merely necessary"  
  
The marchwarden nodded, he did not approve of what they had done but he could see their reasoning.  
  
"Orophin, it is a pleasure to see you once again"  
  
Elladan' s clear voice greeted the warden as he made his way through the trees.  
  
"Likewise son of Elrond"  
  
Orophin replied with a smile, which fell as he looked upon his friend. He caught Haldir 's eye and refrained from asking about her.  
  
"Come, she needs to be seen by a healer and you look like you need to rest"  
  
"Haldir are you implying that we look anything but our best?"  
  
Elladan asked, feigning hurt. Haldir turned to look at them, their clothes were torn and smudged with dirt and their hair was less than tidy, even their faces had not escaped the dust.  
  
"Of course not"  
  
Elladan laughed and bid his horse to walk on.  
  
Behind him, Elrohir sat with a grave face. The banter between his brother and Haldir had angered him and his tolerance levels had given in. Beneath his fingers he could feel Tanithia' s body becoming cold and restless. Slowly she was coming round from her sleep. This scared him; he had never before had to cope with a circumstance such as this that was so close to his heart. He was relieved to know that once they were in Caras Galadhon she would be under the care of Lorien's healers.  
  
Taking care of her was weighing heavily on his heart and he could no longer distinguish his actions from his thoughts. His body betrayed him. When he felt she needed to be held, he immediately held her and when he felt she needed something, he was there for her, despite his conscious efforts to remain on the sidelines.  
  
_"Why do you seek to find answers to questions that have no effect upon you young one?"  
  
His grandmother's voice grated in his head, much to his irritation.  
  
"Elrohir, do not shut me out. You feel you cannot speak to your brother therefore you must speak with me"  
  
He sighed but resigned himself to the fact that she was right.  
  
"I cannot help but feel that I am not wanted by her"  
  
Galadriel smiled knowingly, "You cannot know ho much she needs you Elrohir. She is frightened by everything and her worry is clouding her judgement. Do not allow yourself to worry too much, be there for her and you will find your answers in time"  
_  
He shook his head and looked at the healer that stood before the healing wing. He had not noticed the final leg of their journey. The beauty of Lorien usually captured him, but not this time.  
  
"Lord Elrohir, once again it is a pleasure to see you"  
  
A tall healer approached him, a smile on her face.  
  
"Taryn, I would say the same"  
  
Elrohir's smile widened when a familiar male healer approached,  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir, it is a rare occasion to see you without having the need to heal a broken wrist or leg"  
  
"Yulion, you look taller"  
  
Elladan grinned at the healer who good-naturedly rolled his eyes.  
  
"Nay young one, you have merely grown, and into fine elves it would appear"  
  
Yulion' s eyes drifted to the elleth who still lay asleep in Elrohir arms.  
  
"A sedative?"  
  
Elrohir nodded.  
  
The healer's heart skipped a beat, knowing what unpleasant physical effects sedatives could leave behind, but also knowing what mental effects they had. The elleth had been through much and to place her under sleep was a dangerous thing. But like Haldir he knew that they had been left with little choice.  
  
He took her from the worried twins and carried her into the room where already herbs and the like had already been set up.  
  
Elladan watched with uncertainly, his brother's reaction to the healer ministrations. They had known that her physical injuries may had been jarred but they had not considered that she would have to be subjected to what was in her mind, a violation. They thanked the Valar that she was asleep; if she had been awake she would surely have reacted very badly.  
  
"Do not crowd her"  
  
Haldir' s strong voice startled them both from their thoughts. He moved and stood between them,  
  
"First and foremost, she is a warden. She is strong. What she needs is somebody to guide her. To look after her is simply going to allow her to thrive within her depression. It will do her no favours. Push her and do not relent. She will be afraid but she should be. Do this and she will heal well"?  
  
Elrohir cast a dark look at the marchwarden but said nothing.  
  
"I am not being callous Elrohir, I am being truthful. I have never dealt with rape but I have dealt with wardens who have lost an important battle with themselves because others have allowed them to stagnate in their own feelings. It is not enough to tell her that you love her, show her"  
  
Haldir inclined his head before leaving them to their thoughts.  
  
"He is right Ro, we can't let her go, not now that she has come so far"  
  
Elladan spoke with a confidence that Elrohir envied.  
  
"Indeed, Haldir is correct. Allow her to weep but do not allow her to deceive you"  
  
The two spun round to face their grandfather. Lord Celeborn smiled as the two elflings embraced him heartily.  
  
"Long is it since I have seen you. Tell me, how do you fair?"  
  
They sighed heavily, tiredness taking them over. Lord Celeborn laughed, before escorting them out of the room amid their protests.  
  
"She will be fine, let her sleep in peace. She will feel the winds of her home and she will find comfort"  
  
Elrohir cast one look at the prone body on the large bed before allowing his grandfather to lead him towards his room.  
  
Yulion stood beside Tanithia' s bed, his worry clear and unnerving. All was not as it should be.  
  
She was fading.


	16. Confessions

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!

Hi everybody- I'm sorry that it's been so long since I updated but work is just getting in the way of everything.

Anyways. I can't thank you enough for leaving a review, it really makes a difference. I'm sorry I'm not replying individually but it's 1am and I'm knackered. Please, please, please leave a review and let me know how it's going.

Due to lack of time and writers block this chapter is not what I would normally have posted, but for now this is as good as it's gonna get.

This chapter doesn't appear to be important, but there are things in this chapter that will have an impact on the rest of the story.

* * *

She sat on the wide ledge of her balcony, enjoying the calm simplicity of the stars that shone above her and the refreshing fragrance of the night. 

Her mind however, was not as still and calm as the night. She was in turmoil. She was fading.

She could feel her body giving into the rest and quiet that was beckoning to her, it was promising peace and safety, something which she knew that she would never get while she remained in Middle-Earth.

But she could also feel an unquenchable thirst within her that was bidding her to once again take up her sword and find her place again; she could live and mend her broken heart.

_I_

Haldir smiled gently as he looked upon the sight of one of his youngest wardens and friends. Her damp hair clung to her back in wet tendrils that seemed to have a life a life of their own and her eyes shone with a depth of feeling that he himself had rarely experienced.

Her legs were drawn up to her chest in a defensive position; a position that screamed of her wish for privacy but it also spoke of her need for someone's closeness.

Uncrossing his arms he made his way over to the still girl. She made no move to acknowledge him; she was lost within thoughts.

His fingers reached out and lightly touched her hair, his fingertips grazing her face as he did so.

"I do not wish to be here"

He nodded and pulled her to his chest. His thoughts were just as confused as hers were and his feeling were just as mixed.

"Never before have I allowed my wardens to wallow within the depths of their feelings, especially when I know that part of the problem can be solved by allowing them to do something that they enjoy and will challenge their minds. And you are in desperate need of a challenge are you not?"

She pulled away from him, her eyes wide with an innocence that she did not think she could possibly possess any more.

Haldir arched an eyebrow and smirked at the hopeful elleth.

Her smile fell as a realisation dawned on her and she shook her head.

"I cannot. He will not let me...and I cannot face them"

Haldir repressed the strong urge to roll his eyes.

"Lord Elrohir has no right of charge. As your parents have sailed the responsibly of your welfare has fallen into your own hands. You belong to no one. As your friend I am taking right of charge of your well being until you are once again capable and confident with your life"

She stood up quickly, anger taking over her.

"I do not care what you think is best for me Haldir, or who has the pity to take charge of my welfare. Just leave me alone, I can take care of myself"

A grin made its way over Haldir's stern face,

"It would appear that I have a talent for angering you.

She immediately calmed and sat down, her head in her hands.

It appeared that she was crying for her shoulders shook quite violently. But soon small giggles could be heard coming from her throat.

"What may I ask, is so funny?"

She lifted her head and let him see the tears of laughter than ran down her face.

The marchwarden shook his head and chuckled softly.

"I shall see you tomorrow morning at dawn on the training grounds. Do not be late"

Her laughter faded and she nodded sombrely.

She was ready to train with her fellow warden once again. She needed to be treated as one of the guard and an equal.

Seeing the look on her face Haldir stepped forward and pulled her into his arms once again.

They seemed to stand there forever until he heard her breathing slow.

Finally he looked down at her, a smile sliding over his lips as he did so.

Her head lay against his chest and she had fallen asleep. Her chest rose with each breath she took and it could almost be supposed that her slumber was peaceful. But her expression said otherwise.

Her brow was furrowed and her lips set in a firm line. Her eyes were glazed but there no sense of peace coming from her.

With a sigh Haldir lifted her into his arms and took her into her bedroom.

As he did so he could not help but notice how thin she had become. Every bone in her body had become pronounced and he could feel each and every rib. Although it worried him he knew that he had to be careful or she could withdraw from him and everybody else.

As marchwarden he was responsible for her, but his feelings were not ones of duty.

After making sure that she was safe in bed he left her talan to seek out the sons of Elrond.

_I_

The light of the dawn found her stood high upon a hill that stood above the training ground that had once been a major part of her daily life.

Cold sweat trickled down the back of her neck as she surveyed the figure's below.

Her fingers tightened on the tree that she was holding onto, as she was afraid that her legs would give in.

She looked closer and found the figures of Elladan and Elrohir. Elrohir stood watching his brother spar with Orophin, one of Haldir's brothers.

Her eyes drifted over Elrohir. His tall lithe figure was beautiful to her. He had removed his tunic and had opted to train wearing only a pair of breeches. His body shimmed with a thin sheen of sweat and his long dark hair had been tied back in a thick tail so that it did not get in the way.

He was not as broad as his brother; his body was slender but toned. The small amount of the blood of men that ran through his veins was more obvious when he stood next to a Lorien elf.

"Are you going to stand there all day?"

She jumped, startled by the smooth and familiar vice from behind her.

Her eyes widened and a great relief flooded her at the sight of her closet childhood friend.

"Rumil...what...?"

He laughed softly and stepped forward to envelop her in the safety of his arms.

Content, she closed her eyes and leaned into his arms. She smiled and sighed and she nuzzled her face into the cool fabric of his tunic.

"What are you doing standing on a hill alone?"

"I am...reflecting"

He smiled at her and drew back,

"You are procrastinating"

She nodded and grinned sheepishly.

"Come, you have an appointment with Haldir, and you would not wish to be late would you?"

Rumil shook his head at the poor elleth who stood rooted to the spot where she stood. He could see the small beads of sweat that were quickly gathering on her forehead and he felt his heart go out to her.

However he knew that she would not respond well to obvious concern and so kept his features stoic.

"Come"

Her eyes narrowed but she drew herself up and grasped his offered arm.

As they made their way down the step steps a sense of calm and tranquilly came over her. She could feel eyes watching her, it was both a familiar and slightly uncomfortable feeling but it was not wholly unpleasant.

There was no malice in anybody's eyes as they looked at their comrade. The only thing that seemed different about her was her lack of confidence. It showed in her stance and her reluctance to hold anybody's gaze.

Elrohir watched with concern and admiration as he watched the two figures descend. Tanithia' s hands clutched Rumil's arms. He could see the pale colour of her skin and the dullness of her hair; the evidence of her fading was all too noticeable.

His eyes caught hers and she gave a small nod, letting him know that's he was all right. It was not what he had wanted to hear, for it was a lie. But it seemed that it was all he was going to receive.

_I_

Tanithia swung her blade into the air letting it fall down naturally and hit the blade of her opponent.

Haldir stepped forward and easily blocked her attack with the minimum amount of effort. His sharp eyes watching and calculating every movement.

Her eyes were blazing with a fire that he had never seen her possess and her face had taken on an almost manic expression.

Her feet moved and her attack became more aggressive and heated as the minutes past and their blades fell.

Without warning a wave of intense anger flooded her, overwhelming her and overtaking her senses.

Her blade moved with speed and precision, almost knocking her opponent to the ground as he moved to dodge her fierce blows.

The sound of metal against metal and laboured breathing filled the grove as the two battled it out; one in blind panic and one in startled defence.

Feet moved with quick decisions as each attacked in unison, neither missing a beat.

Sweat poured down Haldir's back, and his muscles were beginning to burn. His mind was sharp but his willingness to participate in what seemed, to him, a barbaric and cruel fight. For that is what it had become. There was no banter between the two, there was no communication at all.

His eyes watched every movement carefully, taking in every detail, the way she held her sword and the way that she moved her feet.

Finally, she began to tire. Her body was becoming slumped and her hands sore. But she would not give up.

Taking advantage of her sudden weakness, Haldir stepped forward and with one fast movement disarmed her, startling her and scaring her.

She watched with dismay as her sword flew across the ground, coming to rest beneath a large tree. She was trapped, there was no way out. The only thing that she could see at that time was the imposing figure of somebody who could have sliced her in two if he so pleased.

Her wide eyes darted from the sword on the ground to the elf in front of her. Despite her mind wanting run she found her body frozen in fear.

Her feet moved backwards, tripping her and making her fall to the ground with a hard thump.

Haldir on the other hand had a calm head on his shoulders. As always the marchwarden knew how to handle himself in a situation such as this, though he had never experienced anything like it.

She drew her body up and took a deep breath as her mind began to return to her. Her heartbeat calmed and her eyes returned to normal, though they retained some of the anger that she had felt.

"I do not know what you have been told marchwarden but I will not be used as a pawn in anybody's game"

Haldir looked at her in confusion,

"What game may I ask are you being used in?"

She snorted and shook her head in anger and disbelief. She walked up to him and looked him the eye.

"And now you would deny it, to my face. I know what it is that you an Elrohir are doing. You both want to nurse me back to health. You both wish to say that you have healed me and have restored me back to the person that I was before I was captured!"

Concern and pain were both evident on the marchwarden features but he showed no move to go to her and comfort her.

She placed her head in her hands and shook her head, trying to stop the tears from falling.

"I am not longer the person that I was, and I never shall be. I have seen to much, felt too much and I refuse to be put back into a place where I am expected to remain naïve about whom I am fighting"

Her voice rose in volume and intensity so much so that the other elves could hear them. Elrohir turned in the direction of her voice and followed it, almost. Elladan caught his arm and held him, knowing full well that if he allowed his brother to interrupt Tanithia they would never know how she truly felt.

Her voice echoed around the trees as she shouted the one thing that she been so afraid to say,

"I was raped, is that what you wanted to hear?And now I am fading. I no longer wish to remain in Middle-Earth"

Elrohir closed his eyes against the feelings of hurt that washed over him.He did not see the distraught maiden emerge from the private clearing, her face was calm, but her eyes betrayed her.

She caught Elladan' s gaze and nodded sadly as an understanding passed between them.

She truly did not wish to stay, and he would not stop her.


	17. Confusion

Disclaimer- I own nothing- absolutely nothing

Michelleb102- thanks- I'm glad you like it. She will overcome her demons...one way or another.

Galadriel evenstar- I know- I'm evil- I can't help it.

Lady Anck-su-namun- Hmm, you'll just have to wait and see won't you.

Elemmire Lomion- We're all rooting for Elrohir- thanks.

Leggylover4ever- I never said she was going to give in and Elrohir certainly won't.

Lea- hi- thank you that's so kind of you to say.

Ciel-Undomiel- I know, I know; I'm not gonna tell you that

Daeomae- thanks- here's you update

* * *

"Why do you run?" 

Tanithia stopped at the sound of Lord Celeborn's voice but did not turn to meet him.

"I run because there is nothing more to say"

Lord Celeborn smiled and clasped his hands before him as he looked at the dishevelled elleth before him.

"That is where you are wrong. There is much still be said and much still to be felt before you can truly ease your mind"

She turned to meet him, her eyes weary,

"And what is it my lord, that you think I need to settle?"

The words poured out before she could catch them and she was mortified at her blatant disrespect of her Lord and leader. Celeborn on the other hand was amused, his lips curling into a smirk and his eyes dancing with delight at her frustration over something so trivial.

"You have not yet made your peace with the world, or those who dwell within the depths of your heart. Do not shun them and you will find what it is you are really looking for"

She arched an eyebrow, looking sceptically at him.

"You speak as if you know something that I do not my lord"

"Perhaps I do"

Before she could answer Lord Celeborn had already left her presence, leaving her alone once again.

Shaking her head she stood in that same spot, frozen as she thought. Finally, she came to a decision. No matter how hard it would be, she would go back to her parent's home.

She had already been informed that their talan remained, as it had been when her parents had departed. As strange as it sounded, she wanted to go and see what was left. She wanted to know what was left of her previous life, maybe then she would understand.

She took a deep breath and fixed her eyes on the path before her, letting her feet walk the path that they had walked for so long.

The smell of freshly baked bread reached her nose and the sound of her mothers voice reached her ears, though it was only in memory. Listening more closely the only sound that she could hear was the gentle singing of the birds.

She raised her eyes and looked at the staircase before her in apprehension. There was nothing to stop her from running.

The stairs were endless; her feet aching as she slowly reached the top. She wasn't sure whether what she was doing was a wise idea, but it was all that she could think about. It had invaded every thought and it could not be banished.

With trembling fingers she pushed open the door, stepping back to allow herself a little time to gather her thoughts.

The door swung open to reveal an eerily familiar room. It was neat and tidy, as it had always been.

The books that she had fingered through when she was only knee high still stood on their shelves, waiting for somebody to come and pick them up.

The vase that stood on the table in the kitchen was empty, had it been empty since the day of her disappearance?

A half empty glass sat on the small table beside her mothers chair, along with discarded papers and other small object that were of no importance.

Sighing heavily she ran her hands over the tops of the furniture and the drapes, remembering her life as it had been and watching the ghosts of her past play out their day by activities.

She moved towards her parent's empty bedroom with care, not knowing what it was that she was feeling.

The bed was empty and vast. Not even an old blanket lay discarded over the top. The old silken pillows lay at the top of the bed and the warm blankets that used to lye in disarray were gone.

Her father's once full desk sat empty and disused.

The wardrobes of clothes that she had admired and tried her best to ruin to mud and sticky sweets were gone; they were empty of everything.

Great sobs wracked her body as she walked around the silent room, disturbing dust. Her thoughts turned from the empty room to her own predicament.

Was she doing the right thing? Had she chosen well or was she simply taking the easy way out. There was nothing that she could do now.

She couldn't stand it- it was killing her, closing in around her. Turning around she fled from the room and ran out of the house. She didn't stop running until she had closed her own front door and even then she could feel her legs wanting to run.

She felt the heat in her body rise to boiling point and the feelings of impatience in her limbs increase ten fold. Her hands shook with the effort of keeping still and her legs hurt as they cried out to move. But her mind was not listening.

Inwardly she was crumbling.

Her thoughts whirled at uncontrollable speeds from Haldir, to patrol and to Elrohir, and then finally to the look in Elladan's eyes as he had caught her gaze.

She had seen the acceptance in the depths of his soul as he had silently told her that he would be by her side until the end.

And she didn't understand.

With her all heart she had wanted to leave Middle-Earth, but the look in Elladan's eyes had frightened her. She did not wish to hurt anybody. And she now knew that if she were to pass from Arda she would hurt Elrohir, more so than she would ever wish.

Trying to calm herself she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to think clearly. But the pictures in her head were blurred and unclear and it only made her feel worse.

Shaking her head she opened her eyes and lazily looked over the items in her bedroom. Her bedroom was not small but it was not huge either, it was comfortable. Near the balcony stood a large bed that was covered in red silk sheets and opposite the bed stood two very large bookshelves. Her eyes fell on her most prized possessions: a small book and a painting.

The small leather bound book had been a gift from her mother when she had reached her majority. The book held poems that her mother had written at the time of her birth, such tender words and loving meanings. With it lay a small painting of her and her father. She remembered that day clearly; she could still smell the fresh grass and the flowers, she could still feel the protective feeling that her fathers arms gave her as he helped her draw her first bow. Even the musky scent that her father used to wear still seemed to surround her whenever she looked at it.

Something inside her snapped and she leapt up off the bed, punching the large straw filled bag that hung from her ceiling with an iron fist.

Her hair tumbled down in messy strands as her body worked to relieve her intense frustration.

Soon her knuckles were bleeding and her arms ached, but it did nothing to stop her, instead she only worked harder.

Her body was in pain and her mind was worse still. Finally her body had tired itself out and she fell heavily against the bag, clinging to it, partly to keep herself standing and partly because she needed to cling to something that was real and that wouldn't leave her.

Her mid whirled and soon her body were wracking with sobs that she couldn't contain.

"I had thought that we had lost you"

She lifted her head to meet the calm, sombre eyes of Elladan. She shook her head, not able to speak for fear of letting forth a torrent of emotion.

He uncrossed his arms and sighed heavily. His hands running through his hair and down the grey fabric of his tunic before taking a few small steps toward her.

"My brother has decided that he must leave. Although it pains him deeply to know that he will not be here to see you breathe your last, it would harm him more to be here. And as selfish as it may seem, I cannot loose my brother to grief"

His shoulders slumped and his voice sounded vulnerable as he thought about the possibility of his brother fading.

She shook her head and stood up wearily.

"I do not want him to suffer. But I can no longer remain here. Lorien is no longer where my heart dwells"

A small spark of hope sparked in Elladan' s heart and he felt a strange desperation to help her.

"And what of Imladris? Does Imladris suit your heart? For if it does you would be a welcome guest"

Standing up Tanithia made her way across the floor to stand before the elven lord. She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I feel like I'm going round in circles, talking about everything, but never getting anywhere. I tire off it Elladan. I want to lye down and close my eyes, and never have to open them again. Is that too much to ask?"

"Yes, yes it is"

Elladan drew back, angered at her ignorance.

"My brother loves you. He loves you more than he has ever loved anybody, and you are going to kill him if you do this. You are a coward, you say that you are willing to fight but you are not. You would gladly walk away from this fight, leaving a grieving elf and friends that love and care for you. Everybody but you can see it, and perhaps it is time for you to take a look at what you are doing and why you are doing it"

She fought hard to stay silent, knowing that it would only hurt him and make trouble for herself.

Fighting with herself she sat down in the floor.

She was tired, her body felt heavy and it took almost all of her strength to keep her eyes open.

---

She felt the air shift and a cold sheet of ice envelop her. A haze appeared in her vision, obscuring her view. The sound of screaming and jeering reached her ears and deadly fingers wrapped themselves around her heart.  
  
Her vision cleared and the sight of herself lying on the ground, a large orc towering above her assaulted her, forcing the air out of her lungs. She watched in terror as the orc raised a vicious looking sword.

Seconds passed as hours and she watched as the blade cut along her bare leg in a swift motion. As she watched she felt a searing hot pain in her thigh. Looking down she saw her blood begin to trickle down her leg.  
  
She felt her ribs crack as an unseen force kicked her in the chest, pushing her viciously to the ground. Closing her eyes against the pain she felt her lips captured and a tongue thrust into her mouth, bruising her lips.  
  
Her thoughts spun and somewhere it registered that this was not an orc and this had not happened.

Opening her eyes she came face to face with the one whom she feared the most.  
  
She began to struggle, kicking and screaming, but he was bigger than she was and could easily overpower her, his limbs covering her and pinning her down.

She couldn't breathe, he was suffocating her. His tongue delved into her mouth while his hands struggled with her clothes, making their way into her shirt. His cruel fingers bruising her skin as they went.

She felt his fingers dig into her, making her bleed. His hand left her breast and began to undo the ties on her breeches.

At that moment, she went limp, letting her body collapse and her mind freeze.

From then everything seemed to move at an impossibly slow speed. She felt every touch and every small bit of pain. She felt him raise up from her body and plunge into her with a malicious and brutal violence.

A feeling of intense panic flowed through her, there was nothing that she could do. But no matter what she couldn't let him do this to her, not again.

The same words haunted her, again and again as she lay still underneath him, no longer fighting the tears that had gathered in her eyes.

He would go away, it would all be alright. No one would ever know. She would be gone soon and there would be no cause for angering anybody. He would go away, it would all be alright.

His grey eyes were taunting her and his name haunting her. His name echoed around her mind...Elrohir.

Before she could scream she felt a lurch and her vision went black.


	18. Barriers

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!

Michelleb102- thank you. I tried to bring something else into that chapter and I wasn't sure whether or not I was just repeating myself

Galadriel evenstar- Yes- I know, I know.

JunoMagic- thank you- here's you update- hope you think it's as good- tell me either way though.

MereBeatUpMur- what a name! Hello- I'm glad you like it. Well that what I thought- at first it seemed a little cheesy but then I just had to put it in somewhere as it seemed to represent everything that she was feeling- I'm so glad somebody picked up on that.

Looks round Err, where have all my reviews gone- is it that bad- I want your opinions guys- though it has to constructive. Are you bored? Is there anything you'd like to see happen? Please please please review

Note this hasn't really been checked as it's late but I'll look over it soon as I'm too tired now

* * *

Her body hurt her, her chest was burning and the pain in her abdomen was so great that it was taking all of her will power not to cry.

Everything was hurting her and she was afraid to open her eyes. She didn't want to know where she was nor did she want any answers.

She opened her eyes and found herself to be looking up at the painted ceiling of her bedroom.

Her head hurt and the pattern on the ceiling was confusing her eyes. Closing her eyes she desperately tried to calm her pulsing heart and wild panic that was still coursing through her veins.

As she lay there she began to mull things over, no quite sure whether or not the dream was a memory or just a dream.

It was plausible that it had been a memory. After all it had been him who had found her and who knows what he may have done before the arrival of his brother.

He had had every opportunity to take advantage of her, had he really done so and she didn't remember?

But then again she had heard of cases where the victim of abuse had relived their ordeal as they were fading. Could this be what was happening to her?

Either way she was in trouble. The panic rose in her overwhelming her and rendering her incapable of anything but crying.

---

The following morning Elrohir carefully made his way to Tanithia's talan. After the events of yesterday he wished to see how she was. Especially as she had not been seen since and in truth he was worried about her.

The scene that he walked into was one of confusion and pain.

She lay on the floor, her body naked, purple bruises and deep cuts marring her pale skin. Her hair was matted and streaked with red. Her eyes were open in terror and her lips were bruised and bloody. However his eyes were drawn to her thighs, the inside of her thighs were purple and yellow.

He could see what had happened. He had come across her once before, lying, as she was now, her face white and drawn.

Quickly he ran over to her and lifted her into his arms, wincing as she whimpered in pain as he slid his arms underneath her.

Carefully he strode over to the bed and laid her down. Her face twisted and a cry left her lips as he did so.

He with concern he looked up and down her body, horrified at what he was seeing. She had lied to him when she had promised him that she was going to be all right. She had told him of her plans for the future and he had listened with equal excitement.

The unstable maiden that had slowly built relationships with them, and had begun to overcome some of her pain was resigned to killing herself.

He bent down to kiss her forehead in a gesture of comfort; though it was to comfort himself than her. With a heavy sigh he made his way to her bathroom, knowing that he would find healing supplies in there.

After a few minutes he had found what he was looking for, but he found himself not wanting to go back and see her. However his instinct and love for her would not let him leave her.

He stood in front of the mirror, scowling at his reflection. The elf that looked back at him was weary, his eyes were dull and his face drawn. The grey velvet tunic was creased and dishevelled and his hair was hanging loose.

Sighing heavily he drew himself up and as calmly as he could, made his way over to the bed.

Her wounds were brutal and he felt every second of pain as he cleaned and bound then carefully.

-----

Her eyes fluttered open slowly. As she became more aware of her surroundings an intense sense of panic took hold of her.

She flexed her fingers experimentally, making sure that she was actually awake and not dreaming. Although she was not whether or not it had been a dream.

Her hands ran quickly up her sides, checking the damage that may or may not have been done to her.

--

Elrohir watched with a pained and concern expression, not sure whether or not to interfere and calm her or allow her to come around from whatever it was that had a hold on her.

The agony on her face was apparent as she sat up and the tears were quickly flowing down her cheeks.

She looked down at er chest, knowing that it would be bruised and scratched.

Unbeknownst to her, Elrohir had been the one who had found her and bound her wounds.

Her slender fingers unwrapped the bandages around her chest, revealing her battered breasts. Upon seeing this she cried out, sobbing uncontrollably.

Closing her eyes she moved her hands to the tender flesh o her stomach, the pain making her gasp and temporarily winded.

She knew that what had happened in her mind had been real, it had not happened, but yet it had.

She knew that the pain in her abdomen was real; she had felt it often enough and she knew without looking that her inner thighs were blue and yellow, already turning purple.

Seeing her hand move towards the silken blankets that covered her legs Elrohir quickly made his way over to the bed.

Carefully he sat besides her, taking her shaking hands in his. Her body began to tremble violently and she found herself unable to move or even speak.

He placed his hand on her back, feeling the heat of her fever radiating from her skin.

Putting her physical injuries aside he knew that he had to bring her out of the trap that her mind had caught her in.

Thinking that all she needed was to be held, he pulled her into his arms and began to rock her. She melted into his arms for a moment but as soon as she realised where she was she pulled away from him with an alarming speed and curled herself up into a tight ball.

Leaning forward, concern shining in his grey eyes, he placed his hands on her arms.

Much to his dismay she whimpered and curling up tighter as if to protect herself.

Elrohir's face fell, knowing that she had severed all ties with him.

If only she would look into his eyes, she would see the truth.

"_Leave her Elrohir, it would be of no use to either of you if you stayed"_

His grandmother's voice echoed in his head, grating on his nerves and patience.

Without words he stood from her bed and silently said his goodbye to the terrified maiden.

"I don't know why you're doing this but there had better be an adequate explanation grandmother"

His words drifted into the wind as he left he talan, his heart tearing in two as he did so.

"I am sorry Ro"

Elladan' s voice penetrated his thoughts as he made his way swiftly down the stone steps and onto the grassy path below.

Elrohir stopped and turned around, only to be captured in the embrace of his brother.

"It will be alright Ro"

Elrohir stepped back and nodded before walking away from a problem for the second time that day, a feeling of betrayal and jealousy drowning him as he did so.

---

Elladan watched with a heavy heart as his brother walked away. He was worried about him and how he would view his intended actions. But he was following the instructions of his grandmother, and nothing would stop her from getting her way, and it was usually the wisest.

Tugging nervously on the hem of his golden tunic he opened the door to Tanithia's talan.

The sound of silence greeted him, alerting him to a sense of hysteria that not even in her darkest days had she emanated.

Quickly he made his way out of the room and found the nearest elf, asking them to bring Haldir, Taryn and Yulion. Although he had not seem her injuries he had been informed that they were extensive and would need the correct care, along with that it was imperative that she calmed down.

He felt the presence of Haldir and Yulion behind him and raised his hand to stop them form interrupting.  
  
Taryn ignored the anxious elves and focused on the terrified elleth before her.  
  
"Tanithia, look at me. Everything is all right. Nobody here is going to hurt you"  
  
Tanithia made no move to acknowledge Taryn' s words. The healer turned her head and looked at the elves that stood crowding the doorway. Her blue eyes sparkled with the faint onset of tears as she thought about what would happen if they had to hold her down.  
  
She had only had to do that once before, and it had been horrific despite the necessity.  
  
The elleth had not been raped but she had been horribly beaten. Her mind had closed and she had given up. But Taryn could see the difference in the maiden that sat before her. She was fading, but she was holding on for something, or somebody.  
  
Yulion stepped forward and joined Taryn beside the bed, readying himself for the fight that Tanithia would no doubt give.  
  
Leaning forward the older woman touched Tanithia's arm and waited for a reaction, she did get a reaction, but it was not one that any of them had expected.  
  
"Tanith?"  
  
She raised her head slowly, her wide eyes darting from one person to the other.  
  
Taryn shifted so that she was sat nearer and touched Tanithia's bruised cheek. The elleth flinched but didn't move. Taking this as acceptance Taryn ran her fingers down the side of her face and through her hair.  
  
Tanithia looked at her with wary eyes as the healer lifted the blankets and arranged them around her thin shoulders.

"No one told me Taryn. I didn't know. He...he...he didn't know. It was my fault. I should have fought him, but he was too big, too big and I...I..."  
  
"Shh, I doesn't matter, it doesn't matter"  
  
Tanithia held taryns hand in hers, as if to stop her from getting any closer, but the healer was having none of and as soon as she saw the glint in her eyes she motioned for Haldir to come and hold her. Haldir was her friend but he was also somebody whom she respected and would not risk the wrath of.  
  
The marchwarden sighed but said nothing as he made his way over to pair.  
  
Seeing her becoming more and more agitated Taryn tried her best to hold her attention but it was of little importance as the elleth had already stopped listening and was almost hyperventilating.

Tanithia's body began to shake violently as she began to understand what it was that they were planning to do to her.  
  
Seeing her panic Haldir quickly slid on the bed behind her and wrapped his arms around her, effectively immobilising her.  
  
But still she thrashed about. Forgetting that she wore nothing underneath the blankets she fought with everything she had to try and escape. The red silk slipped down, revealing her abused chest and Elladan found himself having to steal himself against the onslaught of emotions. Sighing deeply he made his way over to the bed and took her face in his hands, making her look at him.  
  
She whimpered softly and let her body go limp. The only thing that she could see was that face, his face. He was taunting her. He'd come back for her.  
  
"No, no, no, no"  
  
Her shaking hands came up to push him away from her but she was too weak to make any difference.  
  
Letting go of her, Elladan stepped back and allowed Yulion to take his place.  
  
Yulion pushed her back against Haldir's chest and taking advantage of her sudden collapse examined her injuries.  
  
Her eyes began to close as they finished wrapped her in bandges and the last  
thing that she saw was the kind face of Taryn as she pulled the blankets up  
around her neck.

---

Standing back form the bed Taryn let Yulion take over.

"She is reliving everything"

"Why?"

Elrohir's smooth voice came from the doorway turning heads and receiving worried smiles.

"Her heart has not yet given it's permisson to leave these lands. She is undecided. I have only seen this happen perhaps twice before. The victim of an intense trauma usually tried to convince themselves of a way out"

"A way out of what?"

Haldir asked from his seat on the bed,

"A way out life, out of what they feeling, their guilt, and shame...who knows"

Yulion sighed, not wished to say what had to be said,

"She is reliving the events because the Valar see fit. They test ever soul before they are allowed to choose their final place. Lord Glorfindel is one of the few who have been granted an exception. After he fell when fighting the Balrog his soul was judged and his reasons questioned. The circumstances were different but the test remains the same. She believes that she is strong, and indeed she is, but she must learn that she needs others. Her ultimate decision rests on whether or she wishes to overcome her injures"

One by one they left the room until Haldir and Elrohir were the only ones left. Carefully Elrohir lifted Tanithia from Haldir as the marchwarden stood up.

"She will do this son of Elrond, but do not interfere"

Haldir's voice had taken on a stern coldness as he left his parting words to soak into the already morbid atmosphere of the room.

There was much to think about and there was much that needed to be put aside. But there was also much to be renewed. The only problem was understanding what that meant.


	19. Painful revelations

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!!!!!

Everybody- hello once again- I know it's been such a long time since my last post but please forgive me. Things are moving along swiftly with this story now. And if it hadn't of been for all your reviews I wouldn't have managed to write this chapter- thanks guys- please review

AN- Galadriel seems a little...ok a lot out of character in this- but I've been re-reading the fellowship of the ring and it says there that Galadriel helped make the cloaks that the fellowship are given, and it just got me thinking about a whole new side of her- hope you like it

* * *

He watched her sleep, her face was somewhat peaceful but the evidence of her pain was still clear. 

Her eyes were closed and her fists were balled, she was so tense.

The breeze blew softy through the room, softly playing with the light drapes and moving a few silky strands of hair that lay around her face.

He stood up and stretched his long limbs and sighed before sitting on the bed beside her. he could feel the heat radiating from her skin. It had been a battle to bind her wounds. She had bled for over an hour before they were finally able to stem the bleeding, meaning that once again she would have to be confined to her bed. This was not an ideal situation as she was in desperate need of air and space.

The bruising on her thighs was horrific and they had darkened considerably and were no doubt very painful. Her breasts would be scared and would have to be kept bound for a few weeks to ensure that her ribs healed properly.

Her face was bruised but they would heal without any marks.

He ran a slender finger down the side of her face, silently cursing the valar for making her relive everything. Had the first rapes not been enough? Had she not shed enough blood?

She shifted, her face relaxed and her hand came up to grip his tightly. He was more than a little shocked but he remained where he was.

"She will not wake for a while yet"

The sombre voice of his grandmother startled him and he turned his head to look at her.

Her golden hair was tied back in a single braid, an unusual gesture of comfort and casual behaviour. Her white dress was not as embellished as the ones she normally chose to wear. Elrohir had heard his mother talk about his grandmother as a mother and a play mate when she was younger. He could not imagine her running around the gardens chasing an elfling.

"I am not the person you think me to be. I must present an image of elegance and calm. I have been a mother Elrohir, I know what it is to play in the mud and bake cakes and play in the trees. I am not the ice queen that you imagine"

he averted his eyes, feeling a little guilty about his obvious thoughts and feeling towards her. he did not know his grandmother well, they had never had the chance to become close.

Galadriel smiled at the obvious connection that the two on the bed still shared, despite Tanithia's reluctance to have him anywhere near her when she was awake.

They were being tested. Tanith did not to die, that had been obvious. She was afraid of admitting it. it was far easier to pray on the pain and fear that she was suffering. But then the only way that she would be able to put everything behind her would be to accept what had happened, as she could not.

Unfortunately the only way that she had found to release her pain and anger was to take it out on those she felt closest to.

Galadriel had been informed of the close friendship that Elrohir and Tanithia had formed and she suspected that on order to make herself feel stronger she was pushing away the one person who had seen her vulnerability.

Galadriel sat down in the seat that Elrohir had vacated, her blue eyes softening as she looked at him.

"I know what it is you worry about, and you are wrong to worry. She shows you now what she cannot allow herself to show or say when she is awake"

He shook his head as he looked down at her, she had turned over onto her side, her hand still clutching his. Smiling softly he pulled the covers back over her naked shoulders.

"You resent this do you not?"

Elrohir's eyes blazed as he looked at his grandmother,

"Yes I resent it! How could they do this? Look at her"

He hissed at her, uncaring of who she was.

"She sees them every night, I have had to lye awake night after night listening to her scream and cry in her sleep, knowing that I could not comfort her. is that not enough?"

The lady shook her head,

"She is not being punished. She is being shown what it is that she cannot see for herself"

"And what is that?"

"There are many things"

Elrohir growled, annoyed and angered by the finality of her vague words.

Galadriel stood up and kissed her grandson on the forehead,

"Trust everything and nothing"

Before he could ask about her words she was gone.

He sat there for hours, watching her sleep and thinking about his next step.

She was beautiful and he loved her, but he could not tell her. Her actions towards him had both upset and terrified him.

What had he done wrong?

He thought back to the morning before they had arrived in Lothlorien. She had told him that above all other she had trusted he and his brother among those she placed her trust in.

He had taken that to heart.

He had watched his father deal with matters of diplomacy and healing ever since he had been able to walk. He had memories of sitting on either his adar's of Glorfindel's lap, even Erestor had allowed him to sit on his lap in a few instances.

He understood the importance of patience but it was not easy to uphold.

"Are you ever planning on leaving the room 'Ro?"

Elrohir smiled at the deep tenor of his brothers voice,

"Not until she had woken and is alright"

Elladan laughed dryly,

"Always the gentleman"

he could not help but feel responsible for the welfare of his younger twin. They had looked after each other from the day of their birth and they would always continue to do so.

He crouched by the bed so that his face was level with Tanithia's.

"She holds such power over you, and she is completely oblivious"

His whispered words almost went unheard but they were not to be ignored.

"She is oblivious to all but her pain and her memories 'Dan. She has no idea of where she is, only that she is being held against her will"

Elladan sighed heavily, chosing to ignore his brothers words.

"She will not heal lying in bed all day. When she is awake we will take her outside"

"we cannot, she must stay I bed to recover her strength"

Elladan rolled his eyes,

"When she is strong enough we will take her outside. Does that suite you?"

"Yes, it does"

Elladan clapped his brother on the shoulder and squeezed it in reassurance.

"I will see you at dinner 'Ro"

Elrohir nodded absently.

"I didn't plan this"

Elladan stopped in his tracks. He watched with a hint of anger as his twin stoked her hair tenderly and he damned himself for letting them become so close. She would die leaving behind a heart broken elf.

"I didn't plan to fall in love 'Dan. It just happened"

Elladan sighed and made his way over to his brother,

"I know, but I cannot help but feel angry about it. If it were in any other circumstance I would have given my blessing 'Ro. But not like this"

Their eyes met and they smiled at each other, neither knowing why but feeling that it was right.

She will recover 'Dan. I have faith in her"

"It is alright to have faith, but do not mistake it for blind hope 'Ro"

* * *

Tanithia stirred and moaned softly as she woke from her sleep. Elrohir and Yulion watched with concern as her eyes fluttered shut once more. She was asleep but the drugs that they had given her would not allow her body to move for a few more hours and would allow her to gradually wake up fully. 

"She looks so...young"

Yulion smiled at the almost absurd wonder in Elrohir's voice,

Tanithia's face was relaxed and her hair flowed over the pillow and over her bare shoulder. The blankets were clutched in her and he sighed as she turned over onto her side.

"She is very young, as are you elfling"

Elrohir scowled playfully at the healer and shook his head. Yulion sat down on the bed beside the sleepy elfling and looked at Elrohir.

"I do not think that there is anything I would rather do than help the two of you. But until you face the fact that she may not wish to live on we can go no further.

Tanith opened her eyes an dlooked at Elrohir with a confused look.

"Why did you do it? I thought you loved me"

It was Elrohir's turn to look confused. Yulion stood up and moved away slightly to observe the conversation. She was too drowsy to be able to tell any lies or cover the truth and so it was an opportunity to learn what it was about Elrohir that was frightening her.

"What did I do?"

His voice was soft so as not to alarm her and to keep himself calm as he had a feeling that he would not like the answer that she was going to give him. She shook her head, closing her eyes once more.

Elrohir tightened the grip that he had on her hand and leaned forward,

"Please tell me, I will not be angry"

She raised her head and looked at him, yet she was not seeing him, it was almost as if she were still trapped within the realms of a dream and it didn't matter who she told.

"You did this to me, you raped me...how could you...I trusted you...betrayed..."

a tear slipped down her cheek and Elrohir had look away. He felt nauseous and faint and for a moment Yulion thought that he was going to pass out or become violent.

Yulion stepped forward and stroked her hair soothingly hoping to lull her to sleep. As it would do her no good to drug her again.

Within minutes she was asleep in her bed and he ran from the room feeling it close in around him,

Vaguely he could hear Yulion shouting his name but it did not matter, he had to talk to his grandmother. He ran, not really caring who he ran into or who he disturbed, knowing only that he had to get to his grandmothers mirror.

He finally set eyes upon the stone pedestal but he could not stop himself and breathlessly he slammed into it before sliding down to the floor, one hand still gripping the stone as if it were a lifeline.

"You know now what it is she is afraid of"

He shook his head,

"I did not do it, I promise, I did not do it"

Galadriel sat down before him,

"My dear Elrohir, I know. But she no longer sees that truth. She sees what the Valar give to her"

"I do not understand"

Her blue eyes narrowed in thought and for a moment she looked pensive,

"When an elf chooses to fade the Valar do not simply accept. A person is judged and if the Valar find that they do not think that elf is sure of death they are tested. In Tanithia's case her fears of vulnerability are being tested. The orcs were replaced with you because it is you she is closest with. While her mind wishes to fade her heart can see a further goal and it will not let her leave"

Elrohir furrowed his brow and ran his hands through his hair laughing heavily,

"Why do I feel like a 50 year old elfling again?"

"Because sometimes the only way to see the truth is to see it though a child eyes"


	20. Acceptance

Everybody- you've all waited so patiently- I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Thanks to everybody for reading and reviewing!

And a special thanks to Beautiful Soul86 for looking thorough this chapter! Thank

you

The night was still and the breeze soft as she listened carefully for any approaching steps.

Sighing softly and shifting her body so that she could grip the side of the bed. She dug her fingernails into the wood as she lifted her body into an upright sitting position. This action brought a wave of pain upon her that pooled in her abdomen, but it only served to push her onwards in her task. With a grunt she lifted her legs from the bed, revelling for a moment in the cool, smooth feeling of wood beneath her feet.

Grasping the intricately carved headboard she stood up, testing her legs. She took a shaky step but let out an excited giggled when she found that she could stand without much pain and she could walk without falling over.

Her excitement was short lived when she realised that the thin nightgown that she wore was not presentable to go outside in. She bit her in concentration as she slowly made her way over to the chair, upon which laid a white silken robe.

Running her fingers through her hair she finally looked towards her target, the door.

She started when she saw the handle of the door turn and her thoughts seemed to slow down. She hadn't heard anybody approach. How could she have been so foolish?

She door swung open to reveal a sombre Rumil. He didn't see her figure standing to the side of him and she watched with mild amusement and some concern as a mixture of emotions ran over his features.

She stepped forward but was thwarted when her body betrayed her and she fell to the floor.

Rumil immediately stepped towards her and gathered her into his arms and placed her in one of the large chairs that sat beside the window.

Neither one of them spoke while he took off his bow and armour.

He didn't blame her and she didn't feel guilty for betraying orders to stay in bed. She cocked her head adorably and smiled at him,

"Are you going to tell me why you are so melancholy my friend?"

He smiled at her words and looked her in the eye, wondering how to explain how he felt,

"Elrohir has returned to Imladris, it is no longer a matter of whether you love each other or not. You cannot live for another. I want you to find something to live for. I want to have you by my side at the borders and I want you to sit with us at dinner. You sit alone but with so much company"

She leaned back in her seat and sighed heavily.

"Rumil you think too much, I didn't understand half of what you just said"

They laughed at her statement but the mood of the moment was not lost,

She raised her eyes to meet his grey ones and she sat up.

"I want to come back. I spoke to Elrohir, my words were said in haste and fear and I did not think at their poisonous effect. But he made me think. And I wish to come back. I do not wish to return to the boarders…not for a while but I hope that Haldir will allow me to take up a little of the duties that I left behind. I can still do that can't I? There is no reason not to"

Rumil watched with surprise as her frown turning into the eager, impetuous elleth that she had been before. The girlish charm that had attracted him to her in their younger years was back and a sense of another impending change became apparent. Perhaps Elrohir leaving has given her the courage to find what she could not before. Her dependence on him was too much for the independence that had always driven her to go beyond what she was told she could do.

"When I joined the guard you were waiting for me to fail, I know, you just did not want to tell me, but I saw it in your eyes. And when you saw that I could indeed accomplish what you could, you thought better of me did you not?"

He sat in the chair opposite, one leg slung over the arm of the chair and his head resting against his hand. He rolled his eyes but nodded his head,

"I admit it. It was not that I was waiting for you to fail; I did not wish to witness your pain if you did not accomplish what you wanted. You were excellent at what you were already doing. Your paintings adorn the most beautiful halls Tanith and I did not understand why you wished to discard such a talent.

"I wanted more Rumil. I wanted to see what else was beyond the city. I wanted to see beyond my own mind. And I wanted to be free"

She laughed and slumped into the chair.

"I doubt very much that I will ever see him again. I owe him so much. But I do not have the words to express it. I feel so wretched. To have said those things to him, it was not I. I did not wish to hurt him"

---

Elrohir smiled to himself as he made his way back to Tanithia's room. He had foolishly acted on impulse and packing his belongings before making his way to his horse and leaving the city without a word to anyone. He knew that the guards were watching him and would alert the necessary elves and he also knew that his grandparents would know instantly about his departure.

The glint of venom in her eyes that night when she had accused him of raping her had been fear, not venom. If he had of stayed and asked her what she had seen and what she felt he would have known this but he had been too frightened and too appalled.

His steps slowed as he reached the steps that led to her and what no doubt was going to be a lengthy and difficult conversation.

He stood before her door for what seemed like an eternity, not daring to enter. But eventually the time came when he had to push open the door and see her. He stepped forward and slowly twisted the handle, letting it slip carelessly from his grip and swing open.

He let out a relieved sigh when he saw her lying on the bed asleep, curled beneath blankets, with just the sweetest hint of a smile on her face.

She mumbled in her sleep as I made my way over to her and sat beside her on the bed. In an odd moment I lightly grazed my knuckles down the side of her face, and was slightly startled when she reached to grasp it

I felt her grip on my hand tighten as she stirred. She was waking up and as I watched her eye lashed flutter against her cheek I felt my heart begin to beat wildly. She moaned softly as she finally opened her eyes.

"Elrohir?"

Her eyes were wide and a mixture of surprise and happiness were reflected in them.

I was confused.

Her body stiffened and I watched, as she seemed to struggle with conflicting feelings. She locked her gaze on my face and my stomach fluttered wildly with happiness and anxiety.

"Hello"

I heard myself say quietly. She looked deep in thought as she chewed her bottom lips.

Her eyes misted and sparkled with the onset of tears as she tried to say something. I smiled encouragingly and waited for her to gather herself.

"I…I…I am sorry. I did to mean to say those things to you. Please do not hold them against me. Please…but…but…I did see, I felt you…I…"

Tears were flowing down her cheeks and neither of us could say anything, it would seem to be a crime to break the silence. Instead I manovered her body so that I wouldn't hurt her and slipped into bed beside her.

The anger of everything was building up in my body and I had to fight hard to push it aside. I was angry with her. I felt a keen sense of betrayal as she apologised. In a way I did not want her to apologise. It would have been easier to express my anger if she had not.

But still I held my toys and turned my thoughts back to the present moment.

I lay still and looked at her. Her eyes were wide with fear and determination.

She brought her hand up to hover shakily over my chest and I withheld a grin as her fingertips brushed my tunic. She smiled like an excited child and slowly stretched her fingers so that her hand was laying flat above my heart.

I couldn't contain a laugh at the wonder in her eyes and she giggled softly.

I lifted my hand and laid it beside hers. I heart her heartbeat quicken and she gasped as her fingers touched mine. She looked to me for encouragement and I nodded.

Her smile slipped to be replaced by a frown.

"You frighten me"

I heard her whisper as she shuffled down and laid her head on my shoulder.

"Why do I frighten you?"

I placed my hand on the small of her back, intrigued by this sudden honesty.

She hesitated before answering me,

"Because, I felt everything Elrohir. Your hands…they wouldn't stop. You hurt me. You hurt me so much. You wouldn't stop, wouldn't let me go"

She didn't cry. Perhaps that was what cut me. Instead her features hardened with what seemed to me like an acceptance.

I closed my eyes and shifted so that I could look her in the eye. I would never have guessed that what I found there was somebody who now realised what had happened and had perhaps began to understand her role in her recovery.

"I only hope that you can look me in the eye and trust that I will never lay a you without your permission. I will never force you, if you will once day allow me to show you hw much I love you then it will be done with your consent and the love that you deserve. This will not easy you realise this. That temper of yours will be the end of everything and the death of some if you do not curb it"

She laughed with me but listened carefully, however there was hint of anger in her eyes that I did not fail to see,

"Are you saying that you want me? You won't leave me? I know I'm not what I used to be but I can be better I promise. I can paint. I'm good at painting"

The honest anxiety in her eyes was endearing but worrying at the same time,

"Do what you wish, paint, plant flowers wander the boarders. It will not make who you are and I will love you just the same- I may worry about you more if you were to patrol but I will not stop you"

She nodded, a confused look on her face,

"I am tired"

She said quietly as she yawned and laid her head on my shoulder. I sat up a little a pulled the covers over her shoulders.

"Sleep. I will be here when you wake"

She nodded before letting her eyelids close. Hopefully her new attitude will help her healing process and she will begin to sleep with her eyes open once more. I know that I will feel better when she does.

I do not understand what has happened, or why she has suddenly changed her mind and shared her thoughts. The very fact that she accepted my presence in the room was baffling to me after recent events. It may not matter to some but to me it was a mystery that had to be solved.

If not for my own sanity. Perhaps then I can help her in some way that we both appreciate.


	21. Faith

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!!!

Lady Anck-su-namun- I know- isn't is sad. I'm glad your enjoying it and I'm sorry for the wait.

Chichiri's Wanderer- hi, I tried to make it heartfelt and I'm glad that that comes across- its important that there's a definite change in her in that chapter because from here on in it's not a smooth ride.

Bethany wood- hello! I'm glad you liked it- and as usual the lines that you liked were the ones I was going to take out

Leggylover4ever- thank you as always- hopefully the turn around will become more evident in this chapter- this chappie seems a bit sickly sweet but really this is the beginning of her recovery.

Dani-celebrindel- thanks- no way! We're nowhere near the end- things are about to pick up.

Lexizager- thanks very much- glad you like it

Thanks to everybody!!!!!!!

Please leave a review- it's always good to have feedback!!!!

The sounds of swords clanging and shout made her heart race. She could feel the energy that she had once had and used. She watched with a careful eye as the two opponents spared with deadly accuracy.

From beside her Elrohir watched her face light up with excitement as her eyes followed Haldir and Elladan as they spared together. Their dance was elaborate and more for stamina than for battle. She clapped her hands like an excited child as Haldir disarmed Elladan and the two of them toppled to the floor.

Tanith sighed and it was obvious that she envied the two of them. She had finally been allowed to leave her room but she could not walk. The internal damage to her body was far more serious than first though and she still bled and with it sometimes came excruciating pain, there were some days where she could not stand and had to be carried.

Luckily her friends had rallied around her and she was never alone. She had become more open to everybody and was accepting her temporary disability very well. But there were some who saw the frustration and the anger when she was carried and helped with activities that would otherwise have been done with fuss. She looked weary of people and she looked trapped. Rumil had been the first to comment on her pale skin and her obvious anger towards  
herself.

And so it had been decided that with the help of somebody she would be allowed to leave her room and spend the morning outside. Elrohir had volunteered to help and with knowing smile everybody stepped aside for him.

The two of them had spent days thinking about what they would do. She had wanted to go swimming but Elrohir had strongly advised against that. He suggested that they go for a picnic but she didn't want to be away from everybody. By the end of the discussion they had reached the compromise that they would go for a picnic beside the lake and extend and invitation to a few friends.

This had satisfied both, which brought them to watching Haldir and Elladan sparing.

"You will not be so lucky next time march warden. I daresay that my brother has had enough of seeing the floor"

Elrohir quipped as he reached over to Tanith and helped her lay out the contents of their picnic. Haldir laughed at Elladan's mock outraged expression as he grabbed a towel and sat beside Rumil.

Rumil surveyed the scene with a smile.

Tanith looked happy. He didn't miss the slight look of pain when she stretched her body but otherwise her expression was joyous. She had donned a dress of a light golden material and had tied her hair back in a simple fashion.

Elrohir had a protective and perhaps possessive hand on the small of her hand. He too had a look of happiness on his face. Yet his face was shadowed in thought. His smile was guarded in a thoughtful manner and his eyes watched Tanith's every movement.

Rumil shifted his gaze to fall on Elladan. The elder twin was laughing with Haldir at something Elrohir had said. Elladan was less inclined to observing people in a relaxed setting and so lay back against the wide trunk of a tree making him comfortable.

Haldir had the same expression on his face as Elrohir. It was well known within the group that he and Tanith had once been lovers and it seemed to make him at ease with her but guarded slightly with Elrohir.

Elladan looked at the female of the group with a smile,

"So, have you decided on how you will spend the glorious amount of time that you have free?"

She frowned but nodded.

"I am going to begin painting again. And all of my time is spare. You should know that by now"

she rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. Continuing her theatrical display Elladan sat up,

"dear brother have you not informed her of the new developments?"

Elrohir laughed at Tanith's puzzled expression and his brother's outraged look. Elladan leaned forward and took her hands in his,

"My Lady you are to begin lesion with our grandfather, the lord Celeborn. You are to study history, which I sincerely hope you find more interesting than I"

A smile of gratitude and excitement once again flowed over her features as she giggled and threw her arms around his neck as best she could.

"Whilst I am pleased that you feel the need to embrace me my lady, It is not me that you need to thank"

she drew back, a confused look on her face,

"Then who? Not Elrohir, and Not Rumil and certainly not Haldir"

Haldir smiled at her and shook his head,

"No, it wasn't me. You have you maid to thank for this. It was her idea. Apparently she has seen the history books that cover your floor and with help made her request to the Lord. And he accepted"

her eyes widened and her breathing uneven,

"But…she does not know me. Why?"

"That is a question you will have to ask her,"

Elrohir said from behind her. She turned to look at him, a curious look upon her face.

"I do not understand. Why would a stranger do such a thing?"

Elrohir sat up, his arm sliding around her waist though neither of them bothered about it.

"If you saw somebody in need of something, would you help them, or would you walk away?"

She frowned, her eyes shining with tears, her voice was quiet and soft as she answered him,

"I would help"

Elrohir tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ears, being careful not to touch the point of her ears. He had made that mistake and the feelings of pleasure that she normally would have enjoyed she was frightened and panicked.

"So you understand?"

She nodded, as she did so a look of exhaustion took over and she slumped slightly. If it were not for elven eyes the change in posture would not have been evident.

Haldir stood up and grasping her hand pulled her up. She swayed, laughing slightly.

"Can you take me to see Lord Celeborn?"

Haldir, pulled her body so his as she swayed once again,

"I do not think that that is a good idea. You are tired and you need to rest"

she placed her hands on his should and pulled away from him, there was fire in her eyes that was encouraging but frustrating all the same,

"Haldir. I promise that I will sit down as soon as I get to see him. Do not send me back to my room, please"

Thalia smiled in triumph as they reached Lord Celeborn's study and library.

After arguing for half an hour she had finally managed to get her way.

Lord Celeborn opened the door, a warm smile on his face, and for a moment she wished that she had not argued with them and gone back to her room. But she swallowed her fear and stepped inside, leaving Haldir and Elrohir outside to go and do whatever it was they wished, which was in all probability nothing.

Celeborn's study was surprisingly light; it was nothing like she had imagined it to be. It was an enclosed space, the only light being from a balcony window and the doorway that led to the library. The walls had been decorated in a warm shade of cream and various maps and paintings lined the walls beside tall shelves full of thick well-read books.

The large desk that sat beside the window was immaculate, only the books that sat on the floor spoiled the tidy look.

Celeborn smiled at her soft giggle and he shook his head laughingly as he led her to a chair near his desk. He watched her eyes gaze longingly at the books around the room and a grin slid across his lips as she picked up a book delicately and opened the first page.

She bit her lip to contain a squeal of excitement as her eyes scanned the page.

He shook his head with a smile and sat beside her, placing a cup of tea in front of her. She closed the book with an air of reverence and placed it carefully back on the table.

"I am sorry my Lord"

he laughed at her genuinely apologetic expression,

"What is it you are sorry for?"

She cocked her head, frowning,

"I touched what was yours without your permission my lord"

He narrowed his eyes, suspicious about the circumstances and her new understanding of boundaries. She looked down at her tightly clasped hands that now lay in her lap. She refused to look him in the eye at all, she was not afraid of him but of the consequences of her actions.

"And did it harm the book in any way?"

She raised her head but still refused to look him in the eye,

"No my lord"

"Then why do you feel the need to apologise?"

She looked him in the eyes, her manner accusing and defensive,

"People should not touch what is not theirs"

He felt a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach a hollow helpless look entered her eyes.  
Leaning forward he took her small hands in his, running his thumb over her knuckles in a comforting gesture. She was shaking and her eyes were shining with tears.

"People keep touching me. Always touching me…and they never ask they presume, they should not presume! I don't want people to touch me anymore!"

She burst into almost hysterical tears as she whispered her words. Without a word the Lord pulled her to him, whispering words of comfort to her though he knew she wouldn't hear them. The trembling in her body increased and within seconds she was shaking violently.

"Tanith?"

He pushed her gently away from him and studied her face, her pupils were dilated until her eyes appeared black and her breathing was shallow.

He picked her up and placed her on a chair before taking off his outer robe and wrapping it around her and picking her up once more. Cradling her in his arms he sat before the fire, more for comfort than for warmth.

Rocking her back and fourth and whispering nonsense words seemed to have the desired effect and she calmed down.

He looked down at her and for a moment was almost surprised at himself. He acted simply using the experiences that he had had with Celebrian when she had been a child and had not thought about his actions. Over the years he had come to look at himself as the elves under his guidance had, Lord of Lorien, and it seemed strange to him that he sat holding a fragile elf who had no father of her own to ask for comfort.

He watched as she closed her eyes and burrowed her head into his chest and he couldn't help but smile.

He sat there for hours, reading a book that he had found nearby on the floor, and still she slept on. He raised his head at the sound of the door swinging open and laughed softly at his wife's surprised gasp. Although most supposed that Galadriel could hear anybody's thoughts Celeborn was too powerful and easily blocked her.

Galadriel said nothing, instead choosing to sit beside him, a delicate eyebrow raised in question.

He sat with a soft smile as his wife traced Tanith's face with her fingers and gently moved her hair from her forehead.

He placed his book down on the floor and began repeating the event to her.

And it seemed that they had both come to the same conclusion.

"She sees you as her lord and so respects you, perhaps her fear and relief appeared in the form of a collapse"

he nodded, not really understanding but knowing that once she was awake Tanith herself would perhaps be able to tell him.

"She will not fade but the guilt and grief that she feels for her parents are painful. I do not understand why she came to me"

Galadriel shook her head,

"She came to you because you are her lord and you have command upon her. She feels safe in the knowledge that there is something stable between you. Her relationships with her friends are not stable. They are fickle. She is uncertain of her own emotions and trusts that you will not leave her"

his blue eyes locked with those of his wife,

"But she has resisted all attempts at comfort and reassurance from everybody"

Galadriel looked at him with a piteous look and sighed heavily,

"She did not think about what she was doing, her heart and mind have judged the situation and she has been made to follow. She felt comfortable and safe enough to let her grief out in front of you. Do not let this pass Celeborn. You can help her"


	22. Attack

Disclaimer- I own nothing

Hello once again my friends. After reading over this story I've finally sketched out the remaining plot. Things are about to get interesting!

And in my opinion its a lot better than what was being done before and I'm sure you'll agree. I will also go though it and repair all spelling and grammatical errors when I get the chance. It annoys me so I'm sure it annoys you too. But I promise it'll all be repaired.

My interest and belief in this fic has been renewed so please please review, even if its only a couple of words. Thanks xxxx

* * *

Rumil smiled as he watched Tanith leave her talan, her unbound hair flying behind her and her blue dress loose and comfortable with her paints tucked under one arm was one of innocence and happiness and he couldn't help but smile at the strange sense of satisfaction he felt.

He knew that she still suffered with nightmares and she still could not cope with more than a few people. But she was taking her time and she was gaining more confidence.

Her studies with Lord Celeborn had helped her focus and this alone was enabling her to make something of her days. She would occasionally join her friends for a meal and she would accept visitors into her home, though it was still a place that they held in respect. Her personal space was important to her and she felt vulnerable and often panicked when people entered her home without permission.

The departure of the sons of Elrond had hurt her and she was doing her best to try and hide it from everybody, but she was less than successful. Her eyes were haunted and her voice dull. She did not sing and she did not dance as she had, on occasion, inclined to do.

But what she did not know was that the dark haired twins had not journeyed home, they had journey to the land of Gondor, taking with them an important message for their grandmother and would be back soon.

And what she also did not know was that Elrohir had drempt of her. The younger twin that had held her when she was trapped within her dreams had not merely been her imagination. He had been real. Somehow they had reached out to one another and created a bond. The bond would not last but while it did Elrohir was determined to make her whole again. In her dreams she saw them and she cowered in his arms, afraid of them both but more willing to hide in the small comfort of familiar arms. He felt her body shake and her resolve melt and she became like the others, unresponsive and timid. He was not willing to accept that. She was an opinionated elleth who had shown her strength often. He had atched as she had wielded a sword and bested her marchwarden. Perhaps that was her anger but that did not matter.

He could feel an immense anger laying on her chest and it was only a matter of time until she turned on somebody. Perhaps that would bring her back.

Tanith sat beside the river. Arranging her dress around her legs so that it covered her ankles. She smiled at the arrangement, shaking her head at the absurd pleasure that she felt at such a simple action.

Taking her time she laid back on the grass and closed her eyes, listening the birds and enjoying the feel of the fresh breeze on her skin. Unable to contain her happiness she giggled quietly to herself.

The wardens above her smiled at their comrade but did not leave their post. If anything had become apparent it was that they could not risk the safety of anybody especially the elleth below them.

Tanith opened her eyes and looked around her at the tall silver trees of the wood she had lived in all her life. The grass beneath her smelled like summer and rain and the sound of the river was like a steady beat through her very soul. It ran through her, carrying her through the forest and washing her soul clean. Her brow furrowed as a heavy weight interrupted her and she could no longer imagine the pure water. Instead in her mind she saw the river running red and black.

With a start she opened her eyes and covered her mouth to stop herself from crying out.

It took her a few moment but she calmed herself and once again returned to the peaceful state in which she had rested.

She tried to think of something different but she couldn't. She had fought it for days, not wanting to acknowledge her need. She needed him. She needed his words and his embrace but she would not admit it. There was a stubborn streak in herself that she had always placed her confidence in but this would cripple her and she knew it. But still she could not back down and ask for it despite what she had overcome with him. She had slept in his arms and had rested without nightmares, but it was not enough.

She resisted all attempts from anybody to come close to her baring two people. Lord Celeborn and Rumil were able to touch her without making her flinch. It was understandable. But she was terrified of Galadriel. She would withdraw into herself at the mere prospect of having to stand before her.

Nobody knew where she was. But she knew that the wardens were watching over her and instead of feeling intruded upon she felt safe. These were elves with whom she had trained and dined. She knew the names of their wives and the names of their elflings. They would not interfere with her but they would not leave her. That was comforting.

Humming softly to herself she removed the lid from the box of paints and set out her canvas on the grass. She didn't want to paint a careful picture. She wanted one full of life, full of the life that she wanted to feel, the one that she tried to find.

She sat there all day, unmoving from her place on the grass beside the river.

She hated the picture. The strokes of her brush in purple and white were large and brash but the small careful strokes of yellow were beautiful to her. They were delicate lifelines from each large petal of the flower that she had painted. She turned her nose up at the flower itself, thinking it vulgar and distasteful. But the yellow edges, they were the comfort and the protection of the silky petals, no matter how small and insignificant they seemed they were still the most important. Without the yellow the purple would be nothing.

Sighing heavily she stood up and took one last look at the grove of trees in which she had sat for the day, and she was thankful for the peace that it had brought. She could feel the air changing, becoming hard and cold. The pleasant breeze was now gone and the sun had sunk into the clouds.

Through the panicked haze of her mind she felt the touch of a warden and a cool blade was thrust into her hand in a smooth, quick motion. Her eyes widened as the realization hit her.

"I am sorry but you are needed"

She heard her comrade talking to her but the reality was sinking in. She felt herself harden and unconsciously she stepped into the role which she had once occupied with force.

"Are we covered?"

Turning to her left she barked out questions and orders that came as naturally as her very breath. She heard the rumble of the enemy and the fast beat of her heart as the blood ignited in her veins. The fear that she felt was overcome by her anger and her hand clasped the hilt of her blade tighter.

Her eyes surveyed the scene and she was taken aback. The glade was now surrounded by invisible Galadhrim, each as deadly as the other.

No longer was she alone in her fight. She would win this fight and she would return home with a victorious heart.

The rumble increased and along with it were the familiar growls and shouts of the ors and she was thrust back into her nightmares. Her breath caught and she almost dropped her sword. The warden by her side caught her by the waist as she fell to the ground. Almost immediately she snapped back to reality and got to her feet, sword in hand. She shook her head angrily, fighting the urge to scream.

By her telling there were at least thirty of them. They were outnumbered but the Lorien guard were highly skilled.

On the other side of the boarder Haldir sprinted at the first word of the oncoming attack. His heart thundered in his chest and his blood boiled. The fight was a worthless one. The orcs would not outlast the guard. But he was not confident that Tanith would survive or handle the situation as she once had. She had once been able to best others and the quiet elleth who had entered the guard had risen to every challenge given to her. There was a small amount of pride within him when the realization that she would also rise to this one settled in his heart.

Settling the hilt of her sword comfortably in her hand she thrust her mind into her training. The air pulsed as they waited and the sound and smell of the beasts were overwhelming but controllable. She could feel eyes on her but she didn't care. This was one fight she had been waiting for.

The orcs rushed in gathering around the elves but unseeing of the archers hidden amongst the boughs of the trees. Arrows bit into opponents, none missed. Black arrows launched with a great creaking and effort as they struggled to keep up with the elves. Swords battled against brute force as the battle raged.

In the crowd of elves and orc Tanith twisted missed the point of a blade by nothing as she moved to block her opponent. Standing at over 6 feet and towering over her the orc snarled down at her. Images flashed in her mind blinding her as she whirled her blade with an expertise that she had thought was long forgotten. The blood boiled in her veins and her heart almost stopped beating as she blocked her opponents blade. Coming closer to her his breath almost made her retch but seeing his eyes the lust for battle was increased and spinning quickly her blade bit trough the tough skin.

Laughing to herself she turned to join the larger battle, her hand slippery with blood and guts as she moved in sync with the rest of the wardens. The terrific noise of dying elves and growling orcs was deafening her and moment by moment she was losing herself, but it didn't matter.

The hate rose within her and overspilled as she moved with speed through the crowd, her sword cutting through metal and flesh, stopping for a moment each time to ensure that the beast was dead.

From among the trees Orophin watched Tanith, covering her as she moved to avoid orcs that she had not anticipated. She was fighting well but he could see the strain in her arms…and she was no longer in control. A surprise to be sure, and a dangerous one. She was not taking in her entire surrounding and as a result was leaving her left side open to attack.

To his right he saw Haldir strike a fatal blow, taking the Orc's head off in one blow and a grimace took over his face as the head slid from the torso in one last stand. Ducking to avoid a heavy strike he ran his blade through the Orc, taking another with it.

Orophin watched with wide eyes as Tanith attacked what was left of their enemy with renewed gusto and soon it seemed she was no longer in control of her herself. The blade in her hand spun quickly without fear or hesitation as she struck out at anything in her path uncaring of who it was. Slamming her weight into a oncoming orc she didn't have time to notice the sword the it held and without feeling the sword plunged into her side.

A wave of pain hit her but as soon it was replaced with a white hot yearning for battle and she was once again replenished.

The battle was soon over. It had not lasted as long as some but it had been once of the most challenging for Haldir.

Corpses littered the ground, most orcs. Three marksmen stood watch over their obviously distressed captain as she plunged her sword into the belly of an already dead orc in a fit of rage. Her face was pale and her eyes deadly but it was plain to all who looked upon her that she had not been ready for battle.

Slumping to the ground she looked up at the boots of her marchwarden and though she knew that he wished her to rise she could not. Her arms ached and her back was sore but the wound in her side was slowly pumping waves of pain through her and every time she thought that she could handle the pain another one hit and she was rendered still.

Looking around him at the broken and bloodied bodies of the orcs he felt his lips twitch in proud satisfaction. The trees of Lorien of had seen much and the battle they fought now was nothing in comparison. Yet the trees felt differently. There was a sense of honor in the air at that moment and for a moment Haldir's power was stripped from him in a gesture of comfort.

Stepping down a steep embankment Haldir's eyes caught sight a silent figure sat beside the mutilated corpse of an orc. Its flesh appeared to have been ripped form it's flesh and it looked as if the very blood of its being had seeped through to the surface of its corpse.

"Did you do this?"

she looked up at him, her eyes vacant and uncaring

"Yes"

Kicking aside a stray orcish helmet and a fallen bow he sat beside her and together they watched as the elves gathered up the corpses of their enemy and began to burn them. The smell was bitter and left a burnt taste in their mouths but neither of them moved. The battle trodden ground beneath them bit them to stand and the darkening sky above them told them it was time to leave. But the fires made them stay. Glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes he saw her hand cradled protectively over the side of her body.

"Are you wounded?"

She nodded but did not turn to look at him. Instead choosing to watch as two of her friends lifted the body of an orc and tossed it onto the fire.

"We breathe, we bleed, we feel. What makes us any different?"

Haldir's lips tightened and his eyes narrowed a little. His calloused hands closed around her and for a moment it seemed that they were in a different place.

"Who gives anybody the right to dictate the lives of everybody? Who designed them? Why were they designed, they don't live, they just kill"

the marchwarden let his ask slip for a second and allowed her to see what most did not. His eyes were calm and on his face was a soft expression of shared wondering.

"I do not know why there are here. But that does not mater, not will it ever. You joined the guard as a naive maiden and still today you hold some of that naivety"

she looked up at him with a deflated expression, disappointment clear in her eyes. Noticing the grip that Haldir had on her hand she pulled away only to find that the marchwardens fingers tightened,

"Haldir let me go"

his lips twitched before the stony expression once again fell,

"You have a chance to change your life. Do not throw it away"

infuriated by his implication she rose to her feet, almost tripping as the hem of her tattered dress caught on a stray spear.

Her lips tightened as she tried to calm herself but she found that her heart was beating too fast and her mind so weary that it spun out of all control. She stumbled clumsily in exhaustion and anger as she turned to her marchwarden.

"I am not an elfling Haldir. This was not my fault"

standing up he brushed the leaves and dirt from his cloak and approached her, his boots crunching the leaves almost silently.

"Nobody is to blame. Why do you insist on placing blame for everything. There are somethings that are just meant to be"

he watched with growing confusion as she curled her fists and growled angrily low in her throat. Out of the corner of his eye he watched the remainder of their party begin to dissipate. Once again the grove was quiet and the sound of the river dominated the air and demanded their attention.

He watched as she swayed gently, her face turning pale and her eyes glazing and luckily his agility allowed him to catch her before she hit the ground. Adjusting her in his arms he moved her hands out of the way to reveal a steadily bleeding wound.

Lifted her into his arms he silently cursed as he tried to gather the remainder of her dress before he tripped over it.

Making his way quickly and easily past the fires he called for a healer.

She cried out softly as the healer probed her wound and in her fever she had taken hold of his hand and was refusing to let her go. Trying not to take note of what the healer was doing the marchwarden took the remainder of the reports due from his wardens.

"The wound is poisoned, she needs to get to a healer soon"

Through the fog of her mind she heard his words and managed to open her eyes.

"No, I survived worse. I will recover"

Slightly amused yet overly concerned Haldir lifted her into his arms.

"Warden you under my command. You will be taken back to the city and you will be cared for. I do not expect to hear of any complaints am I clear?"

looking up at him with glazed eyes she managed to nod her head.

"It hurts Haldir"

"I know"

she gasped sharply and fainted dead in his arms. Taking his chance Haldir handed her over ot the healer and let her go.

He had watched the scene carefully and in his mind as he replayed it it became clearer. The attack was not simply an attack. It had been planned.


	23. Past made present

Disclaimer- once again- just for the record- I don't own it...really...I don't

Fan- thanks- i'm really glad

dani-celebrindel- yes i'm back...or at least trying. Thanks so much for reviewing. I hope you#'re not dissappointed

Arden Skysender- I won't leave this till its finished i promise. Thank you- i tried to get that across in the way it was written so I'm glad you noticed it. I like to read emotions in a story and as you may have noticed i'm more of an emotional writer than a descriptive one. Thanks for taking the time to leave a review.

TwinLovers- thank you. I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I hope you like it- let me know.

Can somebody help me- I've been trying to find a story that was updated about a month ago. It starts off with a character called Rebekah- or is spelt sorta like that, who becomes Legolas' best friend.To begin with its a Boromir romance but when he dies Eomer takes over. I know its a bad summary andI profusely apologise to the author but I've been looking for it everywhere and I can't find it! Does anybody know who its by or what its called? Thanks xxx

Please please leave a review xxx

* * *

The rivers would run red with the blood of elves and men and the sky would blacken with the smoke of the burning forests. Innocence and gaiety would lose its presence and all would pass through the gates of deception lest they be challenged. The world would change and with it so would the peoples of the lands whether it be for good or evil.

* * *

The air had cooled leaving a front on the breeze. The harsh light of the night was painful and bitter and the memories bitter still. Lorien's marchwarden sat in a chair on his balcony as he tried to relax. Sighing heavily he looked up from the book thatlayinhis lap, allowing hiseyes to roam the path before him,slowly finding the figure to who the inconspicuous footsteps he had been hearing belonged to. 

Her bare feet stepped lightly over the fresh green grass, her slender hands holding up thehem of her dress so to avoid slipping and he couldn't help but notice the slight limp she still held. Sitting back in his chair he let his thoughts travel back to the elleth he had once held close on a fresh summers morning among the flowers beside the waterfalls.

The water slid over her pale skin as she pulled herself onto the grassy back and his lust filledeyes couldn't help but follow the droplet of water that ran down her long neck and down her valley of her perfectly shaped breasts. She laughed lightly and stuck her tongue out at him as she pulled on a silknen robe thsat stuck to her figue .

He chuckled and beckoned to her, knowing that although she was playing with him, she knew that he was not. Obediently she sat a few feet from him looking at him from underneath curled eyelashes. The damp tendrils of hair in front of her hair made it difficulty to see her expression but to him, it all served to make her actions a little more...tempting.

Raising an eyebrow he looked at her sternly,

"I said come here"

his voice was cool and to any other it would have sent shivers up their spine and sent them running. But the shivers up her spine were the ones that bid her to stay. He lifted his chin as she defiantly remained seated and he bid her again, this time allowing an icy edge to flow overthe crispwords. Feeling a little threatened she crawled slowly towards him, letting her body glide, she knew that his eyes would follow every movement she made unwaveringly.

Haldir leaned back against the silver tree, his leg was drawn up and his wrist draped lazily over his knee. Turning to her his blue eyes met hers and he couldn't help but feel a wave of satisfaction as he glimpsed her defiance and her pleasure. She stuck her tongue out at him and with lightening reflexes he caught it between his thumb and forefinger. He held her tongue with one hand and grasped her chin with the other, making her look at him.

"When I tell you to do something, you do it. You do it without question and you do it immediately, do you understand?"

he tightened the fingers that held her chin as she nodded her head. Withholding a wicked grin beneath an icy exterior he held her chin and kissed her demandingly but gently. There was a free choice in his kiss and she knew just what it meant. But she had never walked and she would not do so now.

His finger would themselves into her hair as her fingers undid the towel that he had secured around his waist.

"You think too deeply my lord"

he was pulled from his thoughts immediately by the very person whom had captured his gaze. Her green eyes studied him as she toyed with her bottom lip with her teeth. Stepping forward he slid his hand up her body and gently pulled her into his arms. He held her head to his chest and relished the scent of her perfume as she nuzzled her head into his chest. She slipped her hands up his back and held him tightly,

"What is this haldir? It is highly unlike you too..."

"...Shhh"

he shook his head, soothing her as he felt her heart begin to beat in rapid succession.

"There is nothing wrong meleth. I was merely thinking"

she smiled as he tightened his hold on her. He made her feel so safe, there was nothing that could torment her and she knew that if he let her shewould melt into those arms.

"You dwell on the past?"

"As do you"

he was quick to answer her question and he knew that as she stood back she would again ask him. Stepping back he took her hand in his and together they walked. They knew not what their destination was to be but that would not matter.

"I would have you safe, by my side. But you know that that is impossible"

she smiled softly and placed her arm around his.

"It is not as it once was, there is no need for your ever watchful eye Haldir. Though of course I an not adverse to it and I do appreciate your caring"

he felt an odd sense of pride swell in his chest that was quickly being overtaken by a sense of frustration. As they walked the silence between them became comfortable and both were content to simply enjoy each others company.

"What, or rightly who, has captured the noble marchwarden of our fair lands eye? The look upon your face and the depth of your eyes tell me that you are in turmoil"

looking down at her he recognized the faint look of amusement sparkling the eyes that bore it. The way that she looked up at him stirred the memories from his mind and for a fleeting moment there was guilt. But he decided to play a little,

"She is a maid of simplistic beauty though she is anything but. The trees whisper her name and the rivers bare it. Her eyes hold the stars and her heart holds the moon. She has courage above most but hs heart that most would envy. She is loving and she forgiving. She is quick to anger yet she burns with a passion known to few"

stepping back from him she bit her bottom lip to try and hide the rapidly widening smile and placing her hands on her hips she pointed accusingly at him,

"You my friend...are smitten. And yet you neglect to tell me. Tell me, who is she? This maiden who you bestow such compliments to and dare I say your heart?"

She coked her head, her words were spoken in such an innocent and curiosity that he did not have the heart to play games with her, but nor did he wish to frighten her.

He allowed his gaze to fall over her form. She was beautiful and his heart ached with the knowledge of what had been done to her. But the rage was terrible and so powerful that the very air around them seemed to throb in response.

He was so involved in his thoughts that it startled him when she placed her hands on his arms and lightly ran her fingers up his arms making his skin tingle pleasantly as his body responded to every caress through the thin silk of his shirt.

"What if I was to say that my days in Middle Earth are coming to an end?"

she whispered regretfully as she leaned into his chest seeking comfort and reassurance. He did not hold her but it made no difference.

"I would tell you that I needed you. War is upon us and I do not doubt that Lorien will burn. It is inevitable"

she held him tighter but said not a word.

"And I cannot be here to witness it downfall. I will not remain here like an infant, ready and willing to join the guard but forced to stay behind. Do you know it feels to regress into...into a helpless elfling. The one thing that keeps me strong is the very thing that threatens my downfall. I would have my revenge Haldir"

he raised an eyebrow and took her hands from around his neck

"I did not say that you had to remain behind. I said that I would have you safe. And that would be by my side"

she shook her head and unable to hold back the tears she quickly kissed him on the lips and turned her back. Leaving him alone.

The as only whom to whom she had promised her heart and her love you not waver. And yet her lover, her friend, her captain had held her, guided her and loved her over the years and she would forever hold him in her heart. And yet he heart betrayed her, she had seen what was to come and she would not bare it if she were to hold him close only to lose him again.

The time of the elves was needing and the age of men was about to begin. But that was not so yet and whilst the elves remained in Middle Earth they would not stand back and let it go to ruin. This was something which she both feared and relished. She would fight once more. And if she went to her death...then she would do it with a true heart.


	24. Council

Disclaimer- Do I have to?...Fine...I own nothing!

Anonymous- The typos will be fixed- but due to the help of my new beta- they are a thing of the past. You were supposed to be confused. The lines are now blurred between the two of the and neither of them understand what's going on.

Psalm 136- thank you, that was kind of you to say. Elrohir is definately my fav lol

Luthien Telemaitte-I still haven't found that story. Agreed there aren't are they- we need more twin fics

Arden Skysender- lol well thanks for taking what little time you had to review! I'm greatful

dani-celebridel- oh god- very glad to hear it! thanks

Silmarwen1119- good- this summer i'm hoping to free up some time to edit everything! thats what I tried to get across- this won't be solved by a hug from a cute elf but at the same time she has to be seen to struggle with her thoughts and feelings. thanks for reviewing

Thanks for reading and reviewing- I feed off of reviews!

EldarExilePrincess- this everybody is my new beta reader. She will be among the first to see any new material and of course will be checking chapters for any offensive material...such as typos. I can't say how greatful Iam to have her help- shes really helped to make this chapter...readable. So thanks hun

* * *

The room felt uncomfortable. The breeze felt not fresh but stale as it filled her lungs and for but a second she felt nauseous. Nothing, to her knowledge, had threatened the realm of the Lady in over an age, and to know that her home was in danger was a more terrifying feeling than she had thought. It dominated her thoughts, crying out every moment for a release and yet there could be none.

There was something in the air, even as they sat there the very fibers in their bodies told them to remain where they were, for they would soon wish that they were elsewhere.

Galadriel sat tall, the dazzling aura of knowledge and power surrounding her, yet it was her husband, the Lord Celeborn, who held stature; for the sorrow in her gaze could clearly be seen, if not the cause.

Haldir sat opposite Lord Celeborn, as was his custom. And beside him sat Galahir. The last to join the council was Tanith. The elleth sat entrapped in the tall chair, letting its tall back and arms swamp her body and take over her mind. For she was afraid. There was naught but callous planning to be had in conversation and it was stifling. It was cold; the chill of terror had rooted itself within her veins, making her immobile to the warmth so readily being offered. Perhaps she did not wish to be comforted.

Galadriel locked her icy blue gaze onto Tanith. Haldir watched with a warning in his heart as Tanith's hand curled around each other and her eyes narrowed in what seemed like rage.

Tanith had sat silently listening to the debate of those who would protect her. And yet over the hours she had felt doubt creep into the deepest regions of her mind. Her eyes widened as she felt the edges of her mind being tested. The presence was soothing yet it caused her to panic as her chest tightened and her mind opened up against her will.

She raised her eyes and fixed Galadriel with a stare that was dripping with malice

"Get out, get out now!"

"Do not fight it, young one." Galadriel's calming voice echoed through her head, but she fought it with everything she had left.

"No, get out, get out!"

Galadriel felt Tanith's fear and carefully retreated from her mind. As her Lady she felt a duty to her young charge. The world was changing, and Tanith had to change with it. But in order to do that, she needed to embrace her past, for there were things that she had not spoken of.

Tanith slumped into her chair, letting it swallow her body as she closed her eyes against the concerned gazes of her Lord and Marchwarden. The room fell silent and cold; nobody dared to speak, for they felt that a moment of revelation had passed before their eyes. And though they had not seen it, they felt it. Shaking her head, Tanith opened her eyes only to be met by the clear blue gaze of her lord. As she did so, she felt his encouragement and his support, and she knew

that it had to be done. She locked her gaze with his as she began, drawing from his strength:

"They will come in groups of no more than four dozen. They will come swiftly, without question or fear. They care nothing for the lives of elves and would gladly see us dead amongst the dirt. Lórien will withstand but a few battles before crumbling to ashes."

Haldir shook his head in disagreement.

"Our defenses…"

"Our defense will not outlast them. They will hit us hard and fast. We have neither the time nor Elves to protect our lands. We must be swift, for we have but one advantage: they lack intelligence and speed. We can outwit them, and by doing so, possibly maintain our defenses."

"The first wave will come at dawn on the fifth day of their presence. They will kill the strong and able so as to make the weak and defenseless live in terror until their return. The first wave will be an easy kill, for they do not stop in their tracks."

She stood from her chair as her confidence grew, and in doing so, she willingly stepped into the role that she had once filled with such pride. To see her now made them realize that all hope was not lost.

But inside she was quivering with fright; there was nothing that she could say that would cover up her feelings, and standing before them she felt naked and exposed. It was taking all of her energy to keep the memories from surfacing; she couldn't let them see, they couldn't know. She had been tied up, her wrist caught behind her back and her ankles tied together. Her back was bleeding from the whipping she had endured and her joints were stiff as exhaustion had set in. She had been tied to a tree to watch as the hoard of them terrorized a small village, killing those in sight. She had wept that night for such a brutal act, but she had not seen what was yet to come. A few days later, a few hours after dawn, they ransacked the village. She had been forced to watch as the old had been slain and the young girls were raped. And then they had burned the village to the ground.

She jumped when she felt the gentle tough of Lord Celeborn on her elbow as he gestured to her chair. She sat down, dazed and confused.

"We have but one choice. We must defend the city as best we can; gather all the information you can. Avoid being seen. Haldir, send out scouts. I want the outskirts of the city emptying as soon as possible. Shelter will be set up, as will contingency plans, should our defenses fail"

"My lord, we must ask for help, or our plans will be little use. We cannot defeat them on our own"

Galadhir spoke the truth. Nobody had wanted to hear the words, for they had been hanging over them for hours smothering them like a heavy fog.

Haldir could not help but feel that he had somehow failed, and despite the arrogant knowledge

that his wardens were the most finely trained that he knew of and they would easily defeat the evil slowly taking over their land, his heart was still heavy.

"Lórien will not fall into shadow. My wardens have not trained for this long without gaining courage and excellence."

But even so, a shadow had been growing among them, and they knew that an attack was unavoidable.

Over the days, Celebrían had readied herself for the onslaught. She had not wielded a sword in battle for so long, but she was confident that her abilities would not to fail her. She had been deep in sleep when the call had come, the bloodcurdling cry of battle had pulled her violently from her sleep, and in that single moment she wished herself back at home with her husband and children. But she had risen from her place with a speed not lost from the days of her training, and throwing off her cloak she revealed a tunic and leggings of an off white colour not yet stained with the violence that she was about to inflict.

Her sword lay gently but comfortingly in the palm of her hand an as she swung it over her hand and across the neck of a large orc she felt power flood her veins.

Her arms had burned with the effort of fending them off and the more she worked the faster they seemed to come. Out of the corner of her eye she watched her guardians begin to fall, one by one. And with each one of them her hope died a little more. Suddenly caught off guard she looked down at the sensation of her stomach burning. Her tunic was soon soaking with the blood red liquid flowing freely from her veins and it was only the thought of her children that kept her from surrender.

Her blade sliced cleanly through the belly of an orc, the foul liquid pouring onto her hands almost making her gag with the overwhelming stench of it.

The blood thundered in her ears blocking out any sound that might have distracted her. But the pounding of her heart and the weariness of her limbs caught her off guard and she didn't see the blade that came down over her head, sending her into a deep oblivion.

The war had just begun.


	25. Blessing

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

Thanks to everybody who read and reviewed. Please leave a review behind! xxx

* * *

She stood upon the edge of a high talan, watching her comrades ready themselves for battle.

The golden sheen of their armour and the blue of their cloaks gave a mysteriously menacing impression, and in her mind she saw them rise to an almost impossible victory.

Her hands trembled with anger as her eyes connected with those of her commander. Was she being merely selfish? Or was Haldir right? She could not fight, she could not risk losing to her fear or her thirst for revenge which flowed like molten lava through her veins, making her body tingle with impatience and need.

Shaking her head, she once again focused on the scene below, where a family was saying their good-byes, elves joked good naturedly with each other and friends gave their best wishes.

The leaves of the tall trees that surrounded them were light and young, and it was as if they were lending them hope. She knew that they were giving her some hope of the future and she took it and treasured it.

Listening carefully to the sound of light leather boots, she turned to see Rumil standing behind her, a look of happiness on his face; his thin lips were turned up into a smile and his blue eyes were sparkling with delight.

"Rúmil what are you doing here? You are supposed to be with the others. Do you not leave with them?"

He smiled and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"My darling little sister, for that is what you are to me, have you listened to a single word that has been said these past days?"

Her eyes narrowed as she tried desperately to search for any recollection of a conversation that could possibly result in Rumil's current mood. Her eyes glazed over as she shook her head.

"I don't remember."

She knew it was pathetic, but there wasn't anything else she could say, and not wishing to see the look upon his face, she turned her attention to the pale golden fabric of her dress that she held in her hand.

"Don't do that, you will crease the fabric. If you had been listening to me you would have known that I am to remain behind."

Taking a step backwards, a look of intrigue and suspicion was plain to see on her face.

"Why?"

Rumil coughed and let a look of indignance spread over his features, he had no wish to anger her but not did he wish to keep the truth from her.

"I had thought that perhaps you would need somebody to remain behind."

She turned a pale shade of red as she stared open mouthed at him before quickly gathering her fury and letting it over-spill.

"You thought what? Don't you dare answer that! I do not have time for childish games, Rúmil, and I have even less time for people who waste my time."

She stood but a few inches from him, her nose almost touching his as she hissed at him.

"I am not a child, and I would be grateful if you stopped treating me as one."

Rúmil's demeanour changed and his eyes darkened.

"Do not think that this is simply for your benefit, warden. When you were taken, it was a shock and an outrage. Lórien was aghast with anger and sorrow. How had an elleth, no less a warden, been taken without our knowledge? Never had it happened and we cried for you. We thought you lost. And then when we heard of your survival, we were overjoyed but pained. We know of the horrors Orcs inflict, and we could not stand the thought of one of our own living through such torment. I thought you were gone and I never again expected to see your face. My heart wept bitterly and it will not do so again for I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

Her eyes pricked with tears and she fought with everything she could to keep the tears from spilling once again as she watched him turn to leave.

"Rúmil wait. Please…I'm sorry. I did not think. I am sorry."

He nodded his acceptance of her words but did not turn to her.

"You must remember that although we were not there to heal you, we are still just as pained, I am merely sorry that I was not there to protect you."

"I do not need protecting, but I could use a friend if you are offering."

He turned to look at her, a soft smile playing on his lips as he held out his hand to her.

"Aye, I will do what I can."

Embracing him tightly, she whispered words that were only known to them and their meaning was to be kept secret. But something passed between them and she felt her heart lifted greatly.

"I am going for a walk. I will not go far and I remain within but a short distance. But I cannot watch them leave Rúmil. I am selfish, but I cannot watch them."

Nodding his head in understanding Rumil watched her go. He knew that there could be no resolution for the way that she was feeling until she accepted the truth of her attack. But he was beginning to doubt whether or not she would ever give into the terror and sadness that she held within her heart.

----

And it was as the sun rose to her height that the marchwarden made his way through the trees and towards the aura of his friend.

His boots crunched the delicate leaves beneath him as he walked, and the dark red cloak swayed around his legs as he jumped from branch to branch to avoid crossing the river. And then at last he saw her, sat beside the river, her hair in curls and her eyes sparkling as she hugged her knees to her, the golden fabric of her dress pooling around her in waves.

"I had thought that you would have perhaps given us your luck. I missed your face among those gathered and I was hurt to see you gone, would you have refused your blessing?"

She looked up, a smile playing on her face as her eyes glittered. He looked magnificent, his golden armour polished to perfection, the look on his face just as hard and admirable. His eyes narrowed playfully as she rose from her seat among the leaves.

"No marchwarden, I would not have refused you my blessing."

She sighed heavily and shook her head, her eyes grazing over the moss covered trees before finally settling on his face.

"You know why I did not wish to see you leave, and yet you berate me for it. If I did not know you as I do, I think I would be offended, my lord."

Haldir crossed his arms across his chest as he held her gaze.

"You know more than I the way of the Orcs. If it were my decision, you would be by my side as we march, but it is not and it is our duty to do as we are asked."

A feeling of nervousness entered his stomach as she looked up towards the sky above the high branches of the tress and then he watched as she turned from him, her hand lingering slightly to beckon him to follow. She growled softly as the hem of her dress caught on a stray branch but not once did she slow down and he couldn't help the grin that spread over his lips as he recognized part of himself in her habits. It was only natural that it was so, she had been trained by him and had fought by his side for over a millennia.

"So what is it that you wish to say?"

He had expected that question, yet it still unnerved him, and the look on her face unnerved him still. Her eyes were veiled and her lips turned up in a perhaps…sly grin.

"Ask me Haldir, it's alright, I won't bite, or cry. I promise. But then again…you do not know that, do you, marchwarden?"

A chill ran up his spine as she neared him, her hair wild and free, and her eyes darkened.

"Why Haldir? Tell me the truth. I spoke with Rúmil this morning, he pacifies me but he does not give me the whole truth, he never has. I am tired of being lied to Haldir, let me come with you, let me fight!"

"This is precisely why I will not let you fight. You think with your heart and if you are not careful, you will get yourself killed. Never did I teach you to walk into battle with your heart. If you wish to remain a warden, you must close yourself off the moment you place your sword by your hip. At that moment you are a warrior, a protector. This person…this…imposter that stands before me is a coward who seeks only to endanger herself and her comrades."

Her hand rose from her side in a flash only to be caught less than an inch away from Haldir's face. His grip on her hand tightened significantly.

"Stop behaving like a child, Tanithia. I only hope that Lord Elrohir's return will serve you well and…tame you somewhat."

In a moment of unsure anger, she kicked him in the shin, wincing as the hard metal hurt her foot. Haldir smiled, still holding her hand securely.

"Lord Celeborn will be continuing your lessons, will he not? I would suggest that you speak with him. When I come back, I wish to see my warden fully returned to me, and without this anger. Am I understood?"

She gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes to make it obvious to him that he had not won, yet his expression did not give such satisfaction. Her chest heaved and her head throbbed as he took hold of her chin and forced her to look at him.

"Am I understood?"

He looked calm as he asked her, but inside a storm was raging. Was his treatment of her deserved? Was it right? Would it damage her in any way? But the defiance in her eyes had driven him to it and he knew that if she did not give her an answer she would regret it, he would make her regret it.

And carefully, with a glint of remorse she nodded as best she could.

"I understand."

Her voice was soft as she spoke, as it startled him somewhat. The hard demeanour that she had disguised herself with was gone, only to be replaced with the soft, disappointed look of a hurt and angry elleth.

Letting her go gently, he stepped back.

"I must take my leave. Think about what has taken place between us today and think upon what I have said. When I return we will discuss it in detail. Keep safe, warden."

Placing a hand on his heart, he swept it gently as he bowed his head to her. So taken aback was she that it took her a moment to give her own blessing but in doing so she had allowed her friend great insight to her heart.

Haldir could not help but smile as he turned on his heel to return to his warriors. Elrohir was indeed on his way to Lórien. And all was not as it seemed.

----------

Upon the hills among the bodies of orcs and elves Celebrian lay battered and bruised, unable to move. She lay still on the ground, her body exhausted and pained. She could feel the sharp pain in her stomach, and her head was throbbing with agonizing pain that made tears run steadily down her cheeks. But she couldn't move. She couldn't feel her legs nor could she lift her head. Through the haze of pain and the steady thump of her blood that dominated her hearing, she caught the sound of hooves upon the rocks.

Her chest tightened and she found it difficult to breathe. Her eyes opened, but the sting of tears was almost too much and she shut them tightly. Her hearing altered again and she could hear faint whisperings and the sound of something heavy begin dropped onto the floor. Her mind worked desperately to make her body move but she couldn't, it wouldn't move and the fear was very quickly welling up within her chest. It was too much, she couldn't do this, not now, it hurt too much. She closed her eyes and let her mind escape.

And that is how her sons found her.


End file.
